Past, Present, and Future
by My Whole Life Is Thunder
Summary: AU Tony went to Rota and Ziva joined the team much later. Tony left DC after being cleared of a horrific accusation. When Gibbs' SFA retires. Tony returns widowed with his teen son and young daughter. Ziva came to DC and joined Team Gibbs after the death of her husband. She has a teen daughter and young son. Both plagued by their pasts and grief Tony and Ziva quickly fall in love.
1. Prologue

The wind blew hard in Tony's face as he faced the gravestone. He clutched the jacket to his chest and took a deep breath. He wished that she were still here with him and could give him the advice he needed. Even though he knew the answer she would give and it was the same one he wanted to give. He wanted to give this answer but for selfish reasons. He could not face that choice on his own and there really wasn't anywhere to turn. Kensi and Deeks were planning a wedding and moving on with their lives. While Eric dealt with finally being out as bi and Nell dealt with the loss of her relationship. Callen was dealing with Joell and only ever listened to Sam anyway. Sam had just sent his daughter off to boarding school and was getting used to an empty nest. Granger was gone and Hetty was deep in mourning. He didn't have any family to speak of, except for Carson and Louise, and they were too young to really understand. He didn't care that Carson had facial hair and was getting his learner's permit. Fifteen was too young for a life altering decision. No this was the kind of choice that should be made by a husband and a wife. Unfortunately his wife was dead and everything had always fallen on him.

"Headstones cannot decide lives, Mr. DiNozzo." Hetty announced.

"Hetty? What are you doing here?" Tony asked.

"Owen was found in a hotel room in Romania a few days ago. I was the only contact and he wanted it simple." Hetty explained.

"Sorry" Tony apologized.

"Don't be he had been sick for a long time. I do advise you invest in fire proof suits for yourself and your family. You remember how much of a hell raiser, Owen was." Hetty joked.

"I'll think about it." Tony laughed.

"Well I know why you are here and I can assure you that Sofia would want you to return to DC. Agent Afloat is a single agent's game. Not for a widowed father of two." Hetty explained.

"I know but after what happened." Tony sighed.

"I remind you that Cassidy told Timothy the truth about what happened and he felt terrible for treating you the way he did." Hetty explained.

"I know but he looked me in the eyes and called me a rapist. Even Gibbs did not believe me. I almost lost everything." Tony explained.

"But you did not and it is time that you faced your past." Hetty insisted.

"Yeah I'll talk it over with Carson and Gavriella." Tony replied.

* * *

Back in Washington the bullpen was abuzz with conversation. Agent Tavers had served as Senior Field Agent for nearly thirteen years but was now preparing to head up his own team in Rota Spain. McGee had turned down the role and now a new agent was coming in. Rumor was that a the new agent was actually the former SFA. McGee and Gibbs knew the story well, as did Abby and Ducky. They had been there for the entire ordeal. Tavers knew the story to an extent but only the headline details. David was new to the country and had only heard the name spoken but never even a sprinkle of the details.

"If it's true. I don't believe it. I mean he was shattered when he left and pretty much vowed to never return." McGee said.

"That was entirely our faults." Gibbs reminded.

"I don't know agent afloat is almost a punishment over a choice." Tavers commented.

"If he decides to come back. We do not bring up the story unless he wants to and we do not let anyone tell us he is a criminal." Gibbs explained.

"I am sorry but what happened? Why is it so surprising Tony is coming back? What could be so bad he would chose to be agent afloat? And what did he do or didn't do?" Ziva questioned.

"A few years ago Gibbs retired for a time and Tony was made the new Agent in Charge. After Tony left he was offered a position as team lead in Rota Spain. He turned the job down initially. Two weeks after that I as undercover and Tony was taking care of my dog Dr. Who."

"You had a dog named Dr. Who? I thought it was Jethro." Ziva commented.

"Dr. Who was my childhood dog and he was my hero. Anyway Tony was watching Dr. Who for me while I was out of town. While I was gone my girlfriend at the time Cassidy came over. She was drunk and horny. I guess she came on to Tony but he turned her down. She was too messed up to drive. So Tony let her crash in the guest room and promised to drive her home in the morning. I don't know if she was so loaded she forgot Tony was staying at my place and sleeping in the bed or if she just wanted to get with him that much. Anyway at some point during the night she climbed into my bed, naked. I had, had a major fight with my dad and came home early. So I came into my room and find Cassidy naked with Tony. Long story short I assumed that Tony had taken advantage of her and Cassidy didn't exactly correct me. Until it was too late. I reported Tony to Vance and before I knew it the LEO"s were involved. Thankfully Cassidy ended up confessing when Jimmy finally confronted her. We broke up and I tried to make right with Tony but he was pissed. His wife had left him and had already served him with divorce papers by the time Cassidy confessed." McGee explained.

"McGee" Ziva gasped.

"Look I tried to make it right but he was too hurt." McGee insisted.

"He had the right to be pissed at us and still does. That being said we do not bring up the incident unless Tony brings it up first. If he returns for this to work out. We have to start from square one." Gibbs explained.

* * *

Tony stepped through the front door of his apartment. The living area and kitchen were trashed, and Carson's basketball was lying in the middle of the floor. was balled up on her bed, her face covered by her red comforter.

"Dad! Carson trashed my room!" Gavriella cried.

"Carson Anthony DiNozzo!" Tony barked.

"I wanted to play ball but the nerd just had to study." Carson groaned.

"I don't care. You know the rules and you know that your sister has her right to privacy." Tony reminded.

"Why the hell do we live in a tiny apartment?" Carson scoffed.

"Our house only burned down three weeks ago. We are lucky to have this place." Tony reminded.

"Just find a house already!" Carson begged.

"I was going to go out today but I got some weird news at work and I had to go see your mother and talk to her." Tony explained.

"What weird news? Are you you OK?" Gavriella asked.

"I am fine but the new Assistant Director doesn't think our team needs to be five. There are two positions open. SFA back in DC and Agent Afloat." Tony explained.

"What happens if you take Agent Afloat? Do we all move onto the boat or do Louise and I make it on our own. If that's the case, I am selling Gavriella to gypsies and taking Zombie Rat on the road." Carson explained.

"You would live with Hetty." Tony replied.

"Hetty? The midget who knows everything you do a decade before you do it?" Carson asked.

"That's the one." Tony replied.

"In that case I say move to DC." Carson replied.

"But all my friends are here!" Gavriella whined.

"You will make new friends." Tony assured.

"Are there other girls like me?" Gavriella asked.

"No Louise, there is literally no other ten year old girls in in the DC area. You would be the first and only." Carson teased.

"Carson!" Tony hissed.

"She asked a stupid question. I gave a stupid answer." Carson scoffed.

* * *

 **A/N: Should I continue? Yes I know that Tony was in LA but McGee said he went to Spain. I will explain that later on. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	2. Decided

The DiNozzo's had lost most everything in the fire and most of what they did own was borrowed. So there really wasn't that much to pack. Just the few items that had been spared, including the fire proof safe, and the few things the family had collected in the three weeks since the fire. It was a true miracle that the DiNozzo children had survived the ordeal. Tony had to go into work early but Carson's school had a meeting delay. The kids would only be on their own for an hour or two and Tony's only real concern was Carson "accidentally missing the bus." The children were asleep and the person in the adjoining unit had accidentally left his space heater plugged in. The smoke alarms went off but the fire was already racing down the hall by the time the children woke. Carson managed to get out the window but Gavriella could not get hers opened. Mercifully their neighbor who happened to be a friend of Carson's still had to wake up early and walk his dog. He had junior firefighter training and saved Gavriella just in the nick of time. That day still haunted Tony even though everything turned out fine and the incident was not really his fault.

* * *

The move had seemed to be a difficult decision but in the end it was the easiest choice Tony had ever made. He thought back to the fire and how close he came to losing his children while he was gone. He could not chance letting that happen again. He could not be at sea and go days if not weeks or months without hearing from his children. He told Hetty and assistant director Harris his decision. They had given him three weeks and that time was up. He had three days to move across country and then report to NCIS DC HQ for his new job. Returning to team Gibbs would be a major challenge for him but he had to do what was best for the children.

"You guys all packed?" Tony asked.

"Yes" Gavriella replied.

"Almost" Carson said.

"Almost? What do you mean almost?" Tony asked.

"I still have a few things to pack." Carson replied.

"How much?" Tony asked.

"Three boxes" Carson admitted.

"Three boxes? I thought I told you to be packed by ten." Tony recalled.

"I overslept." Carson sighed.

"Not an excuse. I am going to get Gavriella's and my stuff down. You get finished. If you aren't done but eleven we are leaving anything unpacked behind." Tony barked.

"Yes sir" Carson sighed.

* * *

Jimmy Palmer was pissed to say the least. He could not believe the way the team was acting. Acting as if nothing had happened. They had run Tony off in the first place and they needed to be prepared for the fall out. They needed to be prepared for confrontation and anger. They had nearly destroyed Tony's life and yet were hurt when he departed the team. Yes it did look bad when Tony was in bed with Cassidy naked and drunk, but Tony was in boxers and obviously startled. Besides the fact that Cassidy was a hot mess and McGee was only dating her to get back at Abby. Cassidy was Abby's disaster friend and Abby had specifically told McGee not to date her. Not because of the dating an ex thing but because Cassidy did stuff like this. Still Abby had sided with her friend and everybody else had gone along with Abby and McGee. They had run Tony off and they had no right to be angry with him for leaving. They certainly did not deserve any apologies. His blood had boiled when he heard Abby and Ducky talking about how Tony should apologize. Apologize for what? Leaving after being humiliated, publicly arrested and stripped from his job, and have his wife leave the country with his young son.

* * *

Ziva slammed the door shut behind her and ordered her daughter Juliana upstairs. Being a single mom was bad enough but having to leave work because her daughter had been suspended. That was just a pure nightmare. Juliana had been a great kid. Until the start of this school year. She fell in with some rebellious girls. At first it was skipping school which Ziva would not tolerate but this was the first time a suspension had been required. The strange thing was that Juliana had stopped hanging out with those girls. After the last incident had led to a near suspension. Now all of the sudden Juliana was suspended.

"Let me start by saying you are grounded for the entirety of your suspension." Ziva announced.

"That is so unfair!" Juliana snapped.

"The fact that I am missing a day of work to deal with you is unfair." Ziva rebutted.

"Oh come on mom. Like the Mossad princess never got suspended for fighting." Juliana spat.

"That is beside the point." Ziva replied.

"Mom it was an accident." Juliana sighed.

"You accidentally punched somebody in the chest? You nearly stopped her heart." Ziva questioned.

"Mom she was talking about how she hated The Retards. I just reacted. Then it turns out that The Retards was a band." Juliana explained.

"So you thought you were standing up to people like your brother?" Ziva asked.

"Yes Ima" Juliana replied.

"Look you still punched Anna unprovoked. So you are going to apologize and you are still grounded through the weekend but I understand where you are coming from. So I am shortening your sentence by four days." Ziva explained.

"Really?" Juliana asked.

"Yes now get to work on that apology letter. I have to call John's school and let them know that I will be home to meet him at the bus." Ziva replied.

"Unless it interferes with my grounding. I will still get Johnny off the bus." Juliana offered.

"I will get him but thanks for the offer and thank you for being such a great big sister." Ziva replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Tony and the team reunite in the next chapter. How will it go? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	3. Realities

The flight from Los Angeles to Washington DC was fairly uneventful. They hit mild turbulence over the Rockies but they were soon back on their smooth flight. Gavriella was never a fan of flying but The in flight movie kept her calm. Carson was hitting on the flight attendant. Even though she was thirty and married. Tony just held onto his carry on. In the bag was the fire proof safe. They had to open the safe anyway and once it was cleared he begged to have it in his carry on. The safe held all he had of Sofia. They were arranging to have her exhumed and cremated. Tony just couldn't bear the idea of ever having to leave her again. Losing her had been the greatest tragedy of his life. It was made worse by the fact she was carrying their third child at the time. Just days away from viability but nothing could be done. Tony still carried guilt for deciding to turn off life support. Carson had hated him for a long time and Gavriella was still small and begging for her mommy.

"We are now making our descent into Baltimore Regional Airport. Please fasten your seat-belts."

"Well kids, we are here. Time to start our new life." Tony announced.

"I hope I can make new friends." Gavriella commented.

"I hope there are a lot of hot chicks." Carson laughed.

"You will fit in fine. Both of you." Tony assured.

* * *

Jimmy, Breena, and little Victoria had arrived to meet the DiNozzo's at the airport. The DiNozzo's had another week before their new home was ready for move in and since the Palmer's had an extra room. They were allowing the DiNozzo's to stay with them for a few days. The Palmer's had been friends with the DiNozzo family for years. Long before the Palmer's were a family. Back in the days when Jimmy and Breena were just really good friends. It was Sofia who encouraged Jimmy to ask Breena out and the couple's engagement brought joy to the woman in her hospital bed. Breena had flown out to help Tony out after and to this day would fly out any time she could spare the children the pain of being motherless. She could do so much more now that the DiNozzo's were back in DC. In a way it was a relief to Jimmy, but he knew that Tony would be facing a lot of pain.

"Tony texted. They are off the plane and at baggage claim. He had to take Gavriella to the bathroom but they should be with us soon." Jimmy announced.

* * *

Tony was relieved the airport had a family restroom. He knew that at ten Gavriella could use the bathroom on her own and normally he would just stand out the door. Only going in if Gavriella was having spasms or if her buttons were tight. He just worried about the air-port. A large crowded facility in a new place. Gavriella had mild Cerebral Palsy as result of her premature birth. She could walk well but used crutches and had a wheelchair for long distances. She had a harder time getting over illnesses than healthy ten year olds but overall was medically stable. Tony just worried. She was his baby girl after all.

"Alright I am done." Gavriella announced.

"Carson texted and said he has our luggage. The Palmer's are waiting by the Chili's." Tony announced.

"Breena Palmer is by the Chili's. Jimmy Palmer lost the coin toss and Tori Palmer just did something disgusting." Jimmy declared, carrying Tori as far out as his arms would stretch.

"Gavriella and I are going to get the luggage. We will meet you guys in a bit." Tony replied.

* * *

Even though Juliana was grounded, she was still invited on the family walk. John wanted his sister with them and it was hard for Ziva to say no to him. About halfway through the walk. John began to scream his head off. John was eight but mentally around two years old. The doctors had run a battery of tests but they still had no exact diagnosis. Ziva struggled as a single mother after losing her husband Daniel to a car accident. Between a special needs child, a young girl who needed love, and the guilt. The day Daniel died. Ziva was exhausted. Juliana had a softball game and John had a follow-up appointment following a hospital stay. She had forgotten about the prescription and Daniel said that he would go. He was never late, never made an extra stop without calling first. Ziva just knew that something was wrong. Juliana had been Ziva's rock through the past two years and that's why Ziva had come down so hard on her daughter for the incidents. She was scared of losing her only support. Back to reality and John was still screaming. By now he was red faced. Ziva knelt down in front of John's wheelchair.

"Is he OK?" Juliana asked.

"He's wet" Ziva whispered.

"Where can we change him?" Juliana asked.

"The ballpark? It's closer than the house." Ziva replied.

"They have practice." Juliana reminded.

"Let's just walk him home." Ziva sighed.

* * *

One of Ziva's biggest challenges with John was the bathroom issues. She carried a yoga mat for places that did not offer accommodations for handicapped individuals or for when she was visiting friends. So she didn't have to worry about messing people's furniture or floors. Sometimes she would use it at home. If she didn't feel like carrying John to the other room. The issue she could not handle was situations like this. Being in a place where she couldn't change him. She couldn't exactly lie him on the sidewalk and change him and she didn't know anyone in this neighborhood.

"Maybe I could knock on somebody's door." Juliana offered.

"No we are almost home." Ziva replied.

"I wish Trudy still lived in that empty house. She always let us change John there." Juliana whispered.

"I do too but we can't just bother strangers." Ziva reminded.

"But he's a handicapped child." Juliana reminded.

"I know but we must respect privacy." Ziva insisted.

* * *

Gavriella and Carson had begged Tony to go see the house and since he had to check out a few things anyway. He reluctantly agreed to bring them along. Their home had once belonged to an old woman. It was a nice house but she had been widowed for many years and her health was failing. The house was far from in disrepair but did need some work. The major repairs had been made; the roof was replaced and the steps were being repaired. That was why the family could not move in right away. Tony could make most of the rest of the repairs on his own. The only major thing was the desperate need for paint but Tony had opted to let the family get the feel of the house and pick the colors themselves. Just as Tony was about to pull into the drive he noticed a family stopped on the sidewalk. A woman and a teenage girl were standing over a small boy in wheelchair. Tony pulled to the side of the road and rolled his window down.

"Are you OK?" Tony asked.

"My son needs to be changed but there isn't anywhere near by." Ziva explained.

"I was just going to bring my kids to check out our new house. If you want to come in and change him. It's right over there and there is a ramp. We had to replace the steps. So I do not know if the ramp is any good but I can help you carry him." Tony offered.

"Oh no we are halfway home." Ziva replied.

"No I insist." Tony replied.

"Thanks my name is Ziva David by the way." Ziva replied.

"Tony DiNozzo" Tony replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Well they finally met. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	4. Lives

Ziva was relieved by Tony's presence. She knew this was more than likely a one time good deed. Tony was just trying to make a good impression and after that they would never see each other again. Except for maybe at school functions. She guessed that his son was about the same age as Juliana, but she knew his daughter would not attend Day-Field Academy with John. She knew that not all disabilities were visible but unless she were severely autistic or had another serious disorder. She would attend Carver Elementary. They had classes for special needs students and some were even eventually mainstreamed. John would never have that. She picked her son up and carried him into the house. She knew right where the bathroom was. She was carrying him through the living room when she heard a rumbling noise. She knew what was about to happen and started to run, praying she would make it. She made it halfway across the room before it happened. John's pants were caked and Tony's carpet was stained by the puddle.

"Gross" Carson whispered.

"Jackass" Juliana whispered, punching the air behind Carson's back.

"Oh no!" Tony cried racing in to see what the commotion was.

"I am sorry. I will pay to have it cleaned. He really has no control." Ziva apologized.

"It's no big deal. I mean is he OK?" Tony asked.

"He has severe gastrointestinal problems and feels nothing below his chest. This is what I deal with about fifty percent of the time." Ziva explained.

"What's wrong with him? Does he have cerebral palsy?" Tony asked.

"They honestly don't know. He has Cerebral Palsy but the doctors could never explain why and it only accounts for some of the issues. He was born a month early and we really thought he was going to be OK. Then I tried to feed him and his aspirated. This happened every time and they thought I just couldn't breast feed. We tried formula and the same thing. Even the NG Tube caused aspiration. They ran tests and it turns out his esophagus is severely malformed. He ended up having a G-Tube and has eaten nothing by mouth since he was three days old. He never will." Ziva explained.

"Can't they do surgery?" Tony asked.

"Even a minor surgery is risky with his medical problems. He had a tooth extracted last year and it turned into three days in the hospital." Ziva explained.

"All this from being born a month early?" Tony gasped.

"We knew about the heart in utero. That is why he was born early. He needed a surgery but they thought he would recover well. He had his first seizure when he was less than an hour old. They have run hundreds if not thousands of tests but nothing can explain his problems. He had a massive stroke on his second birthday. He was in a coma for a month and has not developed mentally since. He has never walked, talked, or had control over his body. He never will. He will never tease his sister, graduate college, get married, have children of his own, or even potty train." Ziva explained.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked.

Most of his brain is dead. We do occupational, speech, and physical therapy but he has made no progress in six years." Ziva explained.

"Oh Ziva" Tony whispered.

"I need to get him cleaned and ready for bed." Ziva replied.

"You can use my shower." Tony offered.

"Thank you and send me a bill for the carpet." Ziva replied.

"I hate shag carpeting. At least now I have an excuse to rip it out." Tony laughed.

* * *

Tony watched as Ziva bathed her eight year old son. A child who would never live a normal life. A child Ziva would always have to care for. He remembered the days following Gavriela's, Cerebral Palsy diagnosis. Wondering what the future would hold for her. She was a true miracle defying the odds. She took her first steps only three months behind a normal child. She actually talked ahead of schedule. She placed gifted in school and had even been given the opportunity to skip kindergarten but Sofia was so sick and Tony did not want to overwhelm the child.

"Do you have clothes for him? It's awfully cold." Tony asked.

"I always have extras in the diaper bag." Ziva replied.

"He got on your pants. Do you want to borrow something?" Tony offered.

"Oh no I couldn't." Ziva argued.

"No I insist" Tony countered.

* * *

Ziva brought John home and gave him his evening feed while she prepared her and Juliana's dinner. She was thinking she could skip the bath but he had three more episodes that night. After the last bath she put him in a fresh diaper and tucked him into his bed. They had knocked out the wall seperating the master bedroom from John's room and replaced it with a half wall. It was easier to maneuver the wheelchair and that way she did not have to worry about John having an issue during the night. Like clock work John's alarm went off. She grabbed the bag just in case and stepped into her son's room. The seizure only lasted about a minute but John was distressed. She picked him up and held him in close to her heart.

"He OK?" Juliana asked.

"It wasn't a bad one. He may just being having a nightmare." Ziva replied.

"Why did this happen to him?" Juliana asked.

"I don't know. I try not to think about it and just be glad he is here." Ziva replied.

"That Tony guy seemed nice." Juliana commented.

"He did but I doubt he will talk to me again." Ziva replied.

"Why not?" Juliana asked.

"My son had explosive diarrhea all over his living room and then I had a break down in his bathroom. He probably thinks we are a freak show." Ziva explained.

"I don't know mom. He seems like a really nice guy." Juliana replied.

* * *

Tony was lying awake in bed. Gavriella had insisted on taking a room upstairs. Tony knew that she could climb stairs but he had his worries. What if she fell or had a spasm? He instantly regretted buying a two story house. Maybe he should just tell the agent he had changed his mind and go back to that condo. No his therapist back home had made it clear he had to let Gavriella fly. No matter how hard it was for him. He heard a knock on the door.

"Whose, there?" Tony called.

"It's me!" Gavriella called back.

"Are you alright?" Tony asked.

"Yeah Carson's just being a tool. He keeps talking about how hot that Juliana girl was." Gavriella explained.

"Juliana?" Tony asked.

"John's sister, Ziva's daughter." Gavriella replied.

"Ziva" Tony whispered.

"She seemed nice but her life is so sad." Gavriella commented.

"Her life is not sad. It's just different than ours." Tony corrected.

"But her son is so sick." Gavriella recalled.

"Gavi, you were pretty sick when you were a baby. At first we didn't know if you would live and then we didn't know how severe your disability would be. We decided to not call our lives sad or hard. We would just be happy you are alive. We would cheer you at every turn and love you no matter what. We would care for you til the day we died if we had to. We just had to remember the mantra "Our lives are not sad." Because they are not. Our life was not sad and neither is Ziva's. it's hard but it is not sad. It would be sad if John had died but he did not." Tony explained.

"I guess you are right." Gavriella agreed.

"I really like Ziva." Tony whispered.

"What?" Gavriella asked.

"I want Ziva to be my friend." Tony replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Tony and Ziva relize they are teammates in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	5. First Day

Tony was dreading his first day back with Team Gibbs, at NCIS HQ. The dread went beyond the incident with McGee and the betrayal of the team. He had left to lead a team and he was returning as a Senior Field Agent. He had chosen the demotion but that wouldn't make the questions any easier. He wondered if anybody on the team even knew about Sofia. He had only spoken to Jimmy in years and he knew Jimmy didn't mention him much. The team had all tried to contact him after he first left but all calls and emails were ignored. He had actually accepted Abby's friend request but deleted it before she caught on. He was friends with McGee's wife Delilah but only because Delilah had grown up next door to Sofia's family and Tony knew her fairly well. Beyond that his only contact was with the Palmer's and Director Vance. Vance was mostly work related but Tony had talked to him a few times after Jackie. Tony had fought for years to keep the his past life from his new life, but today they were meeting full force. Whether he liked it our not. He was grateful he could at least get the kids off to school. Though he soon regretted that decision.

"Daadd! I don't need to ride the cripple bus! I can walk" Gavriella whined.

"I know Gavi but the aisles on the accessible buses are wider and I don't have to worry about kids shoving you or bullying you for being different." Tony explained.

"If you don't want me to be bullied then why don't you just home-school me?" Gavriella questioned.

"Gavi" Tony started.

"Hell why not just put me in a bubble while you're at it?!" Gavriella demanded.

"Don't say hell." Tony warned.

"Well why don't you just put me in a bubble! Since I am so fragile!" Gavriella snapped.

"It's hard for me Gavi." Tony sighed.

"I have to go. The cripple bus is here." Gavriella spat, before grabbing her bag and storming out of the house.

* * *

Tony wished that he could say that getting Carson off was easier but how could it be? Gavriella's bus arrived half an hour after Carson's. School's were pretty lenient with new students and tardiness but Carson had a history of being late. Tony was hoping to leave that habit behind in California. Unfortunately Carson was Carson and that meant a rushed morning for at best a five minute tardy.

"Carson Anthony! Wake up! You missed the bus! You missed shower and eating breakfast time! I have an instant breakfast and a pop-tart waiting for you! Get up now or you are going to be grounded!" Tony snapped.

"Come on dad one more day." Carson begged.

"Yesterday was the grace day, today you go to school and I go to work." Tony insisted.

"I heard the dork say something about homeschooling. Is that an option I can get on?" Carson asked.

"OK I will home-school you. Go put pants on, memorized the constitution in entirety by tomorrow. You have a week to read three Shakespeare novels no cliff's notes. You have a science fair project due at the end of the month. No volcanoes or does the plant respond better to this or that nonsense. Translate the song Bohemian Rhapsody to French and sing it over the PA in Walmart, fifty push-ups, fifty pull-ups fifty sit-ups, and a three mile run for physical education. You get a start on that while I go and print you three hundred and sixty-four trigonometry problems. Oh and the only girl you see for the next three years is your sister." Tony explained.

"Alright! I'll go to school!" Carson cried.

* * *

Tony made a mental note to remember the home-school threat and pray it worked again down the road. He also went to work on Gavriella's nightmare scenario for when she hit the teenage years. Which unfortunately was coming way too fast. Tony thought of the damsel in distress movie scenes that featured a woman tied to a train track with the train coming on at full-speed. He dropped Carson off at the school. Carson called him Mr. Antonio and told a bleach blonde with double DD cups, that he was his driver. Tony laughed and loudly announced he would pick him up later. He almost threw in master bates but didn't feel like dealing with that bullshit later on. He drove to NCIS and explained to the director why he was late. Lucky for Tony the director was also father to a teenage son and fully understood.

"So I am set?" Tony asked.

"Your official ID's will be in, in five days. You can use your LA credentials in the interim. The bullpen is where you remember it." Vance explained.

"Anything else?" Tony questioned.

"Good luck" Vance replied.

* * *

Tony slowly made his way down to the old bullpen. Not much had changed in the years that he had been gone. Gibbs and McGee's desks were still the same. Except McGee now had a picture of Delilah and their twins Penelope and John. Tony's former desk was empty but Tony had plans to cover it with his stapler and photographs of his family. The fourth desk that had belonged to Kate and then Agent Philips, now had an Israeli flag and an American flag. There were also a series of photographs and a figurine of a small boy in a wheelchair. Only McGee and Gibbs occupied their desks. Ducky stood beside Gibbs and Abby popped out from behind the desk. Tony knew that Jimmy would not be there today. He had a nasty stomach virus. The same one that had delayed the DiNozzo's move by a week.

"Welcome back!" The group cried in unison.

"It's good to be back." Tony lied.

"Look Tony I am sorry about everything." McGee apologized.

"Can we just leave the incident in the past?" Tony asked.

"He's just trying to apologize!" Abby snapped.

"I know and I am grateful but I just want this to be over. My life has been hard the past few years. I have only come back for my children. Let's just start over, one hundred percent. We are brand new teammates." Tony explained.

"Hello Agent DiNozzo, I am your supervisory agent, Jethro Gibbs." Gibbs introduced.

"I am Junior Agent Timothy McGee." McGee said.

"Forensic Specialist Abigail Scuito." Abby added.

"Senior Medical Examiner Donald Mallard." Ducky declared.

"I don't like long names Jethro you will be Gibbs or Boss, Timothy you will be McGee, Abigail will be Abby, and Dr. Mallard shall be Ducky." Tony replied.

"There is one more person you haven't met." Gibbs commented.

"I know Jimmy met him in LA a few years back." Tony replied.

"Well that is good but I was referring to your third teammate, Ziva David." Gibbs explained.

"Where is she? Will she be in later?" Tony asked.

"She will be out for a few days at least. Her son has the stomach flu." Gibbs explained.

"Poor kid" Tony whispered.

* * *

Ziva groaned as she studied her phone. She had to be at the doctor with John in half an hour and the nurse had just called to say her car had a flat. Poppy was normally extremely punctual. So Ziva forgave her. Even though it complicated her afternoon. She was counting on Poppy. The school had called and said they wanted Juliana to see the county psychologist. Of course the appointments were at the same time. She wanted to move John's appointment but the last time she did that John ended up rushed away in an ambulance. She could change Juliana's appointment time but the county psychologist was impossibly hard to reschedule with and this was Juliana's shot at free or at least affordable therapy.

"I don't need a shrink." Juliana insisted.

"The school says you do. It could reduce your suspension." Ziva explained.

"But John is sick." Juliana argued.

"I know but you matter too." Ziva insisted.

"What are you going to do then?" Juliana asked.

"I am going to take John to the doctor and ideally Poppy will meet me there. I am sure that Tiffany's mom will drive you over. Tiffany sees Dr. Ferris too." Ziva explained.

"Tiffany is a bitch. You should hear the things she says about Travis." Juliana groaned.

"Some people have a harder time coping with a special needs sibling but that is a moot point. You need to see Dr. Ferris as much as John needs to see Dr. Howell." Ziva insisted.

"Fine" Juliana sighed.

* * *

 **A/N: Will the team respect Tony's wishes? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	6. Getting Through

It was nothing short of a miracle that the DiNozzo's made it through their first week in their new home. From Tony's struggles with his first days at work. To both DiNozzo children ending up in detention and Tony being called to both schools. Carson for announcing his phone number over the PA system, and Gavriella for mouthing off to a teacher who felt it best she sit in the front row. Things weren't exactly great at home either. The children were fighting like cats and dogs, and Tony ended up down with the stomach flu. Both kids were grounded and Tony had to keep dragging himself out of bed to deal with their issues. He almost vomited on Carson's principal and did throw up on the lawn of Gavriella's school. At least she didn't see it and the principal just said somebody had gotten sick. He tried to ignore the fights until he absolutely had to intervene. He had to get out of bed, rush out of the house, and relive terror. When Carson managed to catch Beefaroni on fire. Apparently at almost sixteen years old. The teen did not yet understand that metal and microwave don't mix. The family got lucky, in the sense that they only lost the microwave and an ugly table. Tony had been wanting to burn anyway. Needless to say after the fire Carson's sentence was doubled and Tony was wondering if he were cursed.

* * *

Tony considered it a blessing that Carson's bus driver was hot. He knew that objectifying woman was wrong but he would do anything to get the teen out the door on time. Gavriella was still having problems with her bus. In that she hated it. She continually insisted that she did not need the bus and maybe she didn't but Tony still felt more comfortable with her on the modified bus. Monday morning Tony was dealing with both kids missing the bus. Carson because the hot bus driver was at her brother's wedding and Gavriella because she fought so much that the bus just left without her. Carson was already late and so was Tony. According to McGee's text, they had a case and the crime scene was a nasty one. Tony could imagine what that meant and it was pleasant compared to what he was enduring. Both children were screaming at him for the entire drive.

"I hat the cripple bus! I hate it! The aide always helps you up and it takes forever!" Gavriella snapped.

"Have you told the aide that you can stand on your own?" Tony asked.

"She doesn't listen!" Gavriella snapped.

"I will talk to the driver tomorrow." Tony replied.

"I don't see why I am grounded. They let the new kids make morning and afternoon announcements, and everybody said it was funny!" Carson screamed.

"You broke school rules. Any special announcements have to be approved by the office and no personal information is to be distributed via any school media be it over the PA system, on the news program, or posted to any school social media." Tony reminded.

"Well that's stupid." Carson scoffed.

"They had students be stalked and have inappropriate meetings with staff. It is a safety policy." Tony explained.

"It's still stupid, school is stupid." Carson scoffed.

"This coming from somebody who thought he could heat a metal can in the microwave." Gavriella scoffed.

"Shut up quadruped!" Carson hissed.

"Hormonal tube sock." Gavriella shot back.

"Enough! Both of you!" Tony bellowed.

"Tyrant" Carson whispered.

"I was just defending myself." Gavriella insisted.

"Five minutes. We have five minutes left and I am would just love it if in those five minutes, you two could refrain from yelling at each other or me." Tony begged.

"Only if you tell Carson to be such a pig." Gavriella scoffed.

"I will stop being a pig when you stop being annoying." Carson rebutted.

"You guys had better pray you catch the bus from now on. Because I am never driving you to school again." Tony warned, even though he knew he would never stick to that threat.

* * *

The team was still gone by the time Tony arrived to the bullpen. The way his morning was going. He was half tempted to see if Gibbs still kept the flask in his desk. Instead he approached McGee's desk hoping the pudgy agent still kept a small candy store in his desk. Instead he found healthy snacks and Stevia packets. Tony knew from Delilah's pictures that McGee had lost a great deal of weight but Tony was still hopeful. He started towards Gibbs' desk but thought better of it and the other desk didn't seem very promising. Sighing he fell into his own chair and gulped down his coffee. He had just tossed the can when the elevator door slid open and Tony got the first glimpse of his third teammate.

* * *

Ziva was finally back at work after a week long hiatus. John had been sick for five long days, halfway through Juliana went down, and just when Ziva thought it was over. She was riddled by the virus. Thankfully she was only down for one day and Poppy kept a still weak John at her home. After the virus had finally left the David family. Ziva was finally able to return to work. She still wasn't one hundred percent but after only being home and at various doctor's offices. She was beyond relieved to be back at work. She swallowed an anti nausea pill and took one last swig off of her Gatorade. Before stepping off of the elevator and into the bullpen. Sitting at Tavers' desk, was the man she never thought she would see again. At least not outside of occasional meetings in the neighborhood.

"Tony?" Ziva gasped.

"Ziva?" Tony replied.

"They said the new guy was named Tony but I didn't think it was you." Ziva commented.

"You two know each other?" McGee gasped, returning to the bullpen.

"Tony lives a few blocks away from me. He helped me out when John had some trouble the other night." Ziva explained.

"He's married you know. His wife came back to him after everything." Jethro announced.

"Actually no I am not." Tony replied.

"So she divorced you anyway? Can't say I blame her. I saw the way you looked at Kate. I guess she saw too." McGee commented.

"We didn't get divorced. I...I am a widower." Tony announced.

* * *

 **A/N: I will reveal Sofia's cause of death in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	7. Stunned

After the incident the rest of the day seemed to drag by. McGee kept pretty quiet after his comment. Though he did apologize profusely and agreed to pay for Tony's lunch. Gibbs offered Tony his sympathies and reminded him that his basement was always open. Ziva was furious and spent an hour muttering under her breath about McGee's big mouth. Tony bolted as soon as Gibbs dismissed them for the night. So far their petty officer was the only victim and it seemed to be pretty cut and dry. The officer had numerous complaints of sexual harassment and assault. He was under investigation for the rape and eventual suicide of a fellow officer. The rape victims husband was the lead suspect. Based on the widowers social media posts. He didn't care if he lived or died and Tony couldn't say that he blamed him. He had to fight not to give up after Sofia and her death was peaceful compared to the death of Officer Clarke. Tony prayed that Mr. Clarke would be let off easy and get the help he needed.

* * *

Tony returned home to a rare moment of peace between his children. They sat on opposite ends of the coffee table. Carson had a math book open and Gavriella was looking over a half answered work-sheet. For once Carson was antagonizing his sister for being smart. He was actually seeming to care about the problems.

"The answer to number thirteen is ninety-four. You actually got ninety-three but the ink is smudged and the nine looks like an eight." Gavriella explained.

"I doubt Mr. Callahan will take that excuse." Carson scoffed.

"Just change the three to a four and we are done." Gavriella replied.

"Why is this so easy for you but hard for me?" Carson asked

"Largely because you don't try." Gavriella replied.

"I know I am lazy and you are a genius." Carson scoffed.

"Carson most of these are right and at least close. Why because you tried. Yeah you may not get a perfect score but you can bump up your grades." Gavriella explained.

"Believe it or not! It's not that easy for me!" Carson snapped.

"Carson, I..." Gavriella started.

"Save it nerd!" Carson spat.

* * *

Tony knew that the peace would not last long but he was hoping it would have lasted longer than it had. He also knew that Gavriella had not meant to hurt Carson's feelings. His children were brain and brawn. Carson was a star athlete but struggled in school. He had once admitted that he wished he could be smart. Gavriella on the other hand was a genius but her muscles were not as strong as she would like. She regularly remarked that she yearned to be as strong and fast as her brother. Tony desperately wished that his children could be everything they wanted but Dyslexia and ADD had hindered Carson's brain. As much as Cerebral Palsy hindered Gavriella's muscles.

"I really didn't mean to hurt his feelings." Gavriella insisted.

"I know but your brother is as sensitive about his brain as you are about your body." Tony explained.

"Why is Carson the way he is. I know that I am the way I am because I was early and I got tangled in the cord. So why does Carson have his problems?" Gavriella asked.

"It's his physiology. Truth be told I have wondered if I don't have the same issues as your brother. I struggled a lot too." Tony explained.

"I wish I could help him. I really want him to do well." Gavriella commented.

"Sometimes it's hard to accept help from family. That being said I can see about getting Carson into a tutoring program. That will really help him." Tony explained.

* * *

By the weekend the case was wrapped. Mr. Clarke had surrendered himself to police and was currently in the care of psychiatric hospital. Tony was glad things had ended the way they did. With Mr. Clarke getting help. He was even more relieved that both children seemed happier. Carson had found a new garage band to make noise with and Gavriella had made a new friend on the bus. A girl on the autism spectrum by the name of Cat Feldmen. She hated riding the handicapped bus as much as Gavriella but her parents had similar concerns to Tony's. He knew the happiness would not last long. Whether he liked it or not he was raising two teenagers. Gavriella would not hit eleven in six weeks but girls became teenagers around the time they stopped using diapers. They actually became adults somewhere in the twenties. Boys held off on teenager-hood until their ages actually ended with teen but they didn't come out until somewhere around thirty.

* * *

Both kids were out and Tony did not know what to do with himself. Carson was at band practice and Gavriella had gone to the science museum with Cat and her parents. Finally Tony decided to get a little sunshine. He grabbed his wallet and keys of the table and headed out the door. He found himself walking around several blocks. Until he was drawn to a house with a wheelchair ramp out front. A large handicapped accessible van was parked in the drive. The driveway was twice the size of any other in the neighborhood. He was studying the house when he heard a loud honk. He jumped out of the way and a familiar car turned into the drive. Jimmy stepped out and headed for the door but stopped when he saw Tony.

"Tony? What are you doing here?" Jimmy asked.

"I was just staring I guess. What are you doing here." Tony asked.

"Ziva lives here." Jimmy replied.

"Really?" Tony asked.

"Yes, her nurse has that stomach bug that's been going around and Juliana has a soccer game. So I am going to watch John." Jimmy explained.

"How is John doing?" Tony asked.

"A lot better but he is still weak or else Ziva would have just brought him along." Jimmy explained.

* * *

Before either man could say another word or take another step the peace was interrupted by the scream of a siren. An ambulance swung around the corner, raced up the street, and screeched to a halt in front of the house. The paramedics leaped out and raced into the house. Moments later they rushed out carrying John on a stretcher. He was blue and shaking violently. Ziva and Juliana came rushing out behind the medics.

"What happened?" Tony asked.

"He's been congested since getting out of the hospital. He started having big seizures last night and today he could not breathe and this seizure is going on an hour." Ziva explained.

"I would say double pneumonia." Juliana called.

* * *

 **A/N: Tony gets a glimpse of Ziva's personal life in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	8. Guilt

Tony stood frozen on Ziva's lawn. He had no idea what to do or what to say. His heart was racing out of his chest as he watched the paramedics worked on John. Jimmy was talking to the paramedics. Ziva was crying and Juliana stood frozen on the lawn. Tony wished that he had never taken that walk and that he had never come to this yard. The paramedics loaded John into the back of the ambulance and Ziva climbed in behind him. Juliana started to climb on board but was stopped by one of the paramedics.

"Sorry only one person is allowed to ride with the patient and besides you have to be at least sixteen. To ride along." The paramedic explained.

"I am sixteen" Juliana hissed.

"It would be better if your mom went." The paramedic insisted.

"I'll drive you, Juliana." Jimmy replied gently.

"OK" Juliana agreed.

* * *

Juliana jumped into the back of Jimmy's car and the pair followed close behind the ambulance. Tony climbed into his own car and followed behind Jimmy. The drive to the hospital brought back the memories of the night Sofia went into the hospital. Sofia was his wife and John was Ziva's son but very little topped that fear. He pulled into the hospital's parking lot, jumped out and raced to the reception desk.

"I am looking for a John David" Tony announced.

"He was just brought in. From what I heard he is going to get some tests run and then he his going straight to the PICU." The receptionist explained.

* * *

Ziva's heart raced as she sat in the hospital's waiting room. She had lost count of the number of times she had waited for tests in a hospital or doctor's office but it never got any easier. Knowing that her son could die at any time was a nightmare. Knowing that every procedure, medication, and treatment was just a stall of the inevitable. The same could be said about anyone who had ever lived. It just didn't seem fair that eight years old was a miracle and nine seemed almost impossible. Juliana sat beside her actually off her phone and not talking about soccer. Jimmy and Tony were on the next couch over. They were waiting but they would not hear anything until the David's passed the information on. Ziva looked over and noticed how fearful Tony was.

"Mother of John David?" A doctor called.

* * *

The doctor's office was tiny and cramped. The walls were a sickly gray and the lights buzzed and flickered. Before one finally burned out. It fully expressed Ziva's mood. Beside her Juliana was shaking and crying her eyes out. The doctor stepped into the room and took a seat behind the desk. He opened a file whistled, closed the file, looked up at Ziva, rubbed his head, and then reopened the file.

"I am sorry, Mrs. David." Dr. Miller started.

"How bad is it?" Ziva asked.

"John has double pneumonia and bacterial meningitis. He is very critical. As of now I would say ten percent but the next forty-eight hours are critical." Dr. Miller explained.

* * *

Tony looked up as Ziva stepped through the double doors. She had tears in her eyes and Juliana was sobbing heavily into her mother's neck. The two David's walked over to where Tony was seated. Jimmy had to get home to help Breena with something. Leaving Tony alone to get an update on the youngest David.

"How is John?" Tony asked.

"He has pneumonia and meningitis. He is very critical and the next forty-eight hours are crucial. His chances are horrible." Ziva explained.

* * *

John's hospital room was eerily dark. Ziva looked down at her only son. She hated that he was this sick. She hated that she only got about twenty minutes with him. Before she would have to be kicked out. She hated that her son was probably going to die and if he lived. He could regress farther than he already had been. She would give just about anything to take his place and knew that Juliana felt the same way. Ziva sat in the darkness and held her son's hand. She lost track of time and reality. She was so far gone that she jumped a mile when a nurse knocked on the door.

"Mrs. David." Nurse Carrie called.

"What?" Ziva asked.

"It's been fifteen minutes and Juliana is anxious to get back here." Carrie replied.

"I'll be right out." Ziva whispered.

* * *

Ziva hastily exited John's room and whispered good luck to her daughter. She returned to the waiting room. Where Tony had remained. She had met Tony twice and yet here he was. He had been sitting in that same spot for hours. Waiting for news just the same as her and Juliana.

"How is he?" Tony asked.

"He's really sick." Ziva replied.

"I am sorry." Tony apologized.

"Don't apologize. I am used to it. My son has spent more of his life in the hospital than out. Even when he is home he is sick more than when he is well." Ziva explained.

"I am sorry to hear that." Tony apologized.

"I hate this!" Ziva cried.

"I am sure that he will pull through." Tony offered.

"He might this time but what about next time or the next time? He has more medical complications than I can count. Every year I hear the same thing. "He won't last another year." and it's not that they don't care. They do but he is just so sick. I hate it. I hate that there are days I pray for my son to die. I hate that he suffers every day of his life. I hate that I wish I had known all of this before he was born. So I could have gotten an abortion and spared him. If he were just retarded or paralyzed or even both I could handle that but he is so sick. There is no hope. There are only stalls. How many more stalls do we have?" Ziva rambled.

"As many as John needs." Tony replied.

* * *

Knowing how sick John was and how fragile, put a fear and guilt into Tony's heart. Gavriella had Cerebral Palsy but for the most part she was as healthy as a horse. She had been in the hospital three times not including her birth but only once was a result of her disease or at least associated with it. She had pneumonia when she was two. The other two times were appendicitis when she was five and when she broke her foot when she was seven. That was not because of Cerebral Palsy however that was because of a teasing older brother and an exposed root. She only need surgery because she hid the injury for two days. So that she would not have to leave camp early. Gavriella was amazingly healthy and strong. Tony was always relieved by that but now it left him feeling guilty. It hurt to know she was healthy but John was nowhere near to as lucky. By the time Tony got home the ten year old was already fast asleep. Tony walked into her room and sat down beside her bed. He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her on the forehead.

"What?" Gavriella asked.

"I am just glad that you are well." Tony replied, wiping away a steady stream of tears.

* * *

 **A/N: An emotional night for both Tony and Ziva. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading**


	9. Worry

Ziva spent the night at the hospital with John. It took a major fight and the promise of hourly texts. To convince Juliana to go home. Sending Juliana home was never easy but the teen did not need to be lying around the hospital. At least now Juliana was old enough to stay on her own or could at least make her own arrangements. Still Ziva missed Dan being alive and being able to trade off nights at the hospital. She missed knowing Juliana would have at least family member home with her. The night seemed to drag by and by morning John was not any better. If anything he was worse. It never got any easier to see her son with a tube shoved down his throat. It was just after eight, visiting hours had just started and the doctor had just arrived to give the morning update.

"All can say is there is no change. It is good because he has not regressed but it is bad because he has not improved. He really needs to turn the corner soon. If not. I really do not know what to say. He's been through a lot in his eight years and he is only so strong." Dr. Miller explained.

* * *

Tony shuddered at the sight of Ziva's empty desk. Given the state of John's condition, he was not expecting her to be there but he was hoping. Hoping that there was a misdiagnosis with John and the child was not so gravely ill. He had wanted to go by the hospital for an update but he didn't have time by the time he got the kids out the door. He figured if he didn't hear any updates, he would give Ziva a call on his break.

"Kid isn't doing well at all. The way Ziva worded it there may not be much time; McGee, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy, and I are going to try to head to the hospital in a bit." Gibbs explained.

"Room for one more?" Tony asked.

"Lovely just go and hit on her at her child's hospital bed. Have you no class Anthony DiNozzo? You disgusting pig." McGee spat.

"Ziva is my friend." Tony reminded.

"You barely know her." McGee argued.

"I'm going to see if Palmer knows anything." Tony scoffed.

* * *

By lunch John was not doing any better. The doctors had not told Ziva outright that he was going to die but they weren't exactly optimistic either. John could survive but there wasn't much hope of him being the same. Illnesses took a lot out of him. There was a time when there was a degree of hope. He was in a really good therapy program and they were making progress. Then a sickness hit. It was a lot like this illness. He had pneumonia and he did not breathe on his own for over a week. He had been without oxygen for a while by the time Dan found him. He had damage that set him back to square one and by the time he was well enough to resume therapy he just could not recover. After this Ziva wasn't sure what to expect but she knew it would be disheartening.

"Come on baby boy. Please just come back to me. Please." Ziva begged.

* * *

Tony ended up staying back at the office while everybody else went to the hospital. Abby had a similar reaction to McGee and Ducky was not much better. Jimmy tried to advocate on Tony's behalf but it was not enough of an effort. He spent the time wandering around the bullpen. Vance came down and asked why he had stayed back. The director was pissed but he couldn't exactly do anything. Other than have a talk with McGee and Abby about attitude. By the time everybody arrived back it was too late to leave the office but Tony ended up going to the hospital after work let out. Ziva was speaking with John's doctor but Juliana was sitting in the waiting room.

"How's your brother?" Tony asked.

"Not good" Juliana replied.

"They know anything?" Tony asked.

"They won't tell us anything. It pisses me off. It's like just because he is not perfect they don't want to help him. Makes me sick." Juliana explained.

"I am sure they are trying their best." Tony offered.

"If they had tried their best eight years ago he would not be like this!" Juliana snapped.

"Juliana" Tony whispered.

"How can people be so OK with an eight year old being the way he is? He wasn't a criminal who deserved this. He was just a little kid." Juliana explained.

* * *

The talk with Dr. Miller left Ziva defeated. She was not expecting a miracle but she was at least hoping for some positive changes. Instead she just got her heart broken again. She knew that Juliana felt they just weren't trying but she knew that they were. There really was not a lot they could do for him. They had kept him alive eight years and maybe they could give him one more but how many more were left? She had heard so many different things. Dr. Miller kept saying one or two years but others had said six months or a full life. Ziva knew the full life thing was a lie. Not just because she wanted her son free of pain but because it seemed too good to be true. Like when John was a baby and they said he could live a semi normal life. When they promised walking and talking. When there was a chance they could create an esophagus and he could eat. Those were just dreams and so were any positive changes or hopes for her son's life.

"Ziva!" Tony called.

"Tony? Why didn't you come earlier?" Ziva asked.

"Long story. Do you know anything new?" Tony asked.

"No and I don't expect anything until it resolves itself. Either by John dying or by him recovering. That is how it is." Ziva explained.

"I can't imagine." Tony remarked.

"Gavriella has never been this sick?" Ziva asked.

"We got so lucky with her. That doesn't make it any less terrifying." Tony explained.

"Thanks for coming." Ziva replied.

"No problem and sorry about earlier. I really wanted to come with the others." Tony replied.

"McGee?" Ziva asked.

"McGee" Tony confirmed.

* * *

 **A/N: At least Ziva is trying with Tony. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	10. Emotional

It took three weeks but the DiNozzo's were finally settling in to their new lives. Gavriella was now riding in a carpool with her friend Cat and a couple other neighborhood kids and Carson was actually making decent grades for the first time since elementary school. Tony was adapting to his new job and getting on well with the Probie temporarily assigned to the team. He was talking to Gibbs more and spending a great deal of time with Jimmy. As far as McGee and Abby went he would greet them in the morning and bid them farewell at night. Other than that he only acknowledged them when he absolutely had to.

* * *

John David unfortunately remained in the hospital. He got out of the ICU after a week and spent another three days in the regular ward but took a nasty turn on the day he was supposed to be released. He remained in Intensive Care. Tony went by the hospital every day for at least a few minutes. Ziva had aged fifty years since the stay. She was only bathing every other day and had only washed her hair twice since John was admitted. Juliana was not doing much better. She spent her evenings at the hospital and was crashing on the couch of a friend who lived nearby. Tony tried to either bring a home cooked meal by every day and if he couldn't he would have something ordered to the hospital. The truth was Tony was in love with Ziva. He didn't want to say it when her child was fighting for his life and he certainly did not want to say it when his own children were finally adjusting. Gavriella barely remembered her mom but Carson had many times begged him never to date again. He knew he couldn't let the children dictate his life but things were finally working out.

* * *

Tony returned from work and headed for the kitchen. The team had just wrapped the case they had been working for over a week and Gibbs had dismissed them early. He had four hours until visiting hours ended at the hospital but he could see Ziva anytime in the family lounge. Many of their interactions were early morning or late at night when Tony either had just left the office or was getting ready to come in early. Today he was planning a special meeting with Ziva to treat her to a semi traditional Seder dinner. He was so frazzled by everything he could not remember if the holiday had actually passed or not but he knew the basic set up thanks to many a weekend being spent in the home of his Jewish roommate Daniel. He could not do all the traditions but he could at least give Ziva the meal.

"Whatever that is smells gross. Please tell me you are making some health dinner for the geek and you and I are going to Burgers, Booze, and Boobs." Carson pleaded.

"One not until you are eighteen. Two this is a Seder dinner for Ziva and Juliana and three we are having Broccoli Casserole." Tony explained.

"Maybe August Twenty ninth is reverse leap year and I am already eighteen." Carson snarked.

"No such thing now go collect your sister from Angie's house. We will be eating at seven thirty. Be ready to eat broccoli casserole or pay for your own meal." Tony explained.

"Fine" Carson sighed.

* * *

Ziva unwrapped her meager sandwich. She had just shelled out three hundred dollars to get Juliana new eye glasses. Her daughter had needed glasses when she was small but for many years had only required reading glasses. That's what the optometrist had told her for the past seven years and that's what Ziva had thought worked. Until getting an urgent call from the nurse that Juliana was in desperate need of real glasses. A program from the school covered the exam. Unfortunately the lenses prescription was far more expensive than Ziva had anticipated and due to Juliana being so athletic they chose to pay extra for the sports frames. Ziva was already broke from the mounting medical bills for John and now this. She didn't know what she was going to do. Juliana had chipped in fifty dollars for the glasses and that was a huge help but it was not near enough. Families got three free meals a day but Ziva had given her dinner credit to Juliana. She managed to scrape together enough money to pay for a disgusting sandwich from the gas station across the street.

"That cannot be your dinner." Tony commented.

"I don't have enough money for anything better. I am lucky I could afford this old sandwich. Juliana needs glasses and I found out John may need a tracheostomy. That's weeks more in the PICU and then constant specialized care. Our nurse isn't vent trained." Ziva explained sobbing heavily.

"You know I make sure you get dinner every night." Tony replied handing her the containers.

"What is this?" Ziva asked.

"A Seder dinner. I am so frazzled by the case I am not sure if I have the date right but I used to go home with my roommate all the time and went to several Seders." Tony explained.

"Well this can't be traditional and the Seder was two days ago. That being said this is the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time and while I haven't kept Kosher in years these are still some of my favorites." Ziva explained wiping away tears.

"I just wanted to help you out." Tony replied.

* * *

Ziva could not fall asleep, there was so much on her mind. She had some major decisions to make regarding John. Bright and early in the morning she would literally be choosing life or death for her son. Put him through a risky medical procedure that would further complicate every bodies lives or remove him from the ventilator and let nature take it's course? John's mounting medical concerns were not the only thing on her mind. Tony had been on her mind since the day she met him. He had a heart of gold and was handsome to boot. She wanted ask him out but she did not know how to do it. What was she supposed to do? "Hey my kid is in the ICU and a machine will be breathing for him for the rest of his life but do you want to go out sometime?" Tony was too much of a family man to fall for that one. Maybe she was better alone. Better without a man who would be forever bound by her demons and John's lifelong suffering. John would die far too young with or without the trach. Without they said days to weeks. With the trach no more than two years. Her son was dying and she wished desperately it could be her instead.

* * *

 **A/N What will it take for Tony and Ziva to confess their feelings? What will Ziva decide for John? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	11. The Choice

Morning came and Ziva was faced with the hardest decision she would ever have to make. Prolong John's life with a ventilator or let him die. She had called the school to let them know Juliana would not be in that day. She had decided it would be best for everybody if Juliana were involved in the process. Even if Juliana could not handle helping with the decision. It was best that Juliana were at the hospital. If she chose to forgo the trach then John would most likely be removed from life support that afternoon. If Ziva chose to allow the surgery it would take place that afternoon. It was rushed but John was actually stable for a minute and there was an open slot. The stress was killing Ziva and she would give anything to have Daniel around to make the final decision. She would give anything to have ANYONE around to make the final decision. Choices like this should not have to fall to a widowed young mom and her teenage daughter.

"So basically without the trach he will come off of life-support and perish within a few hours to a few days." Ziva explained.

"And with?" Juliana asked.

"His body will be able to sustain until well until his heart gives out." Ziva replied.

"So in either case John dies? There's really nothing left?" Juliana asked.

"No Juliana, remember how we discussed his heart was failing him and he would live as long as he did? He is not a candidate for a transplant." Ziva explained.

"But the trach could give us another year or two?" Juliana asked.

"There is a chance but more than likely he will not last that long. Juliana his body is failing. We can extend his time but everything we have done since birth has been an extension." Ziva explained.

"I want him to have the surgery. I know it's just an extension but I want more time with him. I want him to see my prom dress. I want a chance of him being at my graduation. Who knows maybe in that time there will be a miracle cure and I will finally have the little brother I always wanted." Juliana explained.

"That won't happen." Ziva replied.

* * *

Juliana had kind of insisted on the surgery but Ziva was still on the fence. She knew that her daughter wanted only for her brother to live as long as possible. That was what Ziva wanted too but the surgery carried so many risks. For starters there was a huge chance that John would succumb to complications. It was a highly risky procedure to begin with but John was high risk for even a minor procedure. Between his heart and his tendency to hemorrhage. The odds were not exactly in his favor. Not wanting a fight Ziva had told Juliana that she would think about it. She would think about it but she was also thinking of ways to explain to Juliana she had decided against it. Feeling desperately alone she called the only other person she could talk to in a situation like this.

* * *

Tony was in the bullpen when the call came in, ironically his eyes were fixated on Ziva's desk. When he first read the name he was sure that he was just seeing things. He answered the phone expecting to hear any other voice besides Ziva's. He was sure she would be talking to doctors or spending as much time as possible with John. He was shocked, terrified, and relieved when he heard that it was Ziva after all.

"Tony? Are you free?"

"Yeah we are just hanging out. No cases and another team is using the gym."

"Can you get to the hospital right away?"

"The hospital? Is something wrong?"

"I just need you. I need you now."

"I will be right there."

* * *

Tony had never driven so fast in his entire life. Not even the day Sofia had called and said she had gone into premature labor. OK maybe those days were tied in speed but he was scared to death nonetheless. He feared arriving to the hospital and having to talk Ziva through the loss of her son. He had only had the privilege of meeting John once but he seemed like a sweet kid. Juliana was a devoted big sister who wanted only for her brother to thrive and Ziva was a loving mother just trying to hold her family together. He had promised Ziva that he would be there but he did not know if he could handle that much. How was he supposed to help a family mourning a child? He had barely gotten through the loss of his second daughter and those were far different circumstances. Tragic and impossible to handle but different. He arrived to the hospital and was sure his fears were confirmed. When he found Ziva sobbing heavily in the waiting room.

"Ziva! What happened?" Tony cried.

"I have half an hour to decide about the surgery." Ziva replied.

"What do you want to do? What would be best for John?" Tony asked.

"I want him to live a little longer and that's what Juliana wants. As far as John goes. Well either choice is about the same." Ziva explained.

"The surgery carries risks but it gives you more time. Not doing surgery takes him away any time now but there are no risks. Either case he is going to die young. Juliana and you have been through a lot the past two years. The past eight. Both options have pros and cons but I think you need the extra time. I think Juliana needs it and I know you do." Tony explained.

"But what if he dies in or after surgery?" Ziva asked.

"I cannot answer that. I cannot even give you the answer about what to do. Just do what you think is right. I know you wanted help but Ziva. Whatever happens, whatever you chose John lived an amazing life." Tony explained.

"I want the surgery. I want more time. I want his suffering to end but I am not ready. How could you ever be ready?" Ziva asked.

"You can't but take this second chance and cherish every extra second you get." Tony insisted.

* * *

 **A/N: Naturally Tony will be by Ziva's side during the wait. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	12. Procedure

John was taken back for surgery late the following afternoon. They had wanted to do it as soon as Ziva gave approval but an emergency arose with another patient and John had to be pushed back. There was a scare when John spiked a fever during the night but thankfully it broke after only an hour and the surgery was able to go as planned. Tony left early to be by Ziva's side while she waited.

* * *

Tony had hated hospitals his entire life. He had come into the world about a month premature and spent his first two weeks in the NICU. Unfortunately while he was a mostly healthy child his hospital stays did not end there. When he was about three he had surgery to correct a deformity in his sinuses. Then when he was six he had his appendix taken out. That was by far the worst personal experience until he had the plague. Two years later his mother died in the hospital. After that day Tony did all he could to avoid hospitals and doctors. His beloved nanny died begging for him because he was so afraid and Tony lived with that guilt for years. Less than a month after his nanny died Tony ended up in the hospital by Karma or as a realist would call it Brad Pitt breaking his leg in the Michigan game. Once he was released to out patient rehab he returned to his hospital streak. He remained out of the hospital for three years. Until the fateful day in Peoria that his squad car met with a tree. He thought he was OK but ended up rushed to the hospital after collapsing in the squad room. Turns out he had a concussion. That stay was not so bad. Because he was treated by the hot nurse every boy dreamed of and seven years later he was back in the hospital. Except this time Sofia was the patient and it was the happiest of circumstances. They had just welcomed Carson into the world. Unfortunately three years later Tony was being treated for the plague. Fast forward two years and another blessed event led to seven weeks as parents of a NICU baby. Fast forward another five years and Tony faced his greatest tragedy in the hospital. Ever since the day he held Sofia and Faith in his arms as they took their final breaths just hours apart. He hated hospitals more than ever. He had to fight to stay when Gavriella had her foot surgery and again when Carson had his tonsils out. Again today he was struggling but stayed because he knew that Ziva needed his support. He had a hard time feeling fear when the second strongest woman he had ever met sat crying and praying for her son to live.

"Is this the right decision? He is dying either way. Why put him through all this?" Ziva asked.

"Because deep down you know that both you and Juliana need these extra months to prepare for the inevitable. This will also give extra time to plan a funeral. I know it sounds bleak but I also know you want to give John the best. These extra few months may be as good for him as they are for you and Juliana." Tony explained.

"I will never be ready." Ziva admitted.

"I know but just know you are not alone." Tony assured.

* * *

For Ziva the wait seemed interminable. Every sound she heard and every time a frazzled doctor entered the room she was sure something had gone wrong. Tony was by her side but Juliana could not handle the stress and ended up going back to the house where she was staying. Seeing Juliana break and having to call her temporary guardians to come collect her was a great ordeal. It took three hours and Ziva struggled through every minute of the wait. She collapsed into Tony's arms when the surgeon. Finally arrived to tell her how the procedure had gone.

"John came through the procedure as well as to be expected. He will be in recovery for a while due to his risk of bleeding and will be in the ICU for at least two more weeks. He will remain in the hospital until he can be transitioned to a home ventilator and still he will need some time to make sure he is stable. During that time you and your daughter will be trained in caring for his new needs." Dr. Jones explained.

"What if he does not remain stable on the home vent? Or I cannot get the hang of caring for him properly?" Ziva asked.

"He will spend his final days in a care facility." Dr. Jones replied.

"I knew I made a mistake!" Ziva cried.

"He will do great on the vent and you will be great. I will learn too and that will take some pressure off." Tony vowed.

* * *

Three hours after the procedure Ziva and Tony were in John's hospital room. Juliana had returned to the hospital but ended up leaving to get her old iPod from the house. John was not waking up as quickly as the doctors had hoped and Juliana had hoped that one of the songs would keep him fighting the way it had when he was younger. Ziva was still a wreck and Tony had forced Carson to cook dinner so he could remain by her side. They shed tears and united in prayer. Tony prayed on the Rosary his grandmother had given him for his first communion and Ziva taught him the Hebrew prayer she had prayed over John from the day she learned his heart was defective. They were bonded and the words were not needed. It was far from a happy revelation of love but life was rarely like the movies. Unfortunately sometimes it was like a bad soap opera and that's how the day of John's surgery went. Tony was just leaving to grab dinner before the kitchen closed and to check in on the kids when Ziva received a call. She returned from the nurses station pale as a ghost mumbling to herself about giving up and again collapsing into Tony's arms.

"What's wrong? Is Juliana OK?" Tony asked.

"Juliana is fine. It's… It's my house!" Ziva cried.

"Your house? What happened?" Tony asked.

"We had a leak in the bathroom for months but we could never get it fixed. I tried but I just couldn't get it right and I couldn't afford repairs. Juliana went to get her iPod and the house was flooded. There's already mold everywhere. We have to wait for inspection but her friend's dad does repairs after water damage and he is sure it is a total loss. Even if it's not John can't be around the mold. We have to start over and I can't afford a new house. Not that can meet John's needs. The one I had could barely meet his needs and that would only be after a few serious renovations. Now I don't know what I am going to do." Ziva sobbed,

"Don't worry about it. We have a den we never use that would be perfect for John. It was supposed to be Gavriella's room but she insisted on sleeping upstairs. You can stay in the guest room and Juliana can share with Juliana." Tony explained.

"Oh I could never do that. I could never intrude on you." Ziva argued.

"It is not an intrusion. We were given an apartment after our house burned down and I am a strong believer in paying it forward." Tony insisted.

"I guess it's better than trying our luck with the shelter of a roadside motel until we can get back on our feet. Especially with John's health." Ziva mulled.

"We have the extra rooms for you and John and I am sure Gavriella would not mind sharing with Juliana." Tony assured.

"Actually I would prefer to sleep downstairs with John. He needed so much care before the tracheostomy. Daniel and I just knocked down the wall between our room and the walk in closet and made a room for him. Juliana can have the guest room." Ziva explained.

"Sounds good to me." Tony replied.

"Tony DiNozzo you are an angel. I wish that McGee and Abby could see this side of you. Instead of the twisted and perverted side they created. You saved my family and I will always love you for that." Ziva explained, tears freely falling from her eyes.

* * *

 **A/N: Tony's always looking out for Ziva. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	13. Changes

After an agonizing thirteen days John was finally moved from the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. To a room on the pulmonary floor. There were bumps along the road but John soon stabilized and coming home was finally on the horizon. Ziva had at least two weeks of training to before she could bring John home and John still had some recovering to do. Tony and Juliana had signed up for the vent care training as well. Juliana needed to know being as she was alone with John on a fairly regular basis. Tony was just learning because he wanted to do all he could for Ziva.

* * *

Tony watched intently as the nurse changed the trach in the throat of the practice dummy. After the tube was replaced she stepped aside and instructed Tony to do as she had just done. His hands trembled as he removed the tube from the plastic figure's throat. He was glad to step up and help Ziva and if they were going to be living with him. He really needed to know how to change a breathing tube. He just wished he didn't have the horrible memories, the guilt. If Sofia had lived this is how she would breathe and given how early Baby Faith had come. She likely would have been the same way at least for a little while. Carson had been five weeks early, so there was a chance Faith would have been born premature anyway. Sofia dying from pregnancy complications that was entirely his fault.

"Are you alright Mr. DiNozzo?" Nurse Jones asked.

"Fine, why do you ask?" Tony replied nervously.

"You just inserted the trach into Max's eye." Nurse Jones replied referring to the dummy by it's pet name.

"Sorry I was just distracted." Tony apologized.

"You can't be distracted when handling John's trach. How about we wrap for the day and you get some rest." Nurse Jones explained.

"Sounds good to me." Tony replied.

* * *

Ziva stared off into the horizon. God, she missed just being able to go outside. Physically she could leave the hospital but getting back into the PICU was such a production. She had to be buzzed in and then wash your hands with soap and top off with sanitizer. The pulmonary floor was not much better thanks to the tail end of flu season and a nasty spring cold going around. For that reason she only left the wards when it was absolutely necessary or times like now. When she just had to get out of the confines for a while. She had just received the call she had been dreading. Her home was a total loss and only a few small boxes were salvageable. Fifteen years of her life were gone, all her memories of Daniel. All of the children's lives. She could always make more memories with Juliana but who knew how much longer she had with John.

"Mom! Why are you crying? Is John OK?" Juliana cried.

"John is fine they moved him to the regular pulmonary ward." Ziva replied.

"Then what's wrong?" Juliana asked.

"The inspector called a while ago." Ziva replied.

"Is there anything they can do?" Juliana asked.

"The house is a total loss. They had three medium sized bins of stuff they could save. Everything else of ours. Everything else is gone." Ziva explained.

"My books? My soccer trophies? The ball dad gave me when John was first born and I was feeling left out?" Juliana asked.

"Three bins that's all they said." Ziva replied

"Why the hell do we even bother? John is dying no matter what we do and now all our memories are gone. Why the hell do I keep living?" Juliana rambled.

"Please don't talk like that Juliana." Ziva begged.

"It's just so unfair." Juliana sobbed.

"I know" Ziva agreed.

* * *

After being dismissed from vent care early. Tony went home to get a little work done on his house. With Ziva's home being a total loss. He needed to make his living room and spare bedroom as homey as possible for his guests. To his chagrin Carson had trashed the living room again and moved his junk into the guest bedroom. The children's reactions were mixed to say the least. Gavriella was ecstatic to have more girls in the house and to learn how to care for John. Carson on the other hand was furious about having extra people in the house and even more angry to have a profoundly disabled person living there. He refused to learn how to care for John and insisted the David's should live in a hotel.

"Are they moving in today?!" Gavriella cried as she passed the guest room.

"No I just want to get the junk out of here and get the room set up for Juliana." Tony explained.

"Can I decorate?" Gavriella asked.

"No I am going to let Juliana decorate. She lost her old room and I want this one to be as close as possible." Tony explained.

"Is she sad? I was sad when I lost my room." Gavriella recalled.

"She is very sad. That is why I am going to let her decorate her room how she wants." Tony explained.

"It's my game room. She cannot decorate it! I however can. Bad enough we are losing the den. Now I have to lose my game room! Unfair!" Carson snapped.

"It is the spare bedroom. I told you that you could keep your X-Box in here. Along with my desk, the guest bed, and Gavriella's photography equipment." Tony explained.

"And now it's going to be another girl room." Carson scoffed.

"Carson Anthony DiNozzo!" Tony warned.

"Fine I am sorry but I am still not happy. Anyway I have to go call Rochelle back." Carson explained.

"Rochelle? Your ex? The one who dumped you right before we moved?" Gavriella asked.

"Yes that's her. Now shut-up super nerd." Carson hissed.

"Carson" Tony warned.

"I'm leaving! I'm leaving!" Carson cried.

* * *

Carson slammed the door to his room and fell onto his bed. He hated that the David's were moving in, he hated that he would be expected to care for John and that Ziva would be taking over. He knew that she liked his dad and that he liked her. Juliana was OK. She was pretty hot actually but according to his friend Theodore and Theo's twin sister and his current girlfriend Theresa. She was a major lesbian. Even if that were bullshit, she was a total bitch. After calling and texting for a good half hour. He finally managed to get a hold of Rochelle.

" _Sorry I was at band. Hey shouldn't you be in class still?"_

" _I stayed home today. Sick."_

" _Sucks"_

" _Look Carson. I got some news today and I would really rather tell you in person. You still coming up for the summer?"_

" _Not sure. My grades are pretty good right now but a bunch of stuff isn't in yet and we don't take finals for another two weeks."_

" _Just let me know ASAP. If you can't get out here. No I don't want to call. I will fly out there. No. We could Facetime? No this needs to be in person. Look we will figure it out. Talk later."_

* * *

 **A/N: Any guesses on Rochelle's news? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	14. Reality

John was scheduled to be released from the hospital, the first day of summer vacation. He had come a long way but he was far from the boy he had been. He was sleeping fifteen to eighteen hours a day and spent most of his waking time crying out in pain. Ziva was left with a great feeling of guilt. Her son was suffering and she had forced a longer life on him. Tony was trying to keep her and Juliana afloat but he had his own problems to worry about. In the recent weeks Carson had grown distant and nervous. Tony suspected homesickness and when Carson's grades soared from a D average to a C average. Tony agreed to allow him to spend the month of June back home. Tony prayed the vacation would buoy his son as well as give his daughter a few weeks without a teasing older brother.

* * *

The idea of leaving the hospital was bitter-sweet for Ziva. This place had been her home the past couple of months. She had rarely left the walls and leaving the campus was an even more rare occurrence. She had grown close to the other PICU and extended stay parents. She had celebrated when children were released and wept with parents when the children departed for the last ever time. Ziva ached knowing that very soon she would be one of those parents. That there was a far too good chance that the next time John left the hospital. It would be for the last time. She knew he would be freed of the pain but she could not even think about it without crying.

"Congratulations!" Sophie a mother whose son was on the transplant floor, following a bone marrow transplant.

"Thank you, how is Tucker?" Ziva asked feigning happiness.

"He is going to be moved to the Ronald McDonald House day after tomorrow! We are one step closer and his brothers and sister are dying to see him again. So many regulations it is just impossible to bring six under ten to the transplant ward. He's only seen two of his siblings in the past five months. Well I guess three." Sophie explained patting her stomach.

"Did you find out what you are having yet?" Ziva asked.

"It's another girl! Jill is going to be so excited." Sophie replied.

"I am so excited for you, Peter, and the children." Ziva replied.

"I never imagined I would have eight kids. Admittedly Mason was an IVF because we were hoping to have an in family match for Tucker. Thankfully my niece stepped up and Mason was allowed to be a toddler. This baby was a pure surprise." Sophie explained.

"Congratulations" Ziva replied.

"Did you want a big family?" Sophie asked.

"Daniel and I wanted three children. We did not mean for the eight year gap between Juliana and John. We were going to wait two years but I had a miscarriage and we were just a little gun shy after that. Before we knew it seven years had passed. We got pregnant pretty quickly but with John's problems we felt it best to not have anymore." Ziva explained.

"Worried they would have the same problems?" Sophie guessed.

"No and even if that were a concern. Daniel and I had always talked about adoption. We discussed it when John was three and agreed it was best that he was our last. He took up so much time and attention. We barely had anything for Juliana. Adding another in anyway would not be fair to any of them." Ziva explained.

"Do you regret it?" Sophie asked.

"Sometimes I do. Sometimes I want that third baby. Sometimes I want Juliana. to have a sibling she can teach to play soccer. Sometimes I want more than one of my children to be expected to live a full life. It's too late now. Even if I got married tomorrow. I am probably too old to have another." Ziva explained.

"Have you considered adoption? You would likely have issues getting a newborn as birth mothers tend to adopt to younger couples but I know several older, single woman who adopted older children ranging from babies to teens." Sophie explained.

"I have always wanted to adopt." Ziva commented.

* * *

The plane touched down in Los Angeles, Carson grabbed his carry on and disboarded. He was still in shock. He could not believe his dad had approved this. He had brought his grades up but he was fully expecting Tony to come up with another excuse. He was shocked and thrilled, when he was surprised with the tickets the night before. He had immediately packed his bags and called all of his friends. There was a big "Zombie Rat" reunion show in the works but first things first. He had to meet Rochelle. His cousin had agreed to let him borrow his spare car. Unfortunately it was not the vintage cherry red convertible but the blue dodge challenger was better than Chuck's wife's lime green minivan. Carson did a secret agent maneuver as he turned onto Rochelle's street. A heavy set black woman chased him about half way up the street shaking her fists. Leaving her two children embarrassed on the sidewalk. Carson finally ditched Mama Bear and turned into Rochelle's driveway. Her thirteen year old brother Samuel was shooting hoops in the driveway with a few of his friends.

"Oh shit!" Sam cried as Carson exited the car. Sam had recently been granted permission to cuss around the house and was putting HBO to shame.

"What's up Sammy?" Carson asked.

"Dude you need to get upstairs before my dad gets home from Costco." Sam warned,

"Why?" Carson asked.

"Because you got Rochelle..." Sam's friend David started.

"Shut up freak! Sam send the retards home! NOW!" Rochelle barked.

"Guys go home." Sam instructed.

* * *

Carson followed Rochelle up the stairs to her room. It was still the same as Carson remembered it. Purple shag carpeting leftover from the seventies, hot pink sheets on a bright white post bed. Pink and white desk and drawers. Unicorns and horses everywhere, and a cheer-leading uniform on the floor. Rochelle sat at her desk and tapped her hot pink glitter pen hard on the particle board.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Carson asked.

"Carson! I'm pregnant!" Rochelle cried.

* * *

Carson turned pale and the room swirled around him. He gasped for air and ended up focusing on the stain in Rochelle's rug. The stain they had told Rochelle's younger sister Claire was a crushed marshmallow. The five year old screamed about her marshmallows being eaten. Until Rochelle road her bike to the store for a new pack. Carson remembered making a remark about how glad he was not to have to worry about children. After he got done baby sitting Sam and ten year old Bhodi. That stain was at least six months older than the baby growing in Rochelle's uterus. God uterus that was so disgusting. Carson's stomach lurched and he covered the marshmallow stain with a green and brown puke stain.

"Mommy! Carson threw up on my crushed marshmallow! Is he pregnant too?!" Claire cried.

"Claire Warren!" Rochelle's mom warned.

"Are you sure it's mine?" Carson asked.

"Unless I am carrying the next Jesus or my aunt's doberman Engelrbert HumpingDink did it. You are the father." Rochelle explained.

"Shit" Carson gasped.

"So what should I do?" Rochelle asked.

"What do you mean?" Carson asked.

"With the baby!" Rochelle spat.

"Don't you have a few months?" Carson asked.

"NO! NO! I DON'T! I am already fifteen weeks in! I have one week to decide on an abortion. The adoption agency needs an answer soon too. So I can start meeting potential parents before I get too far in. God if I keep it and raise it. I have to figure everything out. What am I going to do?!" Rochelle sobbed.

"I don't know" Carson wheezed as he puked again.

* * *

 **A/N: What will Rochelle do? How will Tony react? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	15. Decisions

The rest of the Los Angeles was asleep or moved inside to their places of work or pleasure. Carson and Rochelle however occupied a place that had remained empty for years. The old tree-house in the yard where the DiNozzo's home had once stood. The tree was far enough back on the lot that it was not effected by the fire but close enough to the house. That it was not lost in the land grab by the DiNozzo's former backyard neighbor. Carson had quit using the tree house when he was twelve and Tony never let Gavriella up there. Rochelle was not the first girl Carson had brought up to the tree-house nor was she really his first girlfriend. That title belonged to his friend Ally Dexter. They were inseparable back in elementary school and in sixth grade. Ally was diagnosed with AML a type of leukemia when they were six. Carson mainly remembered her getting to go to Disneyland for free, wear a hat in school, and best of all get out of class early. When the cancer returned summer before sixth grade year. Carson was much more aware. Ally still kept up with school and participated in track when she could. Just after Thanksgiving break she went into the hospital to have a bone marrow transplant. They had to kill her immune system. Somehow she got a cold and was too weak to fight it off. She died on new years eve and ever since then Carson stopped seeing girls as friends. By the next year he just wanted a girlfriend and had adopted his misogynistic attitude. Part of it was the teen years but the worst of it was because of Ally. Ironically he did not want to get close to another girl. They were objects. He had a few bad break-ups for that one but Rochelle was different. She wasn't like the other girls. Not like Ally where she was athletic and could make better fart noises than everyone. Rochelle was more conservative than the other girls her age and tolerated Carson's behavior. She put out for him pretty easy too. Her family was pretty conservative and pushed abstinence. Rochelle toed that line. Until she hit fifteen. Then she decided that she was desperate to lose her V-Card. Carson dove right in but they were always careful. Even if Carson did put it on wrong the first time. He couldn't have gotten her pregnant. It was that one time. That one stupid time right before Carson had to move. They had been broken up for a few weeks but decided to try and make it work. Then Rochelle permanently broke it off with him. No warning just saying she did not want to have a long distance relationship. It had been a week now but to Carson he woke up every day as if he had just found out.

"Are you mad at me for not getting the abortion? Because I really couldn't do that. My family has been against it for so long." Rochelle explained.

"No I figured you wouldn't. So what do we do from here?" Carson asked.

"I can't raise it. I am not ready to be a mom." Rochelle admitted.

"I sure as hell can't be a dad." Carson replied.

"So I guess that means adoption." Rochelle sighed.

"So our baby will be raised by strangers. Unless one of our parents steps up." Carson commented.

"My mom said four was enough. Even if number five did not come from her body. Apparently birth is the easy part. She is not going to raise a fifth child." Rochelle explained.

"I don't see my dad raising another kid. He wants another baby but not like this. Besides it would be kind of awkward." Carson explained.

"I will call the agency in the morning. It's a nationwide agency. My Aunt Jean actually adopted a baby through them a few years back." Rochelle explained.

"Would Jean and Dan be willing to adopt?" Carson asked.

"I went to them when I first found out. They considered it but then they found out they were pregnant themselves and they couldn't handle two babies at once." Rochelle explained.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Carson asked.

"I found out pretty early. Just before you told me that you were leaving. I panicked. I was going to have my Aunt Tara pretend to be my mom and take me to the clinic but I couldn't do it. So I was going to raise it myself. Around seven weeks I started bleeding and I passed something. I asked Jean and she said it was a miscarriage. I stopped bleeding and wasn't feeling bad. So I opted out of going to the doctor. It was early. I was so relieved to have miscarried. I know that sounds terrible but I thought sure it was over. I kept feeling pregnant. I asked Jean who's had four miscarriages and she said it was normal. So I didn't think anything of it. Then I noticed the bump. I finally confessed to my mom and she took me to the doctor. It turns out I was carrying twins and I only miscarried one. Here I was celebrating and my baby is going to live without it's twin." Rochelle explained.

"You didn't know." Carson assured.

"I remember from science class. They said young people are high risk to have Down Syndrome babies or babies with other birth defects. That can complicate adoptions." Rochelle explained.

"Our baby will find a loving home. No matter what happens." Carson assured.

"The agency I went with is great about disabled children either adopting them out or adopting to families with disabled children." Rochelle explained.

"What are they called?" Carson asked.

"Fostering Hope and Growing Forever Love" Rochelle replied.

"Cheesy" Carson gagged.

* * *

Ziva had officially made the decision. She was going to adopt a baby. It probably wasn't the best idea but it was something she needed to do. She had great help with John and Juliana did not need her as much anymore. In fact this time next year she would be attending her daughter's graduation ceremony. Juliana had already applied to Georgetown and Monroe but had also applied to three other colleges across the country. Georgetown and Monroe were her first choices but Ziva was rooting for one of the out of state choices. Juliana needed to spread her wings and fly. She needed to learn to live without caring for her disabled brother. John was not going to live forever and Ziva had no idea how either of them would cope. Ziva wanted the baby. So she had something to take care of but also so Juliana could still be a big sister. Maybe it wasn't normal but what was normal anyway?

"Did you get the application filled out?" Tony asked.

"Yes I went with an agency in California." Ziva replied.

"California?" Tony questioned.

"It's a nationwide agency but it's based in Los Angeles. Nell Jones actually recommended it to me. A friend of hers used them. They are great about adopting to parents with disabled children. Some agencies mark that as a red flag but it is actually part of this agencies mission statement." Ziva explained.

"That's really interesting. What is the agency called?" Tony asked.

"Fostering Hope and Growing Forever Love." Ziva replied.

* * *

 **A/N: It's pretty obvious from here. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	16. Normalcy

Carson was out in California but that did not mean that Tony was without teenage drama. This time it was Gavriella making his life hell. The main source of their frustrations was Gavriella's summer plans. Tony had found a promising camp for special needs children but Gavriella was having no part of it. She was insisting on going to a regular summer camp or no camp at all. That was the week that Carson was to go on vacation with his friend Jack. Tony was to be free of children. Yes John and Juliana would be around but Tony was not legally responsible for them. Tony just wanted a week where he did not have to deal with drama, arguments, or hormones. God he hated teenage hormones. He loved his children. He just wished they did not come with those pesky hormones. Gavriella's raging female hormones were painful to Tony. He had no idea how to deal with a teenage girl. Everything he said was wrong, everything he did was wrong, breathing was wrong. He desperately wished that Sofia was around to take the reigns. At least she would understand Gavriella. Maybe she could talk some sense into her or at least take a few of the barbs.

"I am not going! You fucking fuck head!" Gavriella snapped.

"Do not use that word!" Tony barked.

"I am not going to cripple camp! I am just not going to cripple camp!" Gavriella snapped.

"It's not cripple camp. It's Camp of Hope and Spirit and it is the best special needs camp on the Atlantic Coast." Tony explained.

"The name is lame! And every camp claims to be the best! I am not going to have another summer of being cheered on for every pointless thing I do. I just want one normal summer." Gavriella explained.

"Last time you went to regular summer camp you got hurt." Tony reminded.

"Because Carson was teasing my and I ran." Gavriella reminded.

"Well the camp should have made sure that the trail was safer." Tony rebutted.

"It's the woods. There are roots in the woods." Gavriella sighed,

"Still they should have been safer." Tony replied.

"I can't take this anymore! I am going to my room. Unless the carpet is too dangerous for me! Gee maybe I can just stay downstairs in the home hospital with John! Maybe I can get a tracheostomy too! Because air can be dangerous!" Gavriella ranted.

"Gavriella..." Tony started.

"NO! I am done with you! I am sick of being a baby!" Gavriella snapped, storming upstairs.

* * *

It was official Carson was going to be a teenage father but only because his DNA had created a child. He was not going to abandon the child. The baby was going to be placed for adoption. It was a strange feeling letting go of his child. He had always kind of wanted to be a dad. He wanted the late weekend nights and secret dinners of junk food. He knew that he would have that some day but now was not the time. Now his son or daughter deserved to be in the home of a loving family who was ready to have a tiny newborn in their household. Something Carson and Rochelle were not. Rochelle wanted to go to college and by a lawyer. Carson was not sure what he wanted but he knew the odds of them both being able to follow their dreams and be a parent were pretty slim.

"When are you leaving next week?" Rochelle asked.

"Friday morning" Carson replied.

"I have an ultrasound Thursday afternoon. They may be able to tell the gender." Gavriella explained.

"I would like to see my child at least once." Carson replied.

"We can back out if you want. We don't have an adoptive family yet." Rochelle explained.

"No it wouldn't be fair to our baby." Carson sighed.

* * *

Ziva was devastated. She knew that her chances of being approved were slim. She was not in the best place financially but she knew of websites and charities that helped fund adoptions. She had even begun a profile on "Adopt Together". John was another risk factor but this agency promised to make adoptions easy for special needs families. It was her housing situation that ended up ruining her. She did not have a home. She was living with a friend and she did not have any prospects of a new house. Her home had been torn down and she was still trying to get a few things situated. She had been rejected for this adoption attempt but they did give her the option to try again when her life was a little more stable. Her life would never be stable. She was a widow with one child who was dying and another who would be leaving the nest soon. She would be alone. Wherever she ended up. She could not help but breakdown crying as she held the letter in her hands.

"Ziva? What's wrong?" Tony cried.

"I was rejected." Ziva sniffed.

"By who?" Tony asked.

"The adoption agency." Ziva replied.

"I thought there were charities to help fund the adoption and the agency did not have a problem with special needs families." Tony commented.

"There are and the agency is great. It's the housing situation." Ziva replied.

"I am sorry." Tony apologized.

* * *

What Tony wanted to say was that he would marry Ziva and she could move in with him. Then they could fill the house with healthy and happy babies. Maybe they could even have one or two of their own. Tony could have the den converted into a nice room for John. A room that kept him safe and warm but did not feel like a hospital. He wanted to give Ziva the life she deserved but they were not ready for that. They had only been together a few weeks and that was only admitting their feelings for each other. He wanted to make things right for Ziva. That was all he wanted. He could not give her the family she wanted. At least not now. For now all he could do was put his arm around her and offer simple reassurances.

"I guess it was stupid. I just wanted to replace John and Juliana. I am not ready to be alone. Maybe if John were going to leave me behind for the real world it would be easier. Maybe." Ziva explained.

"It's not easy having both kids leave you naturally either." Tony admitted.

"It's not?" Ziva asked.

"I am having a hell of a time with Gavriella growing up. I tell her I am protecting her because of the Cerebral Palsy. In reality I am protecting her because she is my baby." Tony explained.

"At least she gets to grow up. I get having a hard time letting go but I wish that more parents would see how hard it is for me. Parents who only ever had healthy kids have no idea and bereaved parents are always telling me how lucky I am to have two healthy children. Unless you are a parent to profoundly disabled child. You don't know. How hard it is to know that your child will never grow up. They may grow physically but they will never grow mentally. They will never live on their own. John will always be a baby." Ziva explained.

* * *

In his heart Tony knew that Ziva was right. He truly was lucky that Gavriella could grown and live a normal life. He knew not all cerebral palsy parents got that lucky. Many of the parents in the groups he was in were like Ziva. They would be caring for their children for their entire lives. If the child managed to live a full life. The parents would have to worry about their care in the future. Still that did not make it any easier. He was not ready for Gavriella to grow up but he knew it had to happen eventually and he should be lucky that it could. He knocked softly on his daughters door.

"What do you want?!" Gavriella demanded.

"I thought about what you said earlier. I found a camp for you. They had a cancellation and it's for the week that you would have gone to Camp of Spirit and Hope. I made some calls and I managed to get you in." Tony explained.

"You got me into a regular summer camp?!" Gavriella cried.

"Yes it is called Camp Abbott." Tony explained.

"Is it a vaudeville camp?" Gavriella laughed.

"No it's named for the man who donated the land." Tony laughed.

"And it's a real camp? Not a cripple camp that some how does not have a cheesy name?" Gavriella asked.

"It is a regular summer camp but it does have special needs campers. Special needs campers have a buddy." Tony explained

"There it is the overly perky counselor who checks to see if you pooped your pants." Gavriella sighed.

"No they are peer buddies and they have to go through training and a few other tests to make sure they are really wanting to help not just doing it to look good on a college resume. From what I hear there is also a compatibility aspect." Tony explained.

"Are they going to baby me?" Gavriella asked.

"No they just get assigned to the same dorm and usually sleep on the same bunk. You will be in the same groups for activities. It is no different than any other camp experience. Just this girl will help you if you need assistance." Tony explained.

"I am looking this up but it does sound good." Gavriella replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Realistically Ziva would not have an easy time adopting but that does not mean that she won't get a baby. As for Tony and Gavriella how will the new dynamic work out? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	17. Father and Son

Carson shifted nervously in his seat. His mind drifted to all the incidents of people being drug off of planes lately. He couldn't help but think how terrific it would be if that happened to him. He would get another day to figure out how to break the news and it would sure help garner sympathy if he was beat to hell. Figuring to give it a shot he pressed the button until a stewardess arrived.

"May I help you son?" Katharine asked.

"Uh I have heard a lot about people being forced off of planes lately." Carson explained.

"Yes and?" Katharine asked.

"I would like to do that please." Carson replied.

"Son I don't know if this is a weird bet or what but I am not going to force you off the plane." Katharine replied.

"I got my girlfriend pregnant and I would sure love to come home with a black eye or two. So my old man isn't so pissed at me." Carson explained.

"Here's some make up. Apply it in the bathroom and I never heard a word about this." Katharine replied, handing Carson a small tube.

* * *

In the end Carson decided not to fake the injury. He said a silent prayer that he would trip getting off the plane and have to be wheeled to his father in a wheelchair. A fucked up ankle right in the middle of summer would suck but at least it would save his ass for a little while. He got off the plane without a hitch. He considered just running away but running from an airplane was never a good idea. The last thing he needed was a pregnant ex girlfriend and being labeled a suspected terrorist. He took a nervous breath and then made his way through the terminal. He soon spotted his dad and the nerd holding signs to welcome him home. They were such dorks.

"Carson!" Gavriella cried.

"Yeah it's me. How you doing dork?" Carson asked.

"I am going to real summer camp in a couple weeks." Gavriella replied.

"How was the trip Carson?" Tony asked.

"It was good dad. I thought you weren't bringing the dork." Carson commented.

"Team had a case and Gibbs could not lose both of us, and Juliana had a job interview. Gavriella cannot legally stay with John's nurse until she is old enough to stay on her own." Tony explained.

"Doesn't her being crippled count?" Carson asked.

"She can care for herself so legally the nurse cannot watch her." Tony explained.

"Why are you being so rude?" Gavriella asked.

"I just need to talk to dad privately, nerd. Don't take it to heart." Carson replied.

* * *

The ride home from the airport was not as joyful as Tony had hoped. Aside from the occasional complaint or insult. Carson did not make a sound. Gavriella chatted excitedly about summer camp and her near perfect score on the state standardized test. Tony tried to pay attention but his mind kept drifting to his son. Carson had dodged his calls all month and when they did talk he seemed distant and distracted. After arriving home Tony sent Gavriella up to her room and led Carson to the privacy of the master bedroom.

"What's wrong son?" Tony asked.

"I did something really stupid. Possibly the worst thing I have ever done." Carson admitted.

"Something I have to pay for?" Tony asked.

"No well maybe a little." Carson replied.

"Something stupid that is also illegal?" Tony asked.

"No it was perfectly legal. Just not the best idea." Carson replied.

"If it's not illegal and I don't have to pay for it how bad can it be?" Tony asked.

"Dad… I got Rochelle pregnant." Carson admitted.

"How did you do that?" Tony asked.

"Well when a man and a woman love each other very much..." Carson started.

"I know that much. What I mean is how did you get her pregnant? You guys broke up before we moved out here." Tony explained.

"We did but before we broke up. Rochelle and I had sex." Carson replied.

"Dammit Carson!" Tony snapped.

"I am sorry dad! It was a mistake! Besides it's not like you have never had sex with a girl out of wedlock! I know about your little black book!" Carson snapped.

"I'll be the first to admit that I was with my share of girls before your mother and a few after she died. I am not mad at you for having sex. A lot of kids have sex at your age. I am mad at you because you did not use protection. Seriously Carson I showed you where I keep the condoms the day we had the talk. You swore to me you would always use one. Until you were committed and wanting a baby. You are damn lucky it's just a baby and not a disease." Tony explained.

"I know that! Don't you think I already know that!? It was a mistake! We always used a condom! It failed the first time but Rochelle's rug did not get pregnant! I would give anything to undo it! I really would!" Carson bellowed.

"I am sorry son." Tony apologized.

"I can't do this! I am staying with Jack!" Carson snapped.

"Carson I am sorry." Tony apologized.

* * *

The first time Carson ran away was when he was four years old. Sofia had just found out she was pregnant and Carson was worried he was being replaced. He packed his Strawberry Shortcake suitcase. The one he had insisted on having but would adamantly deny today. He packed the case full of toys and his Snoopy Pajama set. After hours of frantic searching, calls to every house in the neighborhood, and a BOLO placed by Rota's NCIS. Tony found his son at the small park near the house. Carson sat on the swings they were always his favorite. Tony sat on the other swing and talked Carson through the changes. Today was the same except Carson was the one facing fatherhood, Tony was the one scared to death, and Carson had long since left behind Snoopy and Strawberry Shortcake. Carson however was still partial to swings and once again that's where Tony found him. Tony could not swing like he once had. So he took a seat on the swing but held it tightly in place.

"I am not mad. I just need to think." Carson said.

"Remember when mom was pregnant with Gavriella and you ran away? Because you were worried about being replaced. Remember what I said?" Tony asked.

"Every baby is special and nothing could make me love you less. Is that a pro-life speech? Because it's too late to end it." Carson explained.

"No I just want you to know that your son is special and I will never in a million years love you even an ounce less than I did the moment I learned I was going to be a father. I am telling you that so you know that I am not angry. I also told you so you would understand what it is like to be a father." Tony explained.

"I am having a son dad. A son that we are giving up for adoption. I love him more than life itself. That's why I agreed to adoption. My son deserves better than what we can give." Carson explained.

"That was very brave of you but he will always be your son. Are you doing closed or open adoption? Maybe you can meet him one day." Tony asked.

* * *

 **A/N: Well Tony knows the truth. I promise a major Tiva moment is coming. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	18. Life Is Short

**WARNING! Contains spoilers for last weeks NCIS Los Angeles. Proceed with caution.**

* * *

Dropping Gavriella off at camp was extremely emotional for Tony. The special needs camp Gavriella attended was only forty-five minutes away and they had a parents day in the middle of the week. This camp was two hours away and the camp follies were the last night of camp. He knew that Gavriella needed her independence but this was not easy at all.

"Your girl the one with crutches?" A heavy set black woman asked as they exited the lodge.

"Yeah Gavriella" Tony replied.

"First time leaving her at camp?" The woman asked.

"First time where it's over an hour away. First time she's going to a regular summer camp." Tony explained.

"It's not hard and trust me it's hard to leave an able bodied child. Trust me my oldest has Down Syndrome and an issue with her muscles. My youngest is perfectly healthy. I think it was harder to drop the younger one off." The woman explained.

"Gavy is my baby." Tony replied.

"You'll get through" The woman assured.

* * *

Tony cried the entire drive home. Leaving Gavriella at camp was another reminded that one day he would be leaving her at college. Then one day she would get married and have a family of her own. Carson already had a son on the way. Life was moving fast, too fast for Tony's liking. Little did he knew that as hard as his changes were to accept. An old friend was facing an even more painful change.

* * *

Tony arrived home and tossed his keys onto the table. John was having a therapy session in the den. Tony tried to give Ziva and John privacy during John's treatments. He grabbed his phone and headed upstairs. He collapsed onto his bed and turned on the TV. Taking advantage of his first Sunday off in a long while. Carson had left for the lake the day before and Juliana was away at her camp counseling job. It was just Tony, Ziva, and John. The monotonous talk on the TV was lulling Tony to sleep. His screaming phone harshly pulled him back to reality. His first thought was a case of an emergency with Ziva but it was Deeks calling.

"Deeks! Do you have a date yet?"

"No and I… I don't think it's going to happen."

"I really don't want to screw around today, Tony."

"Why not?"

"Tony… Something happened last night. Tony somebody died."

"Oh God was it Kensi?"

"Kensi's fine. Tony Michelle died last night."

"Sam's, Michelle?"

"Yeah"

"What happened?"

"She was killed. I don't mean to leave you out of the loop but Sam is real messed up and it's my turn to take a shift with him. I can't talk about it around him."

"No I understand. Call me back later?"

"Sure"

* * *

Ziva was the next to receive word of Michelle Hanna's death. She had just gotten done with John's afternoon physical therapy session. John was asleep again, he was only awake between four and seven hours a day now. She went over to the couch and curled up on the comfortable spot on the pullout. She did not have time to fall asleep. Kensi called her on the way home from Sam's. Kensi was hysterical and Tony could barely make anything out. She did manage to get more information than Tony but only after she talked Kensi down and walked her through a breathing excersis. She knew that Michelle had been abducted by Khaled and trapped in an air-tight room. They found her too late and everybody was devastated. It was hard for Ziva to hold back her tears. She had never met Michelle and she barely knew Sam but this was still devastating. It was never easy to lose one of their own but it was somehow harder when one of their own lost a close family member.

"Hey Ziva!" Tony called.

"What's up?" Ziva asked.

"I have to go run a few errands. Do you need anything?" Tony asked.

"Where are you going?" Ziva asked.

"I need to hit the grocery store. Any dinner requests?" Tony replied.

"I am open to anything." Ziva replied.

"Hey do you know if the card shop is open today?" Tony asked.

"Hallmark or Sharon's?" Ziva asked.

"Sharon's is closer." Tony commented.

"No they are closed weekends. Why?" Ziva explained.

"I have to by a sympathy card." Tony replied.

"Sam?" Ziva guessed.

"Yeah how do you know?" Tony questioned.

"Kensi called me. They really aren't supposed to talk about it yet but she needed somebody to talk to. She was freaked out." Ziva explained.

"Deeks called me and he was pretty shaken too." Tony replied.

"Poor Sam I cannot imagine. I mean I lost Daniel but that was just an accident. I knew right away he was dead. No fears, no hope." Ziva explained.

* * *

It was dark and painfully quiet in the DiNozzo household. John was in a deep sleep, he was the only one. Tony and Ziva were restless by the news they had just received. Ziva found herself sitting under the counter. She heard foot-steps. It could not be John, she knew that it was Tony. He walked over to the fridge grabbed the jug of milk, poured a glass into a microwave safe cup, and tossed it into the microwave. The appliance buzzed and whirred in the distance. It was just over Ziva's head but it felt to me miles away.

"Ziva?" Tony called.

"Oh hi Tony." Ziva replied.

"Why are you hiding?" Tony laughed.

"I am just thinking." Ziva replied.

"Sam?" Tony guessed.

"Yeah" Ziva replied.

"Me too" Tony sighed.

"Did Deeks call you back?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah" Tony replied.

"Life is short. I have always known that. I used to make a note of taking time to smell the roses. Now I am in part of my life where I need to do that but I don't have time. I am not caught up in the hamster race or trying to keep up with Johnson's. I am keeping my son alive. I am facing the greatest tragedy a mother can endure." Ziva explained.

"There is always time when you have a friend." Tony replied.

"You are more than a friend." Ziva replied.

"Are you ready for that?" Tony questioned.

"How's this for ready for it?" Ziva asked, kissing Tony on the lips.

"Ziva" Tony gasped, his eyes rolling back as he pulled her close. This was pure ecstasy.

* * *

 **A/N: Probably not the most appropriate way it could happen but hey it happened. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	19. Living

Michelle Hanna's funeral was on a Sunday. Tony would be flying out Friday night and returning Monday morning. It had been cleared by Director Vance. Though he wished he had not gotten approval. Everybody had commented on how messed up Sam was and even Vance seemed uneasy. Tony did not want to face that but Sam had been asking for him. Sam and Michelle had been great to him when Sofia died. They had been great when Tony took the demotion after Gavriella was born and the family opted to return to the US. As hard as it would be he had to return the favor. With a heavy sigh he tossed his luggage into the truck of the car. He would be leaving after Gavriella's end of camp festival. He would not even be driving his daughter home, that job would go to Juliana. He would leave straight from the camp to the airport. He would have to tell Gavriella that her Aunt Michelle had died. He had opted to tell her it was an accident. He would answer the other questions when the time came.

"I can see about getting a nurse." Ziva commented as she watched Tony slam the trunk.

"No Sam doesn't need a bunch of strangers. It's close friends and family only for now. They may have a public memorial service in a few weeks but nobody is up for it now." Tony explained.

"Give Sam my condolences." Ziva replied.

"Of course" Tony promised, kissing Ziva on the top of her head.

* * *

Carson shifted on the boat, the sun was beginning to set and nightfall was inevitable. They had one more day here and then they would be driving home Sunday morning. Back to reality. The reality where he was going to be a teenage father. He did not care if his son was going to be adoption. He would still biologically be a father at sixteen. He lowered his hand into the water. Jack's sister was flirting with the boy across the lake. It could be her who was the next teen mom. In a few years it could be Gavriella. He had always thought that teen pregnancy was a big joke. The subject of the sappy movies and books that Gavriella dove into. That Sixteen and Pregnant was just kids doing it on purpose to get on TV. That every other teenage parent had done it on purpose or was just too stupid to function. Carson wasn't the brightest kid in the world but he didn't think he was that stupid and this sure as hell was not on purpose. That meant that teen pregnancy was a real issue and he was just another statistic. He hated being a statistic. Genius Gavriella would spout statistics all day long. He was too many to count. He was learning disabled, he was a motherless child, he was a teen father.

"Where my bitches at!" Jack called as they floated towards the lake front cabin for teens in foster care.

"Dude treat them with some respect." Carson begged.

"Did you go queer in California? I tell ya it's gonna be great when that hunk of land snaps into the ocean. Millions of liberals dead. Perfect world." Jack explained.

"What is wrong with you?" Carson demanded.

"I don't like liberals. They'd be all begging for handouts. Nah you shouldn't have stayed somewhere like that." Jack explained.

"I lived there for years because of my dad's job. My son lives there." Carson reminded.

"Your son?" Jack gasped.

"I got a girl pregnant before I moved." Carson explained.

"You dooooggggggg!" Jack hooted.

"Jack it was an accident. I am not proud of it. I am downright scared." Carson admitted.

"Ho sticking you with the kid and bills?" Jack asked.

"No we chose adoption." Carson replied.

"Not some queers right?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. Rochelle was still looking at families. It's nation wide so maybe my son will be close to me." Carson explained.

"Good for your boy. Maybe he'll get adopted by a red blooded American family. Strong conservative values and a heart for the working man." Jack explained.

"I don't care what kind of family my son goes to. I just want him to have what I cannot provide right now." Carson explained.

Gavriella shook nervously as she stood backstage. Well it really wasn't backstage. She could see the parents sitting around the circle and the backstage was just the area behind the outdoor circle and the trail to the cabins.

"You Team Classroom Diversity Poster ready?" Katie asked.

"Wheels is a go!" Mandy cried.

"Four arms is in!" Gavriella replied with false enthusiasm.

"Basketball is down to partay!" Katie cried.

* * *

Tony put a false smile on his face as the camp follies began. The smaller kids all did one big skit singing all the old camp songs. The ones Tony had sung and Gibbs before him, even Ducky could recall a few. Though he sang them in the war. The rest of the kids did routines in groups of one or three. Finally it was time for Gavriella's team to preform. Gavriella hobbled on stage along with two other girls. The first girl was a black girl who caused Tony to refer to the program to ensure she was not a counselor. The other girl was small and sat in a wheelchair.

"We are team Classroom Diversity Poster!" Katie cried.

"I am Mandy but my nickname was Wheels." Mandy added.

"I am Gavriella but my nickname was Four Arms." Gavriella chimed in.

"My name is Katie but my nickname is basketball and before you ask I actually love basketball but you would too if you had fourteen brothers!" Katie cried.

"All of us are different. Some of us cannot use our legs." Mandy started.

"Some of us can walk but not so great." Gavriella added.

"Some of us have to go run the track during free period to keep our legs from moving at the wrong time." Katie finished.

"Our families are different too. Some of us were born in far off lands where our needs could not be met so well. So we were brought across the pond by a loving family who could not have a baby of their own. Some of us are only children." Mandy explained.

"Some of us lost a parent young but have a dad and brother who always have our back." Gavriella added.

"Some of our parents broke up but don't be sad because the broken family found new puzzle pieces and became two. Three brothers from both my dad and mom. Mom married a man with two sons and they had one of their own. Dad married a woman with three boys and guess what? They had two and wanted one more. They got three times the fun with triplet sons!" Katie exclaimed.

"We all get in trouble for different things too. Some of us gorge on junk food." Mandy said.

"Some of us like to argue." Gavriella added.

"Some of us are too LOUD!" Katie cried.

"And lastly our wants are just as diverse. Some of us long for way to get around that's not so heavy and slow." Mandy explained.

"Some of us just want our parents to see that we are not crippled." Gavriella replied.

"Some of us just want a sister." Many finished.

"Diversity is more than buzzwords and posters!" All three girls shouted.

* * *

Ziva watched the same sight she had seen for eight years. She watched her son slowly die before her eyes. John was stable now but that could change any time. Tony had left and Ziva's heart was aching. She wanted her friend by her side. She wanted Tony to be more than a friend. She just wanted one thing that was good in her life.

* * *

Juliana carefully drove down the winding roads. She had cried at Gavriella's performance, just about everybody had. It was powerful coming from two small shy girls and well Katie. Juliana just prayed that the message stuck for the girls parents and the other loved ones in the crowd.

"I loved your message." Juliana said.

"Thanks it was all stuff we talked about in the cabin at night. This afternoon we did not know what we were going to do. Mandy wanted to read a poem, Katie wanted to make a splash, and I just wanted to stand up to my dad. Well we had to right down stuff we wanted the world to know. Our counselor was so impressed she had us read it at the show. All of us got our wish." Gavriella explained.

"That was pretty cool." Juliana stated.

"Thanks" Gavriella replied.

"I always wanted a little sister. Before John I wanted a sister and I was mad when mom said it was a boy. I was worried he torture me like my friend's brothers did. Then John was born so sick and soon we knew he would not be like other kids. From then on I just wanted that teasing brother. I love John but I want a sibling I can really interact with.' Juliana explained.

"I always wanted a big sister." Gavriella admitted.

"Want to be soul sisters?" Juliana asked.

"Sounds good" Gavriella replied.

* * *

 **A/N: The girls are getting along but what about the boys? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	20. Conflicts

Michelle's funeral was harder than Tony had anticipated. Seeing Sam break down was horrible. Everybody was damaged and Michelle did not look dead. Tony wanted it to be a trick or a dream. He talked Sam down Saturday night and then returned to the hotel for another sleepless night. He had to congratulate Deeks and Kensi on their engagement, even though the couple was keeping the news on the DL for the time being. Tony could not wait to return home. He had thought being in Los Angles would be fun but it just broke his heart. The flight home was endless. He just wanted to leave the city behind him. He wanted to leave the pain behind. He did not see himself returning to LA anytime soon. He just prayed if and when he did. It was not for another funeral. He was sick of people dying and he was sick of bad things happening to good people. When the flight finally touched down he got off the plane and looked for Carson who was supposed to pick him up. Instead he found Ziva waiting.

"Where's Carson?" Tony asked.

"He had a rough weekend. I said that I would get you." Ziva replied.

"Abba!" Gavriella cried.

"Oh Gavi girl, I have missed you so much." Tony replied.

"I missed you too." Gavriella admitted.

"I didn't have time to talk to you after the production. Gavi that was amazing." Tony replied.

"So you aren't mad?" Gavriella asked.

"No I just had to get to LA." Tony replied.

"Why?" Gavriella asked.

"Gavi I didn't have a chance to tell you this before I left. Gavi Mrs. Hanna died." Tony explained.

"What happened?" Gavriella asked.

"It was an accident." Ziva replied.

"How's Carmon doing?" Gavriella asked.

"She was really sad but they will be OK." Tony assured.

"Gavi can you go get me coke?" Ziva asked pouting to the drink counter.

"Can I? Gavi asked.

"Sure but come back as soon as you pay." Tony replied handing Gavriella money.

* * *

Gavriella took off for the drink counter and hoisted herself up onto the stool with limited issue. She was a hell of a lot more independent than Tony remembered. He had to wipe away a tear before looking back up at Ziva. She had a serious and sad look on her face. She reached out and placed her hand on Tony's shoulder. She looked at him with her deep brown eyes and pulled him close.

"How was it really?" Ziva asked.

"It was horrible. The kids seem OK but Sam was a mess. I talked to him for hours last night but he didn't respond. I'm really worried about him." Tony explained.

"Kensi said he was pretty bad off." Ziva admitted.

"How are you?" Ziva asked.

"I am not OK." Tony admitted.

"We will get through this." Ziva promised

* * *

The older children were gone when Tony, Ziva, and Gavriella returned home. Gavriella raced upstairs to face-time with Katie on her iPad and Tony headed up to take and Tony headed up to take a nap. Ziva returned to her room. The nurse was leaning over John with a concerned look on her face.

"What's wrong?" Ziva asked.

"He's running a fever." Jane explained.

"How bad?" Ziva asked dreading the result.

"One hundred and one point four." Jane replied.

"We need to take him in." Ziva replied.

"I know, do you want to drive or call an ambulance?" Jane asked.

"Drive" Ziva replied.

* * *

Ziva had not been scared to go to the hospital for a long time. She was scared to death of doctors and hospitals when she was younger but that changed when John was born. She was terrified at first but eventually it just became routine. He was in and out of the hospital so much it just became a part of their lives. Then the last time the doctors told her that John would not be around much longer. The fear returned upon John's first trip back to the hospital. John's pain became apparent in the car. He screamed and whaled. He had a seizure about halfway there and Ziva knew it was stress induced. They turned into the parking lot and Ziva raced inside. Given his condition it did not take long for John to be rushed back triage. Ziva followed behind completely helpless.

"It's an ear infection. We want to keep him at least overnight but he should be home within a couple days on antibiotics." Dr. Fowler explained.

* * *

Gavriella laid up on her bed, her hair flowing behind her on her Maroon pillowcase. She listened to Mandy go on and on about how she was going to be getting new glasses soon. She was going to be getting a pair of hot pink cat's eyes with fake emeralds on the arms. Personally Gavriella thought they were tacky but Mandy liked them and that's all that mattered. Her mind drifted to how if they were at camp. Katie would shudder, crinkle her nose, and moan "Ewwwww Piiiiiiiiiinnnnnnk!". She could not help but laugh at the memory.

"What's so funny?" Mandy asked.

"Ewww piiiiinnnnk!" Gavriella moaned.

"Don't go all Katie on me." Mandy pleaded.

"I won't" Gavriella promised.

"Amanda Denise! Five minute warning!" Mandy's mom called.

"Well that's my cue. Oh! Oh! Before I get off! I just read the coolest news ever!" Mandy cried.

"What?" Gavriella asked.

"Mendy Philps and Conway Powers are adopting a baby!" Mandy cried.

"Oh that's cool I guess." Gavriella replied.

* * *

Carson let the door to Dani's car slam behind him. He could not wait until he had money to buy his own car. Oh yeah and his license. It wasn't super cool having his cousin as his co-pilot through the LA trip. He ripped off his Dairy Queen shirt and tossed it into the hamper upon entering the house. He could not believe he had a job. Dani had called him about a position opening up at DQ. It needed to be filled right away and Carson managed to be the first to show up to the open interview. He had the job pretty easy and now he could finally have some spending money. He collapsed onto the couch and checked his phone. He had a missed call from Rochelle. He pressed call back and waited.

"Hello?"

"You called?"

"I just wanted to let you know I found a potential family. We are meeting tomorrow and you can face-time with us."

"Really? Who are they? Where are they?"

"They live right here in LA! Oh and get this! It's Mendy Philps and Conway Powers!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Remember she had a hysterectomy back when "After School Special" was on?"

"I remember them saying Royce was in the hospital for Anorexia."

"Well she had a hysterectomy and now she is adopting our baby!"

* * *

Carson hung up with Rochelle and collapsed back onto the couch. Rochelle was your run of the mill LA girl who just wanted to be famous. Except she had crippling stage fright and cameras forget about it. Carson figured that two celebrities adopting her baby would satisfy the hunger. Mendy Philps and Conway Powers were the two stars of the hit made for TV movie and eventual TV series "After School Special". It was a huge deal when Carson and Rochelle were in middle school. In the movie Royce Remington and Devante Turk were forced to switch homes for a school project. In the series Royce's posh after school club was forced to share space with Devante's after school program for at risk youths. In both the main characters fell madly in love. The actors followed suit. Just before the start of season three Mendy had to have an emergency hysterectomy. The story given was severe endometriosis but rumors swirled that she had gotten pregnant and botched a home abortion. Royce was written as having developed anorexia during her summer at a high profile internship in New York. By this time the abortion rumors were at the forefront and parents groups were demanding the shows cancellation. They managed to be renewed for the final fourth season. By having Royce get knocked up and deliver a powerful pro-life speech. The fourth season kind of stunk with Royce's pregnancy but by then Carson and Rochelle were in high school and it wasn't such a big deal anymore. Less than a month after the finale aired Conway married Mendy in a lavish ceremony. That's when the die hard tween fan base accepted that they were actually twenty eight and twenty five respectively. They had talked about adopting a baby in any magazine that would interview them. Well now they were apparently adopting Carson's son.

* * *

 **A/N: Will the star studded adoption work out? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	21. Confessions

It took a few days but things in the DiNozzo-David household eventually returned to normal. Tony and Ziva had both returned to work. John was home and his nurse was caring for him during the day. Carson was working at Dairy Queen now, Gavriella was enjoying her summer vacation, and Juliana was still away at her camp counselor job.

* * *

Tony sat with his feet kicked out from the side of his desk. They had a case but it wasn't anything special. It wasn't gruesome but it wasn't obvious either. It was just another day at the office. Another dead Petty Officer at Rock Creek park. Ziva sat at her desk. It was one of those miserable, sticky, hot days. The air conditioner was working but not well. Ziva sat kind of hunched over her desk. Her top open just enough for her breasts to be visible. Her hair fell messily on her forehead. She shifted and began fanning herself was a sheet of folded printer paper. That was all she had to do to get Tony's heart racing.

"Seriously? You're ogling Ziva now? She's been through too much to deal with your perverted heart, Tony." McGee hissed.

"Shut-up McGee!" Ziva snapped.

"He's staring at your tits!" McGee shot back.

"Yes, my boyfriend is allowed to look at my breasts if he likes." Ziva spat.

"Boyfriend!" McGee gasped.

"Yes! We have been dating a few weeks now." Ziva replied.

"You better treat her right." McGee warned.

"I will McGee! I will treat Ziva right! I love her! I am not the pig you think I am! I get Abby holding onto anger but you need to let it go! That girl was horrible to you! I know she cheated on you at least once! She got you drinking excessively and you were one late show up away from being fired by Gibbs! She nearly destroyed you! Stop acting like she was some saint and I am a monster. I am not perfect either but I would never treat anybody the way Cassidy treated you!" Tony ranted, lunging at McGee.

* * *

Ziva immediately sprang into action. She knew that Tony was pissed. The heat was getting to everybody. Carson was having issues and John had a hard night. There hadn't been much sleep for anybody the night before. Ziva was pretty irritable herself. Unfortunately irritable was not an excuse for attacking a co-worker. Ziva flung herself between Tony and McGee, forcing Tony's fist back towards his own body.

"What's going on in here?" Gibbs demanded returning with his coffee.

"Just a little training exercise." Ziva replied.

"Yeah just a training exercise." Tony added.

"Training exercise." McGee confirmed nervously.

"Alright but next time you do a training exercise, remember that Ziva may not intercept the punch next time and McGee remember that Tony has the right to be pissed with you." Gibbs explained.

* * *

All three agents ended having a nice, long chat with Director Vance. The case wasn't solved yet but it wasn't enough to keep everybody over night. Gibbs sent his team home on time. Both the DiNozzo children were out. Carson was at work and Gavriella was spending the day with friends of hers. The nurse had left for the evening. It was just Ziva, Tony, and John. Ziva was getting some fresh air now that the heat had died down a bit. Tony was sitting in the room watching John. Evening breathing treatments had been done and John had just completed his evening feed. He was changed but Tony figured there would be at least one emergency shower that night. He wondered what it wold be like to have a child like John. A child who had never eaten, walked, talked, gone to the bathroom on the potty, or played. A child who would never have his first date or get a job. A child who was slowly dying. They were making him comfortable. He could not help but shed a few tears.

"It's really not as sad as you think. It's tragic he's dying but his life is just our reality." Ziva explained.

"Don't you ever wish he wasn't disabled?" Tony asked.

"We used to but then we realized that we were wasting our time being sad. We never knew how much time we had with our John. We decided to just be happy with the time we had. Even if it isn't the life that we wanted." Ziva explained.

"That's what we do with Gavriella. At least what we try to do." Tony admitted.

"It will get easier but you have to let it." Ziva replied.

"I wish I wasn't so scared." Tony sighed.

"Me too" Ziva confessed.

* * *

It was official Carson's son was going to be adopted by Mendy Philps and Conway Powers. Carson had been present for the interview thanks to video chat but that was enough to not exactly like the couple. They seemed to be vain and self obsessed. They acted like the baby was just an accessory. Rochelle however was star-struck. Rochelle still adored "After School Special" and was even petitioning to have it rebooted. Even though the original cast was adamantly against it. She seemed to see Mendy and Conway as their characters. Though Royce was not that far off from Mendy.

"Isn't it great! Our son is going to be raised by royalty!" Rochelle cried as they talked via video chat.

"They aren't royalty. They are actors." Carson reminded.

"After School Special was royalty!" Rochelle squealed.

"Are you sure they really want this baby. They didn't seem to know much." Carson commented.

"No new parent does." Rochelle reminded.

"Yeah but they make you take classes before you can adopt. I looked up stuff adoptive parents are supposed to know. They didn't know anything." Carson explained.

"They were just nervous!" Rochelle snapped.

"Maybe but I wish you would at least think about it a little longer." Carson replied.

Once again Tony and Ziva were alone. This time all the children were home but they had gone to bed sometime ago. Tony and Ziva sat out on the back porch, Tony was perched on the railing looking up at the sky. Ziva leaned back in one of the chairs.

"You comfortable up there?" Ziva asked.

"She had the plague." Tony started.

"What? Who?" Ziva questioned.

"Well all three of us did. Me, Sofia, and Kate the girl who worked for Gibbs before you. We were all pretty sick but I was the sickest. Sofia and I started to get better. Kate even went home but she got sick again without warning. She fought but she was weakened by the initial battle. Her parents flew her back to Indiana and she died that night. My health has been steady but I still see Dr. Pitt twice a year. Sofia. My wife. She had some lasting health issues but she seemed to be OK. The doctors think that's why Gavriella was premature. Five years later after talking to multiple doctors. We decided to get pregnant again. It happened pretty quickly but around the fourth month. Sofia's health started to fail. She got double pneumonia and her lungs were not strong enough. They put her on life-support but she a HIE brain injury and ended up suffering a stroke. She was brain dead. They did a C-Section before ceasing life-support but Faith was too small to survive. They had a top of the line NICU but Faith weighed less than a pound and none of the machines fit her." Tony explained.

"I am sorry." Ziva apologized.

"I never told anybody how she died. At least nobody who didn't already know the story." Tony explained.

"I am glad that you trusted me." Ziva replied.

"I love you Ziva. I have to let you into my heart." Tony explained.

* * *

 **A/N: Tony is opening up to Ziva, that's always a good sign. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	22. Firsts

Summer eventually came to an end and found the DiNozzo's finally settled into their new life. Tony and McGee were going to counseling to work out their past issues. Ziva had accepted that she would not be able to adopt a baby but had gotten extremely attached to the DiNozzo children. Carson was working at Dairy Queen and working at having more respect for the opposite sex. Juliana had earned enough at her counselor job to purchase a car. A friend of Gibbs' gave her a deal. Gavriella was now involved in a computer club. John was stable and that was all anybody could ask.

* * *

Tony could not believe he was the father of a junior in high school and a middle school student. Gavriella was thrilled to start middle school and Carson well it only took five tries for Tony to get him out of bed. Days like today were the days that Tony most missed Sofa. He ached knowing she would not get to see Gavriella start middle school and Carson start his junior year. He could imagine how proud she would be of them. Today was also hard on him because of Faith. She would probably be starting kindergarten today. He had to fake a smile as he photographed his children. Carson had grown nearly a foot over the summer and now was a full inch taller than Tony. Gavriella had grown too but thankfully puberty had not made it's grand appearance just yet. Carson wore a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that read "GO AWAY". Gavriella wore a bright red blouse and a pair of khaki Capri pants. Both had grown up so much over the summer. It was not an easy thing for Tony to accept.

"Carson! I am ready to go!" Juliana called.

"Well that's my call. Man I can't wait until I can afford a car." Carson sighed.

"Oh my carpool is here!" Gavriella cried racing out the door.

* * *

The first day of school was always hard on Ziva as well. It was always hard to see the children John's age get on the bus and head off to school. It was hard knowing that he would never be a part of their group. This year was especially challenging, with Juliana being a senior. This time next year she would be heading off to college. Given John's health this would be the last year she saw children off to school period. At least she would be able to remain a part of the DiNozzo children's routine. Juliana left and ten minutes later John's bus arrived. Ziva stood at the end of the driveway. Even though this was the fourth year she had done it. She still cried when she handed John's diaper/medical bag off to his nurse. Instead of handing John his own backpack. This year John's nurse would be riding the bus with him due to his added medical needs.

"Goodbye baby boy. I will see you this afternoon." Ziva replied kissing her son on the cheek.

* * *

The David's were still living with the DiNozzo's. Even though the quarters were cramped it was also simply better for everybody. Ziva had extra hands and eyes to help with John. Juliana had a positive male influence and the DiNozzo children had a positive female influence in their home. Juliana and Gavriella were acting like sisters and Carson was actually getting along with the members of the David family. He would even sometimes go down and spend time with John.

"Thanks for letting us stay with you." Ziva said as they drove to work.

"It's no problem." Tony replied.

"Of course we will find a house as soon as we can." Ziva replied.

"No I honestly want this to be permanent. Yes it's crowded but I like the kids having a mom in the house. Besides it makes John's care easier on you." Tony explained.

"I like that Juliana has a father figure." Ziva replied.

"So we'll stay together?" Tony asked.

"Yes" Ziva confirmed.

* * *

Gavriella made her way down the hall. The middle school was four stories. With the offices and common rooms on the main floor. Sixth grade was on the second, seventh on third, and eighth were up at the top. Gavriella were purposefully learning the route she would make before the bell rang and the school flooded with students. The last thing she needed was to get lost or worse hurt. Then she would be in the cripple class on the first floor.

"Four legs!" A familiar voice shouted across the hall.

"Basketball!" Gavriella cried.

"I was hoping you would go here." Katie commented.

"I thought you lived in Fredrick." Gavriella commented.

"My dad did but I moved in with my mom. My dad's job transferred to Albany. I am closer to my mom now anyway but I was closer to my dad when the judge asked who I wanted to go with. Besides I really want to be with my mom. Because she's pregnant and I am finally getting a sister!" Katie cried.

"That's so cool!" Gavriella cried.

* * *

Juliana grabbed her backpack out of her locker. She was so glad the first day was finally over. She loved school but this year was not what she had wanted. She was too upset over John's illness to get excited. It was hard to enjoy senior year when your baby brother was dying. She would be starting her job today, working with kids like John. It was just a volunteer position for now but she had the oppurtunity for a paid position if she did well enough. She would be working at Hope's Club. A special after school club for severely disabled children. There was a daycare for disabled adults in the same building. Juliana was hoping to work full time in one of the facilities after she finished school.

"How's John?" Lynn asked.

"He's stable" Juliana replied.

"That's good" Lynn replied.

"Yeah" Juliana sighed.

"You still looking for a job? My cousin got me one at Hot Topic. They are still hiring. If you are interested." Lynn explained.

"I am working at Club Hope, just volunteer but I may get a paid position after holiday break if I do well enough." Juliana explained.

"Oh well I guess that is better for you. Good luck!" Lynn cried.

* * *

Carson scooped a wad of ice-cream into the cone. He handed the cone off to a frazzled woman, who handed it to her screaming toddler. He heard a hostile exchange between the mother and an old lady. Ending in the mother explaining the boy is diabetic and his blood sugar was dropping. Carson was glad the fight ended before he had to intervene. Moments later the door swung open and the junior high football team raced in. The room was filled with the smell of sweat, crude jokes, and children screaming orders at him. Carson was getting ready to blow his stack. When his manager exited the office.

"Carson!" Mr. Hughes called.

"I was just getting ready to deal with it, Mr. Hughes." Carson sighed.

"No kid it's the phone for you. Your girlfriend's dad." Mr. Hughes replied shakily.

"I'll call him back on my cell!" Carson cried, not wanting to tie up the store's line.

* * *

Mr. Hughes nodded and that's when Carson knew it was serious. Carson ducked into the break-room and withdrew his phone from his area. He stood against the far corner, not wanting to get caught on the phone by the assistant manager who was a real hardass.

"Hello, Mr. Warren"

"Carson there's something you need to know."

"What's up? Is Rochelle OK?"

"No… No she's not."

"What happened?"

"Carson there was an accident. Rochelle slipped in the shower. She started to fall on her stomach but caught herself. Unfortunately she shifted her weight and ended up falling backwards instead. She hit her head on the faucet. It hit just right. She damaged her brain-stem. We found her and called an ambulance."

"So is she going to be OK?"

"No, she… they did testing about an hour ago. We are going to do more tests later but they are almost positive that she is brain-dead."

"What about the baby?"

"The baby is still doing well. If Rochelle is brain-dead we will keep her on life-support until the baby is a little bigger. Techincally speaking he is viable now but it would still be a severely premature birth. They are hoping to get him at least another two weeks but they are hoping to make it to thirty-five."

* * *

Carson slid down the wall and collapsed onto the floor. His world had just come crashing down around him. Rochelle was brain-dead and his son was going to be born premature. He would be born almost three months early if he were born today. Carson's heart broke. Mr. Hughes must have heard him. Because he came in and tried to talk him down. He heard Mr. Hughes call somebody in to take his shift. Mr. Hughes must have called Tony too. Because the next thing he knew, his father was in the break-room cradling him like when he was small.

"Rochelle's dead dad." Carson sobbed.

"I know son and I have already made arrangements for you to fly out to LA so you can be there when he is born. Hetty is going to let you stay with her and I got you set up in the virtual school system. You can stay out there as long as you need and the Palmer's, agreed to keep an eye on your sister if you need me to join you." Tony explained.

"This can't be happening." Carson sobbed.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Baby Boy DiNozzo be born healthy? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	23. A New Life

Not being able to protect his children, from the cruelty of the world was the thing Tony hated most. The cruelty was part of why he sheltered Gavriella so much, but this thing with Carson made it painfully clear he could not protect them forever. His son was barely sixteen and had already lost a girl he loved Rochelle was brain dead. She would live only long enough to keep her unborn son alive. After that it was all over and then Carson had to deal with the fall out. At least they had already found a home for the baby, one less thing for Carson to worry about.

"How long with Carson be gone?" Gavriella asked.

"At least as long as Rochelle is on life support." Tony replied.

"Is the baby going to be OK?" Gavriella asked.

"I really don't know Gavriella but when I spoke with Rochelle's father. The baby was still doing really well." Tony explained.

"Will he be like me or John? If he does have to come early?" Gavriella asked.

"I don't know. Being premature does not necessarily mean being disabled. Unfortunately he will be at increased risk for Cerebral Palsy." Tony explained.

"Will his new family love him even if he is handicapped?" Gavriella asked.

"I am sure they will." Tony assured.

* * *

The flight out to California was not carefree like the one at the start of the summer. Carson did not flirt with any flight attendants, binge on snacks, or try to sneak into first class with the other teenage boy flying alone. This time he sat alone in his seat. The plane touched down and he grabbed the suitcase he had packed in a major panic. Unlike last time he packed mainly clothes for himself and the items he had already bought for his son. His laptop and cellphone were the only luxury items he brought. This would not be a fun trip. He was going to say goodbye to the mother of his child and maybe his child as well.

"Carson! Over here!" Hetty called.

"Hey Hetty" Carson greeted.

* * *

Hetty and Carson exited the airport in complete silence. The only sounds were the occasional overheard conversation and the sound of Carson's suitcase wheels on the tile. Somebody told Carson to enjoy his trip. Hetty gave the woman a glare and she quickly backed down. Carson could not help but smirk. The joy did not last long. Seconds later he was back in tears. They got to the car, Hetty opened the backdoor and Carson tossed his suitcase in the back. Before he would have raced to the driver's side and beg to drive her custom sports car. Instead he solemnly slid into the passenger seat. Hetty sat at the wheel and turned the car on without a sound.

"I am sorry for your loss." Hetty apologized.

"Rochelle didn't die. She is brain-dead but she is still alive." Carson corrected.

"I spoke with her father while I waited for you. She developed a fever during the night. Testing showed she had an infection. Her parents opted for an emergency C-Section. She died on the table. I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you." Hetty explained.

"My son? How is he?" Carson asked.

"He is in the NICU but doing well." Hetty replied.

* * *

Carson caught his breath as he looked around the NICU. He still could not believe that this was happening. Rochelle's parents had already left and terminated the parental rights and then left the hospital. They did not even seen their grandson. Carson still had his rights. He would until the new parents arrived but even then he could change his mind. He approached the incubator that held his newborn son. The baby was small and red, but Carson could see wisps of brown hair. The baby was covered by tubes and wires, and that was terrifying.

"He has a heart monitor, oxygen, and an NG tube. It's scary but he is actually doing great. Thankfully he was a little big for his age and his lungs are surprisingly strong." A nurse explained.

"Is he going to be OK?" Carson asked.

"Even with his good health, he is still fragile, but he is a fighter." Amanda explained.

"Is there anything I can do?" Carson asked.

"Babies respond well to touch. You can't hold him just yet but you can touch him through the incubator with the gloves." Amanda explained.

* * *

Ziva and the kids were asleep but Tony was wide awake. Sleep was impossible for the Senior Field Agent. Carson had called to inform him that Rochelle had died from an infection in her brain. The baby had been born via emergency C-Section but was doing remarkably well. Carson was pretty shaken by the events and still waiting on the adoptive parents to arrive. Tony was planning on flying out to LA for the weekend. Though Gibbs said he could leave sooner and stay longer if the baby took a turn for the worst or if Carson needed him.

* * *

Carson was sleeping on the couch of the NICU's waiting room. He did not care if the baby was not hectically his son. He wanted to be there. Somebody should be, Mendy and Conway were shooting a movie in Africa. They had not even bothered to get in touch. Despite the adoption agency's frantic calls. The social worker reminded Carson that cell service was spoty in Africa. As if either of those two would be anywhere they could not use their phones. They were always posting selfies and pictures of their latest endeavor. Carson woke in the middle of the night to his phone ringing. His heart flipped, he dreaded more bad news.

"Hello?"

"Am I speaking to Mr. Carson DiNozzo?"

"Yes"

"This is Rhonda Miller, from Fostering Hope."

"What's going on?"

"I am afraid I have some bad news for you."

"What now?"

"I just got a call from Mendy and Conway Powers, and it seems they no longer want to adopt your baby."

"Why? Because he was premature? Because he may have special needs? My sister has special needs and so does the son of my dad's girlfriend. They are amazing."

"It's not that. It seems that Mendy and Conway met a group of siblings in an orphanage, in Africa. They just fell in love. They are adopting five kids ranging from ten years to thee months old. They cannot handle a sixth baby."

"So they just meet random kids in Africa and decide to give up on the baby they already promised to adopt? What's going to happen to the five they are adopting if "something better" comes along? Can they really be trusted?"

"I am afraid that is how some people are. They see children as accessories and not people. It happens with genetic children too. The Powers' will definitely be barred from attempting to adopt through this agency again."

* * *

 **A/N What will Carson do about his son? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	24. Buddy

Here's what Tony knew so far. He knew that he had a grandson, he knew the boy weighed three pounds and seven ounces and measured fifteen inches long. He knew that the boy was surprisingly healthy but still very weak. He also knew that the parents had backed out and that Carson was furious. He knew that Carson was searching desperately for an adoptive family and would not be returning home until he found a suitable home. It was Friday morning and he would be flying out to meet his grandson that afternoon.

"When are you flying out?" Ziva asked.

"Two" Tony replied.

"How are Carson and the baby?" Ziva asked.

"Carson is still really freaked out by everything and the baby is doing well. They tried extubating him but he is not ready. He is starting to take a little milk though. I guess one of the other NICU mom's donated her milk." Tony explained.

"I did that after John. We knew he'd spend at least a little time in the NICU and I had already pumped two gallons before we realized John could not eat by mouth. I pumped for about a month but eventually it was too much. John was so sick. We were preparing for goodbye more often than not. I mean everyday we were told "this is the day." They were sure he was going to die and he should have. He really should have. They have no explanation for why he survived." Ziva explained.

"Gavriella was born early but she did not take tolerate breast milk. She was on the NG tube for two months. By the time she could eat and the doctors were sure she did not have allergies. Sofia had already dried up. She had heard of donating milk but she could not donate due to having the plague. Even though it was years before." Tony explained.

* * *

Carson sat in his usual spot in the NICU. His son was doing great but there was still a long road ahead. He looked at the paper plaque at the end of the incubator. It still read simply "Baby Boy DiNozzo". People would read the card and assume the lack of a name meant that Baby Boy was dying. Apparently that was still a thing. Being told to not bother giving the sick baby a name. Carson thought that was just a product his historical fiction but he had heard apologies and various opinions. He however tried to just ignore the words of others. He was wanting to focus on his son. Rochelle's funeral was the day before. He attended and met her new boyfriend. That was the only time he had left the hospital. He wanted to raise his son but knew it would actually be harder when his son was home. At least in the hospital there were devoted nurses and volunteers to dote on the baby. Once Baby Boy was well, Carson would be on his own.

"Hey buddy, I am trying to find you a home. Not many people want a preemie. They don't know what the future holds and they don't want to get attached. I get that. Still I wish that somebody cared. I at least want to give you a name but even that is too hard for me to do on my own." Carson explained.

* * *

Tony was on the plane out to LA. One more hour and he would meet his grandson. Hetty had said that Carson was refusing to leave the hospital. Even when she offered him her mansion just to himself. It warmed Tony's heart to see how devoted his son was. It also broke his heart. He knew that bonding with the baby would make it even harder for Carson to give him up. He also knew that Carson was not ready to raise a baby. Especially one who may be disabled and/or medically fragile. The plane touched down and Tony was surprised to meet Sam at the airport.

"Sam?" Tony questioned.

"Hetty had to take Callen to the hospital." Sam explained.

"Is he OK?" Tony asked.

"Some routine procedure. Apparently Callen was supposed to have it done a while ago but well you know how Callen is." Sam explained.

"Difficult?" Tony guessed.

"Oh yeah" Sam laughed.

"Has Hetty said anything about Carson?" Tony asked.

"She finally got him to leave the hospital. They are out now." Sam explained.

"Good" Tony replied.

* * *

Tony and Sam arrived to the hospital. Sam had to get Carmen from school, so he dropped Tony and then left. Tony waved goodbye and then rushed up to the NICU. This was the exact NICU where Gavriella had spent her first months. Now his grandson was fighting the same fight his daughter had fought. He just prayed that the baby was as strong as his aunt. Tony checked in at the desk and explained who he was. He received a visitors pass and was given a quick check before he could enter the NICU. A nurse guided him to his grandson. The baby reminded him so much of Gavriella. So small but so determined. Hooked to an oxygen tank, with a feeding tube in his nose. He was red but his pigment looked great for how small he was.

"Hey buddy, I am your grandfather." Tony introduced.

* * *

For the first time since he was a small boy, Carson DiNozzo was relieved to see his father. He walked to his son's area and took a seat beside his father and his son. He reached over and placed his hand on the incubator. His dad reached over and placed his hand on Carson's knee.

"The Powers' backed out." Carson explained.

"I know son." Tony replied.

"What am I supposed to do?" Carson asked.

"Ziva wanted to adopt. She can't adopt through the agency but they said she could still consider a private adoption." Tony explained.

"How would she afford it?" Carson asked.

"I still have some of you and Gavriella's baby things. I couldn't bear to let go. Living with us takes a huge burden off of her and plus then you would still get to be with your son." Tony explained.

"You don't mind her staying with us?" Carson asked.

"It is actually better for everybody. Even if Ziva does not adopt the baby." Tony replied.

"Do you think Ziva will go for it?" Carson asked.

"I will ask her." Tony replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Ziva step up to adopt Carson's baby? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	25. Chapter 25

Ziva had climbed onto the hospital bed beside John. She had not done this for months, not since the last major hospital stay. She was terrified of accidentally pulling out the breathing tube. Even though she had been heavily trained in that exact situation. It was the last thing she wanted to encounter. Well not the last thing. It was the last thing could even think of that she wanted to happen. John was having a good day. A day that just a few months ago would have been OK bordering on bad. That's how far his condition had dropped thanks to the pneumonia and meningitis. She looked at him and wondered how long he would be here. Her mind drifted to Tony's call that morning. How he had offered to help her adopt Carson's baby. She had to admit it was what she wanted but she wondered if it was happening at the right time.

"How would you feel about being a big brother?" Ziva asked, even though she knew she would not get a response. Most times John did not even know she was there.

* * *

Later on in the evening Ziva and Juliana were on their nightly walk. John was having a good day and the conditions were good. So he was on his first walk since being admitted to the hospital. Juliana was pushing her brother's chair and Ziva walked beside them. Gavriella followed behind playing with the camera she had gotten. John was half asleep in his chair. He was never fully awake anymore. At least not for long.

"Juliana I have something I would like to discuss with you." Ziva replied.

"Everything OK? I know John has an appointment tomorrow." Juliana asked.

"He is the same as he's been. He just has a check up." Ziva replied.

"Then what do you want to talk about?" Juliana asked.

"Tony called me from California this morning." Ziva started.

"Everything OK with Carson and the baby?" Juliana asked.

"They are doing good. The thing is Carson and Tony want me to adopt the baby." Ziva explained.

"You want to adopt Carson's baby?" Juliana asked.

"I am considering it. What do you think?" Ziva asked.

"I think that you are trying to replace John and it pisses me off." Juliana replied.

"I am not trying to replace John. Adoption is something that your father and I, always wanted to do. After I got pregnant with John. We agreed to begin the process after John's first birthday. It can be up to a year between the start of the process and actually being on the waiting list. We figured there would be two to three years between John and the new baby. In our mind that was perfect. John and the baby would be close in age, and you would be old enough to help us out. While still young enough to really play with the babies. Then John was born with so many problems and needed so much care. We decided it would not be fair to the baby we were going to adopt, John, but especially you. We considered pursuing adoption when you were older. At the age where you did not need us so much but also mature enough to help out with John and a baby. Then your father died and John's condition kept changing. I decided that our family was complete. Now I don't know. With you getting ready to go to college and John. Not going to be here much longer. I don't know. I think I need one more child in my life. One more that will leave me. The way he is supposed to." Ziva explained.

"But that kid is premature. He is still not out of the woods. He may have the same problems as John and then what?" Juliana explained.

"I don't know. I am still just thinking about it." Ziva replied.

* * *

Juliana was right. Carson's baby was still fragile and he may end up having the same problems as John. That could mean she faced a second loss. If the child was disabled but still lived a long life. She would be faced with the fear she dreaded with John. The fear of what she would do when she was unable to care for the baby. Juliana would care for John but she was not happy with this baby. She knew it may take time but what if they never bonded? Then what would become of her boy? Still Carson's baby needed a home and if he were disabled. That could really hinder the adoption process. A boy in John's class had Cerebral Palsy, lung disease, epilepsy, and a list of other complications. He had been placed for adoption at birth. Even though he appeared to be a healthy baby. All conditions were known by six months of age and the parents had surrendered the boy by his first birthday. He spent nine years in foster care before finally being adopted. Ziva could not stand the idea of Carson's son enduring that heartache. She also knew that Carson would always wonder about his son. Juliana would get used to this. She would have to as well. She did not know what the future brought but she knew she had to do the right thing. She took out her cellphone and first dialed Tony's number.

"It's DiNozzo"

"Tony it's me Ziva."

"Ziva? What's up?"

"I'll do it."

* * *

Carson sat in his usual spot. The night before had been rough but Baby Boy was doing better. Carson prayed he stayed on this track. He knew it could still go either way. Maybe his son would be better off with Rochelle but he could not stand the idea of losing a child.

"Ziva said she would adopt the baby." Tony announced.

"So is she going to fly out here or will she not meet her baby until he is released from the hospital? Because that could be months." Carson asked.

"We talked about that and since Baby Boy is stable. We are awaiting approval to fly him closer to home." Tony explained.

* * *

 **A/N: Ziva meets her son in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	26. New Family

Arrangements were made for Baby Boy DiNozzo to be flown back to DC. Gibbs had helped arrange a private plane to fly Carson and Baby Boy home. Tony returned on the commercial flight as planned. Baby Boy was stable but a nurse still accompanied the flight and plans were set in case an emergency arose. Thankfully the plans were not needed and Baby Boy arrived safely in his new home. He was taken to DC Children's Hospital and immediately placed in the NICU. The flight had worn him out and his levels were not as strong as they had been. Though the doctors assured it was likely just stress and he would bounce back soon.

* * *

Ziva was at an appointment with John and Carson was enjoying his last moments alone with his son. Once Ziva arrived she would bond with Baby Boy. Then first thing in the morning a lawyer would arrive with the paperwork. That would terminate Carson's rights and make Ziva the mother. He felt better about Ziva than he did about Mendy and Conway but it still was not going to be easy. How do you just sign away a child?

"You're new family is coming soon. I am going to go home and get some rest. That way your new mom can get to know you. Don't she's a great lady and she won't give up on you. See you were supposed to go to another family but they backed out at the last minute. Their loss, you are a great kid. I'm not just saying that cause you are mine or your mom's. You are just a one hundred percent, all around great kid. I love you." Carson explained.

* * *

John had his appointment at DC Children's, the same hospital Baby Boy was admitted too. Originally the plan was for Juliana to take her brother home. While Ziva headed down to the NICU to get to know her newest son. That all changed when they got the results of John's tests back. Now John was admitted to the cardiac ward and Juliana was refusing to leave his side. Ziva meanwhile was riding the elevator down to the NICU. She was wondering if she had made the right choice or if she should tell Carson she could not do this. Except she could not do that. The paperwork had not been signed yet but she had already made the promise to Carson. She could not let another family turn that sweet boy away. Bad enough Carson and Rochelle COULDN'T raise him. Did his original adoptive family have to reject him as well? This decision was a bit like stepping off the high dive. Once you took that last step there was no going back. No matter how hard you tried. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. One step closer to the edge. She headed for the large center room and soon found Carson, with Baby Boy. He was tiny but had such determination in his eyes.

"Carson I am here. I am sorry I am late. John is admitted upstairs and I needed to take care of some business." Ziva apologized.

"Is he going to be OK?" Carson asked.

"I don't know." Ziva replied.

"It's not too late." Carson offered.

"No Carson I want to do this. I need to do this." Ziva assured.

"Well I should go." Carson replied.

"No tell me about your son." Ziva replied.

"He's four pounds even. They said that's pretty good for how early he was. When we left the ventilator was working at fifty percent but now it's seventy. He had a mild setback because of the travel. His little heart is strong and he's been kicking like crazy." Carson explained.

"He's precious. Does he have a name yet?" Ziva asked.

"Not yet but I have a few ideas." Carson replied.

"Like what?" Ziva asked.

"Labron, Shaq, Scotty, Michael, Wilt, Kareem, oh and Jason." Carson explained.

"Which basketball star is Jason?" Ziva asked picking up on the theme.

"I just like the name Jason." Carson laughed.

* * *

For the first time in over a week Carson was sleeping in his own room. He was curled up on his bed with his stuffed T-Rex, Frosty. He knew it was weird to still have stuffed animals at sixteen but Frosty was special. Frosty was the last thing his mom ever bought for him. They had gone to the science museum with his fifth grade class. Carson had wanted the Junior Scientist kit. Not that he was big into science back then but the kit contained just about everything you needed to make a stink bomb. It was school tradition and legend. That one student would buy the kit and set the bomb off at graduation. The kid who did it would be King. That was Carson's dream. Unfortunately Melville Cochran found the kit first and bought it. What was worse Sofia bought him a stuffed T-Rex in front of all his friends. Because "He just adored T-Rexes, when he was tiny. He would draw them on his diapers." Carson had wanted to die. _Death_. Carson had come to hate that word. His mom was dead, his baby sister was dead, his first real girlfriend was dead, so many of his dad's co-workers were dead. John was going to die and his son might die. He thought about when he first found out Rochelle was pregnant. She had said that she had miscarried but was still pregnant. Whether the baby survived or not. He did have a dead kid. If his son died, he had two dead kids.

* * *

Relieved to finally have a moment of peace after rushing between wards all afternoon and evening. Ziva cradled her new son. Technically he wasn't her son yet, but he would be soon. He had stabilized after a while but he was still so frail. Still there was the fight in his eyes. She stroked his hair and looked into his eyes. He snuggled up close to her and cooed in her arms. Her mind went back to the conversation she'd had with Carson. She had a few ideas on names but she also wanted to use one of Carson's. She shook her head as she recalled the list. She wasn't a sports fan, at least not a big one. She knew that most of the list was basketball stars but not much more than that. She did not want to go through eighteen years pretending she knew career averages and other factoids. Her mind went to the final name Carson had suggested, Jason. Jason David. It had a nice ring to it. Now she just needed a middle name. She thought about Anthony but that was Tony's name to use. Though she was pretty sure Carson's middle name was Anthony. Then she thought of Daniel but did she really want to name her kid after her dead husband. She dozed off for a bit and that's when it hit her.

"Shalom, Jason Isiah David" Ziva cooed.

* * *

 **A/N: What do you think of the name? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	27. Life and Death

The past few days had been complicated and conflicted for Ziva. Jason Isiah had stabilized and was doing great. John Daniel however had taken a serious downturn and remained extremely critical. They did not have much hope for him. The doctors and nurses were amazing on both floors though. Juliana spent every moment available with John but had not yet been up to the NICU. Ziva knew it would take time and part of her wondered if she had done the wrong thing. Even after the papers were signed and Jason Isiah had officially become her son.

"Did Juliana come today?" Tony asked as he shared a crappy hospital meal with her.

"No she still hates this idea. I don't know… maybe this was the wrong idea." Ziva replied.

"You can't let kids call the shots like that. What if you had gotten pregnant? Would you get an abortion, if she did not want a baby?" Tony questioned.

"Well I support a woman's right to choose but no. Why on Earth would I do that?" Ziva demanded.

"That's my point. Jason is here and Juliana will either get used to it or not." Tony explained.

"What if she doesn't? I don't want her to hate me." Ziva asked.

"She won't hate you. This is a rough time for her too. She just needs time." Tony assured.

* * *

Juliana sat protectively by her brother's side. When she was younger and less understanding she wanted her mom to have another baby. Because she wanted a sibling she could play with and John could not play. Now she loved her brother just the way he was and she did not want to love any other sibling. She wanted John. Now he was dying and her mom did not seem to care one bit.

"Your mom really does love John." Tony explained.

"Then why did she replace him?" Juliana demanded.

"She did not replace him. Jason needed a family. She doubted this for a long time but there is a chance John will have issues too. If he does your mom is ready to take care of him." Tony explained.

"Still she should be spending more time with John." Juliana countered.

"She is dividing up her time as best she can." Tony insisted.

* * *

Tony returned home and found Carson lying on the couch watching TV. Not knowing how long he would be in California, Carson had forfeited his job at Dairy Queen. He was looking for another job but it had only been a few days.

"Any news?" Tony asked.

"I have an interview tomorrow after school." Carson replied.

"Where?" Tony asked.

"Wendy's" Carson replied.

"That would be a good fit." Tony replied.

"If I get it." Carson sighed.

"Where's Gavriella?" Tony asked.

"Upstairs in her room." Carson replied, pointing up.

"Are you OK?" Tony asked.

"I think I'm depressed." Carson admitted.

"About everything that happened with Rochelle and Jason?" Tony asked.

"That hasn't helped but no I've been like this for a while." Carson explained.

"How long?" Tony asked.

"Since mom died." Carson admitted.

"Yeah me too." Tony confessed.

"How do you handle it?" Carson asked.

"I have a few coping techniques but I also go to therapy once a week. I used to go a lot more often. I was going twice a week when we moved, but now I am down to once." Tony explained.

* * *

Ziva had returned to the room of her oldest son. It was officially happening, John's organs were shutting down. They had stopped all medications accept for pain management. Once Juliana was ready they would remove the trach and it would be a matter of time. Sometimes end stage patients would rally and briefly breathe on their own but it never lasted long. Especially given the state of John's lungs. Hours to days were all he had. Even with the aide of the ventilator. Even if Ziva had not stopped treatments.

"I love you, John. Juliana does too and so does your new brother. Soon you will be free and back with your Abba. I will never forget about you." Ziva told her oldest son.

* * *

The next morning Ziva made the decision that her sons needed to meet. She spoke with the staff on both floors and it was soon arranged. The NICU staff moved Jason to a private room and the Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, staff transferred John to a gurney and wheeled him up. To Ziva's surprise Juliana agreed to be there. Ziva carefully lifted Jason from his crib and carried him over to the bed where John lay. Juliana adjusted John's arms and then Ziva carefully placed Jason on his chest. John instantly relaxed and for the first time in weeks, he opened his bright blue eyes. He smiled weakly and then fell back asleep. Jason snuggled close to his brother. Juliana snapped a picture of both moments. Then Ziva got a picture of all three of her children together. Then a nurse got a family picture. Before too long Jason needed to be returned to his crib. Ziva walked over to John's bed and placed her hand on her son's chest. She quickly pulled it back and let out a small scream. The nurse rushed back into the room to see what was the matter.

"His heart stopped!" Ziva screamed.

"Are you sure?" Ruby asked.

"Yes" Ziva whimpered.

* * *

Ruby walked over to John's side. First she placed her hand on his chest, it was still. She placed her stethoscope on his chest and the ear pieces into her ears. There was not even a faint heart beat. Ruby lowered the stethoscope and solemnly shook head. Ziva had signed the DNR months ago and there was no going back. Ruby called for a doctor. Moments later Dr. James entered the room and approached John's bed.

"Time of death four, thirteen, pm." Dr. James declared.

* * *

Tony cradled Ziva in his arms. Between Carson admitting that he was depressed and hearing of the death of John David. It had been a beyond painful day. Ziva was broken and Juliana was inconsolable. Tony was still in shock. He could not believe that John was gone. He knew it would happen soon but he didn't expect it this soon. He knew that terminal patients would hang around for a special event. Tony could not help but wonder if John had been waiting for his brother. Now that Ziva had something to devote her attention to. He decided it was time to let go.

"Oh Tony" Ziva sobbed.

"I'm here." Tony assured.

"I feel so empty. I thought Jason would fill the void. He helps but my heart has been ripped in half. I miss my boy." Ziva sobbed.

"I do too." Tony whispered holding him close.

* * *

 **A/N: Heavy chapter but Tony has Ziva's back. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	28. Aching Hearts

Hebrew tradition meant that John would be buried soon after death. Ziva arranged for a short and private burial. Just family and close friends. They would have a public memorial service, at a later date. It was not even arranged and Ziva was already dreading the memorial service. If Daniel's parents could make it in time. She would bury John and try her hardest to move past the pain.

* * *

Tony did not even offer to go to the funeral home to see John's body. He knew that was a moment only for Ziva and Juliana. It was an intimate family moment, just for the mother and sister. While the pair was gone he cleaned up John's room. He did not take anything away or make any major changes. He just moved the boxes he had placed on the floor. People had been delivering supplies ever since they heard about Jason. The baby stuff had been kept in Ziva and John's room but Tony moved everything up to his room. He had changed the soiled sheets. When he was still expecting John to come home again. However the clothes sat on the floor. He moved them into a Ziploc bag. He even replaced John's last sheets. Once the room was how Ziva and John had left it. He retreated from the room and headed to his own. He sorted through the box of clothes and supplies mostly too large for his grandson.

"Are those for Jason?" Carson asked.

"Yeah most of this won't fit him for a while but Ziva will appreciate it." Tony explained.

"Where is she?" Carson asked.

"At the funeral home. The funeral is at two. You don't have to come but if you do your suit is in your closet." Tony explained.

* * *

For the first time in nearly nine years, Ziva saw her son without medical equipment. No more tubes or wires connected to IV's and monitors. No more clothes that fit around the equipment and no more diapers. He just looked like a normal child. A child who had not suffered his entire life. It was killing her but her son was finally free. No more equipment, no more procedures. No more pain, seizures, or spiked fevers. No more speeding ambulances at all hours of the day. No more extended stays in the ICU. No more being limited in what he could do. He could finally eat real food, run, and play. He could use whatever playground equipment or toys he wanted. No more drives to the playground for medically fragile children. He could do whatever he wanted, he could move on his own. The pain was finally over for him but it was only beginning for Ziva and Juliana.

"He looks so peaceful." Juliana commented.

"He does." Ziva agreed

* * *

Juliana stood alone with her brother's body. He was at peace but that did not make losing him any easier. Her mom had seemingly mourned while John was still alive. They had known forever, that he would not be around for long. Juliana had been in denial almost as long. She was sure that there would be a miracle or that this was a big mistake. She was sure that John would live a full life. She was fully prepared to care for him after Ziva died. It did not happen that way. John died eighteen days before his ninth birthday. He died in a hospital bed bound by machines and in the presence of the child who was replacing him. So that was it. Not even nine years where nobody even tried to help him. Basically suffocating because they refused to up his vent settings. On a hard and cold gurney. So that Ziva could get her picture perfect family moment. If Jason were so stable. Why wasn't he moved down to the heart ward? Why did John have to die? Why did nobody try to save him?

"Juli, people are starting to arrive." Ziva informed her.

"Who? Your boyfriend and his pervert son? Your friends from work who never visited John? The nurse who smiled as she told you about hospice? The doctors did not even try to give him life? They just let him die? The baby who you bought to replace him?" Juliana demanded.

"It is just Tony's family and a few of my co-workers." Ziva confirmed.

"Where are grandpa and grandma? Don't they care? Juliana asked.

"They are flying out next week. Donald does not travel well and that is the soonest respite care will be available." Ziva explained.

"Oh so they are warehousing there disabled son. Of course grandma never cared. That's why she didn't let grandpa fight for custody when Donald's mom put him in that horrid home." Juliana spat.

"It was not easy for a father to get custody back in the seventies. Especially if the mother's family had money." Ziva explained.

"Still why don't they bring Donald? Yes bringing him would be a challenge but he deserves better than to just be abandoned at a home." Juliana questioned.

"Travel is extremely stressful on Donald and he hates funerals. You were only too small to remember but he had a major, major meltdown and your great grandmother's funeral. They had call the police and he spent the night in the hospital. He already goes to respite about once a month and he adores it. It's a really nice facility. They have a pool, a nature walk, basketball court, and really big bathtubs. That is Donald's favorite thing." Ziva explained.

"That sounds pretty but are grandma and grandpa sure it's safe? Are they sure he gets the best care? Remember that boy from John's school who died? At the supposedly so wonderful and perfect respite facility." Juliana asked.

"Grandma and Grandpa did months of research before enrolling Donald in their respite program. They are so satisfied they are waiting for space to keep him there full time." Ziva explained.

"I thought they saved him from a home! Why are they forcing him into another one!" Juliana demanded.

"Juli grandpa is nearly ninety and grandma cannot handle Donald on her own." Ziva replied.

"What about Uncle Stu?" Juliana asked.

"Aunt Karen has end stage MS and needs his care. Karen is staying with her sister for the week. So don't say terrible things about Stu." Ziva explained.

"What about us?" Juliana asked.

"Your dad and I talked about that but with all the care John needed. It just wasn't the best idea." Ziva explained.

"What about now? And don't say Jason? Because I say you send that piece of shit away and spare Donald from an institution." Juliana insisted.

"It's not that simple. Donald would have to move across the country and we would have to set up care for him. He cannot be alone even for a minute. He is non verbal, totally incontinent, nonverbal. He does not process pain properly and impulsive. He harms himself, has seizures and is extremely aggressive during meltdowns." Ziva explained.

"Aside from being able to walk and fight. He is just like John we could have cared for him!" Juliana snapped.

"Juli I would have had to put John in a home eventually if he had lived. Once he got too large for me to lift." Ziva explained tears welling up in his eyes.

"I knew you never cared for him. You never cared for John and nobody cares about Donald. I bet Aunt Karen is in a nursing home. Disabled people are just trash for people like you. Well not to me! To me they are people!" Juliana snapped before storming out of the funeral home.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Ziva be able to show Juliana she cared? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	29. Life Goes On

Juliana had not spoken to anyone since the funeral. She just stayed up in her room and listened to sad songs on Pandora. She could be heard crying but that was the only sound she made. Even her friends had stopped hearing from her. Ziva had given up after the first day. She knew what her daughter needed was space. Juliana would come around when she was ready. She would only intervene if Juliana threatened suicide. So far Juliana was just crying and deeply mourning the loss of her brother.

"Is she doing any better today?" Tony asked after Ziva came down from delivering Juliana's breakfast.

"She actually took the tray today. I think that's progress." Ziva replied.

"Are you going to get her therapy? Carson's doctor is amazing and I think she has room for more patients. If not her partner is just as amazing." Tony explained.

"I'm going to give her a week. Then I am going to make her get help. Whether she comes out of her room or not." Ziva explained.

* * *

Tony returned to work four days after John's death. Even though several days had passed and Ziva would not be back for at least another week, the mood was still somber. Somebody had draped a thin black cloth over John's picture. Tony studied the photograph that sat on Ziva's desk. It was John's kindergarten class picture. He was obviously handicapped; sitting in a wheelchair with straps supporting his trunk. Still his eyes were bright and he had a smile. Not an obvious grin but he was smiling. It was a cruel reminder what the seizures and high fevers had done. Making him weaker and weaker. Until he was bound to a bed and relying on a machine to breathe. The medical conditions that had robbed John of life could not hurt him any longer.

"That was right before he got sick. He had a hundred and three degree fever for two days straight and three grand mal seizures. He should have died then but he kept going. Though he was never the same. His body just could never catch up." Jethro explained.

"That's what Ziva said." Tony replied.

"Juliana had the flu right before that. She was staying with me but she wanted her iPod or something like that. I guess she touched something of John's and Ziva didn't know. After that Juliana just became super overprotective of John. She blamed herself." Jethro explained.

"I never knew that." Jethro replied.

* * *

Ziva cradled Jason in her arms. He was doing well and she was praying that would remain the case. She could not bare the thought of losing another child. Jason's cries sent a chill down Ziva's spine. It reminded her of how John cried. She soon determined the source of John's cries and called for a nurse. Who brought a fresh diaper. Ziva carefully changed the tiny diaper and let out a small gag. Even though she had been changing diapers for the better part of sixteen years. Jason filled a lot of diapers for such a little guy. Of course he also ate a lot for a little guy. Though Ziva knew for a fact that was his DiNozzo blood. It amazed her how much Tony, Carson, and Gavriella ate. Jason was just the same.

"He is certainly a healthy little fella. In fact I think he will be home before you knew it." Karen explained.

"I hope so. It is weird at home now. I need distraction." Ziva explained.

"I cannot imagine. Gaining one son and then losing another just a few days later." Karen replied.

"It hasn't been easy but my life never has been." Ziva replied.

* * *

Juliana glared out the window. At least they had stopped trying to talk her down using kind words to distract from the horrible ones Ziva had used. She was infuriated to know that her mother was going to put John in a home. What kind of monster just threw their child away? Why could she not just care for John on her own? Why was caring for people so hard? Her mind shifted from John to her Uncle Donald. Donald was severely autistic. He had the worst from of autism you could have. Juliana had only met him twice but she remembered liking him. Even though sometimes he would have meltdowns or did unpredictable things. He was still a sweet man and did not deserve to just be locked away. The doctors were saying Jason was a healthy baby. He could find a home with another loving family but without Ziva. Donald would have to spend the rest of his life in a home. Juliana could not sit with that. She knew what she had to do. She opened her laptop, clicked on Microsoft Word, typed a note, and left the laptop open and plugged in. She quickly changed her settings to no longer require a password. Before grabbing her go bag and leaving her room without looking back.

" _I am going to Ohio to save_ _Donald. Maybe you guys do not care about him but I do. I will figure something out until I turn eighteen next year. Juliana David"_

* * *

Tony had joined Ziva in the NICU. John only needed to gain a couple of pounds and remain stable. Before being moved to a crib, in a private room. For now Jason was in a pod room with three other premature babies. They were all like John, too small for the crib but stable.

"I am starving. Want to grab dinner while Jason is sleeping?" Ziva asked.

"If you want to." Tony replied.

"I am so sick of hospital food." Ziva laughed.

"Me too" Tony agreed.

"I can't complain though. I am doing what I must for my son." Ziva replied.

"Still I think we need to have a real date." Tony replied.

"I know we have been together for months. It was just so hard to leave John. Especially at the end. It's the same with Jason but he should be home soon." Ziva explained.

"When will that be?" Tony asked.

"Maybe when he is five pounds if not it will be around his due date." Ziva explained.

"Here's hoping it's sooner rather than later." Tony replied.

"Here's hoping" Ziva agreed.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Juliana be caught in time? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	30. On The Run

It was Carson who discovered Juliana missing. Tony had tasked him with getting food for himself and the girls. Gavriella wanted tacos but he was feeling Chinese. He figured that Juliana could be the tie breaker or at least help find common ground. He knocked on the door but got no response. He knocked again and tugged at the knob. To his surprise the door was unlocked. He carefully turned the knob and shoved slightly. That door tended to stick but Tony never got around to getting it fixed. He was surprised to see Juliana gone but figured she had actually gone out. He dialed her cell number and heard it ring. He found it on the desk, beside her laptop. Now he was really worried. Juliana never went anywhere without her phone. At least she hadn't when John was alive. Her laptop dinged indicating that she had received an email. He gave one last look around. Before succumbing to curiosity and jiggling the mouse. A word document popped up and again he gave into curiosity.

" _I am going to Ohio to save Donald. Maybe you guys do not care about him but I do. I will figure something out until I turn eighteen next year. Juliana David"_

* * *

Now Carson knew there was real trouble. Juliana was not the type of girl to just runaway, without reason. Who was Donald and why did she need to save him? The only Donald that Carson could think of was Dr. Mallard. Of course there were others but he was the one Juliana knew as well. It made sense but Dr. Mallard was still in DC and in no peril. Maybe Donald was somebody from John's school, but why Ohio? Could she really make it to Ohio?

* * *

Juliana bought a cheap bus ticket to Ohio. It meant riding in the middle seat in the back row of a crowded greyhound The bathroom door was basically right in her face and the smell was making her sick. It would all be worth it to save Donald. She grabbed the bottle of pills she had stolen. She felt terrible stealing from her mother. Especially given that these pills were meant to get her sleep cycle back on track. After years of having to sleep around when John was stable and being forced awake at a moment's notice. Ziva's sleep cycle was ruined. The doctors prescribed the pills to give her peace and normalcy. Ziva hadn't taken any pills, so Juliana wasn't totally in the wrong. Well stealing pills was a major crime. Juliana had been reading literature and threatening poster's since John's NICU days. Then again she needed to sleep too. That was enough justification for her heart. She swallowed two pills with the hot fruit punch she had purchased from the skeevy convenience store just outside the station. The pills put her to sleep and she did not wake up until a large man was shaking her awake.

"End of the line kiddo." The man announced.

"Where are we?" Juliana asked.

"Pennsylvania, it's time to change buses." The man replied.

* * *

Ziva was scared to death. Her daughter had been missing for at least five hours. That was how much time had passed between Carson finding her gone and the current time. Carson had called the LEO's and due to the circumstances, she was already classified as "An endangered runaway". Normally so many hours had to pass but that changed as soon as they learned Juliana was suicidal.

"That was the police." Ziva announced grimly.

"Is everything OK?" Juliana asked.

"Remember how when we called the bank to check Juliana's card activity and they said she bought a bus ticket?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah" Tony replied.

"The cops said the bank called them back and informed them the card had been reported stolen. Right after every penny was withdrawn. Tony I think somebody got my baby and took her money." Ziva explained.

"Ziva I have been a cop for decades. You will not believe how many times runaways will take all their money out of the bank and then report the card stolen. That way they have cash but they are untraceable. At least they assume they are." Tony explained.

"True but Juliana is smarter than that. Oh Tony. I think I lost a second baby. I cannot cope with this. She was my baby. My baby." Ziva sobbed.

"Keep a good thought. You are not alone." Tony whispered.

* * *

Juliana knew withdrawing all of her cash and then reporting the card stolen was pretty stupid but at least it kept her safe. It also meant having to buy a new ticket. She knew they would know the original had been bought with a stolen ticket. She bought a new ticket, claiming she was traveling to a college tour and had lost her ticket. The clerk even gave her a massive discount. She had to wait two hours for the second bus, and used that time to buy the cheapest phone she could find. It was one of the small ones with a real keypad. There was no flip, no camera, no internet, and texting was near impossible. She didn't even think they made phones like that anymore. She would not be able to activate it until she got to a shelter and she was not going to give anybody she knew her number. She fell back asleep and again did not wake until the bus came to a stop. She grabbed her go bag and exited the bus. She had no idea what time it was and even less of an idea of where she should go.

"You got a place to stay tonight?" A man asked.

"I'm not a whore." Juliana replied shakily.

"I would hope not. I am a pastor and it is my night to bring people in to the shelter. Typically we lock the door at eight but there's a storm coming tonight." The man explained.

"I have money for a hotel. I am in town to visit my uncle and my bus got in late." Juliana explained.

"I will take you to Motel Six." The man replied.

"Thanks" Juliana replied.

"Anything else?" The man asked.

"Do you know where The Brandon House is?" Juliana asked.

"The group home?" The man asked.

"Yes my uncle is autistic" Juliana replied.

"I am sorry to hear that but I am impressed you care to visit him." The man replied.

"Actually I am bringing him home to stay with my mom and me." Juliana replied.

"That I do not think you should do alone. Can I have your mom's number?" The man asked.

"No!" Juliana cried before turning and running away.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Juliana get caught before she makes a major mistake? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	31. Concerns and Fears

Tony stayed up most of the night relaying calls and scouring social media. Juliana had deactivated her Facebook after John died. She mainly used it as a tool to inform others of John's care. She had a maintained a page for him for years, and most of her personal page was John's care. Same went for her Twitter and Instagram accounts. Tony missed the daily updates and love she had for her brother. Now he missed Juliana. He wanted her back with the family and safe. He sent Ziva upstairs around one, even though he knew she would not sleep. She came back down around seven looking worse than Tony had ever seen her. She looked even worse than the morning after John died.

"What will I do if I lose both of my children?" Ziva asked before collapsing onto a kitchen chair.

"You will not lose Juliana. She is alive and somebody will bring her back to us." Tony assured.

"She was depressed and she is not the type to just run away." Ziva replied.

"Maybe she just needed to get away to compose herself. She's been through a lot." Tony suggested.

"I just have the worst feeling." Ziva sighed.

* * *

After chugging down enough coffee to make the drive. Ziva returned to the police station and returned to her wait. Tony would join her after getting Gavriella off to school. He had to talk to her guidance counselor about something or else he would have had Carson get her to the bus. In the meantime Ziva just sat in the cold empty room and waited for news. They had sent her home at some point during the night but only because they felt she needed to rest. She got maybe half an hour of fitful sleep but she had not rested. John's death was peaceful and as much as it tore her apart. She had managed to hold onto the peace. There was no peace with Juliana. She had not fought a long and difficult battle and her death would not free her from her body's prison. She would just die because she felt her life no longer had meaning.

"Just bring her back to me." Ziva pleaded clutching her Star of David.

* * *

No shelters were open that time of night but Juliana took shelter in a roadside motel. It there were no rooms but the manager let her sleep on an ancient and scratchy couch. She used the hotels equally ancient laptop and spotty WiFi to find Donald's home. The website declared it a home away from home but Juliana knew better. She got on the city bus and took the two hour ride to the home. It was a farm and that made Juliana's stomach churn. She imagined the supposedly loved patients being used as slaves. Probably denied food but beaten for stealing from the baskets. The crops would then go to restaurants and markets where the owners would boost support for the autistic community. Sure enough Juliana got off the bus and witnessed a harsh looking woman screaming at a boy for having a Reese's cup.

"You could stand to feed the kid!" Juliana snapped.

* * *

Juliana did not even bother with the front desk. She figured they would insist on her having an adult present or tell her that Donald was in some sort of therapy. It would all be a disgusting lie. He was probably chained in his room the few hours he was not working. Instead she snuck into the facility behind Reese's boy and his "caregiver. There were seven rooms each room held two adults and one of rooms was the respite room. She walked up and down the hall until she found Donald's room. There was a bright red plastic plate with "ROOM 4, Patrick Shu bed, A and Donald Hillstien, bed B. Juliana knew from years of visiting John, that bed B was farthest from the door. She peaked inside and saw her fears were confirmed. Bed A was empty but had restraints, as did bed B, where a large man was balled up on the bed humming. Slowly she made her way towards the bed and gently touched Donald's shoulder. Donald screamed and shoved her back.

"AGGHHH! AGHHHH! AGHHHHHH!" Donald screamed repeatedly.

* * *

Juliana fell back and hit her head hard on the dresser. She was expecting pain but met only a soft foam and mild pain. Soon men in white were swarming the room. Two men went over to restrain Donald and another grabbed her by the arm and gently led her out. She and the man in white walked down the hall until they were in a plush office.

"How old are you? I need to know if I need to call your parents or the cops." The man, who was named Philip asked.

"I am sixteen." Juliana replied.

"OK well you are under age and did not harm Donald. I am going to let you off with a warning and call your parents." Philip explained.

"He's my uncle. I have the right to see him." Juliana insisted.

"Oh you are Ben and Muriel's granddaughter. Juliana? Correct?" Philip asked.

"Yes" Juliana snarled.

"Well Juliana did Ben and Muriel get you a pass? Even if they did you have to check in at the front desk." Philip explained.

"Why so you can loosen the shackles?" Juliana demanded.

"No it is for the safety of the residents. Autistic people are vulnerable and at high risk for abduction. We also have a young lady removed from an abusive foster home." Philip explained.

"If you care so much why are their shackles on the beds? Why did I see a man getting yelled at for having a peanut butter cup?" Juliana demanded.

"Mr. Shu has restraints on his bed because he thrashes at night and other times will bite his wrists when he gets stressed. Even still we very, very rarely use the resistant." Philip explained.

"What about the bars on the windows and alarms on the doors?" Juliana demanded.

"Most of our residents wander and we use the bars and alarms to keep them inside the facility and ideally contained to their hall." Philip explained.

"Why were they yelling at the poor man for having candy? Why can they not eat? What are you pumping into them? I saw that Donald has a Gtube. He can eat." Juliana demanded.

"To answer your first question Fredrick was the man you saw getting chastised. He has a peanut allergy and cannot read. We try to keep nuts off campus due to allergy risks but one of our staff accidentally grabbed the wrong lunch box. She always shares an allergy friendly candy bar with Freddy and he must have thought the candy was safe." Philip explained.

"Why did they yell? Can't they speak gently?" Juliana asked.

"Freddy is partially deaf and most days refuses to wear his hearing aides. We have to yell for him to hear us." Philip explained.

"What about my cousin's Gtube?" Juliana questioned.

"How familiar are you with members of the special needs community?" Philip asked.

"My brother had severe Cerebral Palsy, heart defects, and a long list of medical problems. I grew up at his special needs school." Juliana explained.

"Then you are familiar with sensory processing issues?" Philip asked.

"Yes what does that have to do with anything?" Juliana asked.

"Well most autistic people have certain foods they cannot eat due to being unable to swallow foods of that texture. Unfortunately Donald's issues are severe and that has made him a very picky eater. He has only three foods he will eat and none of them are healthy. Ben and Muriel had the feeding tube inserted years ago after a regression triggers Donald's issues. He simply was not getting proper nutrition. If not for the feeding tube he would be very, very sick." Philip explained.

"Why was he scared?" Juliana asked.

"He did not know you and he is already having a rough day. He had a little accident this morning and was embarrassed." Philip explained.

"How do I know he safe?" Juliana asked.

"Would you like to take a tour of the facility?" Philip asked.

"I would like that." Juliana replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Juliana is reunited with her grandparents in the next chapter and they tell her a few things. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	32. Understanding (or trying to)

While she still had her doubts, Juliana had to admit she liked Donald's home. She learned that the residents did work the farm but it ran like any other business. The residents worked three to five hours a day with an hour lunch break. The overseers watched very closely and encouraged water. Juliana witnessed one resident become overheated. He was immediately taken off to the sickbay and eventually had an ambulance called.

"William only wants to drink Dr. Pepper. Unfortunately it is not good for him. He's getting better about water but he still has his rough days." Philip explained.

"Why are they like this? Why don't they get better?" Juliana asked.

"The easy answer is it's just how their brains are wired. You can read scientific articles and different studies on the subject." Philip explained.

"Is there any hope for them? People like them?" Juliana asked.

"A cure for autism is much debated. The severe end is cruel but they still for the most part can live full lives. Even if they are very different from the lives you and I lead. Parents and caregivers may want to hear their child speak or not have to worry when they are gone. The flip side is most people only see the higher functioning end. The kids who can't talk but score winning shots for their basketball team or who relieved the valedictorian speech at their graduation and go on to work on helping sick children walk. People think they just don't want different people in the world." Philip explained.

"What do you think?" Juliana asked.

"I think what we need to do is improve education and work to make sure individuals are cared for. I think it would be nice if one day people like our residents can have independence. I think it would be nice if the people on the higher functioning end who so chose could be cured. Not because I hate autism but because I feel everybody should have the best quality of life possible. Really it's no different than entering one of those new trials to help crippled people walk or use their arms again." Philip explained.

"My brother never spoke, wrote his name, ate real food, or potty trained. He could only sit on his own for a short period of his life and he never lived without pain. I would give just about anything to play with him or hear him tease me. Why did my mom not get him better care?" Juliana asked.

"I called Ben and Muriel before the tour. They will be here anytime and they can better explain it to you." Philip explained.

* * *

Juliana had not been to her grandparents house since the first summer after her dad died. Before John the family would spend the month of July in Ohio. The summer last summer they went together Ziva was still pregnant and they had just learned about John's heart. They were near enough to the Children's Hospital that the doctors allowed the trip. The next summer Juliana went alone. John was in the PICU and they still had no home date. The summers after that John's immune system was so weak and his seizures were so unpredictable, flying was not recommended unless it were on a helicopter with medical support. Something the David family simply could not afford. They still sent Juliana every summer. She was old enough to fly alone and if John was stable one parent would fly out with her. She flew out that first summer after her dad's death but it was so hard on everybody. She opted not to return the following summer. She remembered Donald was away at summer camp. He went to camp every year in July. He either came home for the Fourth or left just after. Other than that he spent most of his time in his room or out with his helper Jared. Juliana now knew it was due to his outbursts and other issues stemming from his autism.

"First off I am going to say I called your mother and they have arranged a flight home for you. You are leaving tomorrow morning but can stay here tonight." Muriel explained.

"OK" Juliana replied, sitting on the ancient wicker couch.

"There are a lot of things your mom never told you about John. Even now she wanted to protect your innocence. Your father was the same way." Muriel explained.

"Why didn't they help him?" Juliana asked.

"They tried. Up until your mom had the trach placed they did everything they could to increase his life. During his final hospitalization she had the option of a final heart surgery. She actually considered it but he had a seventy percent chance of dying on the operating table. Then there were the post surgical risks. His immunity was so low and even a healthy person is at high risk of infection following surgery. Truth be told the doctors were encouraging her not to preform the procedure. The mortality risk was far too high and it would not improve John's life. It would just be another extension." Muriel explained.

"Why couldn't they fix his brain?" Juliana asked.

"They tried but they could never control the seizures. Each seizure did a degree of brain damage. He was having up to fifty seizures a day. No medicine worked very long." Muriel explained.

"What about cannabis? A girl in my history class uses it for seizures. She was able to mainstream last year after being in special needs school her entire life. Why didn't my mom get that for John?" Juliana asked.

"They tried unfortunately John was one of the patients who did not benefit from Cannabis His seizures dropped significantly but it made him violently ill." Muriel replied.

"I know how sick he was. Why is it so hard for me to accept that he died? Mom, Tony, and everybody is fine. Why did it shatter me so much?" Juliana asked.

"You are young and even though you are smart. You are still naive and innocent. You still see the world through a child's eyes. You saw John as strong and viable. When the adults saw him as fragile and terminal." Muriel explained.

"I miss having a brother." Juliana admitted.

"You have two brothers now. You have John who will be in your heart forever and you have Jason who needs a big sister to teach him about the world and his brother in heaven." Muriel explained.

"I don't want to replace John. I don't know why my mom did." Juliana replied.

"Remember when you were four and our old Sheepdog, Dusty ran out in front of the UPS truck and got run over? Grandpa Ben took him to the vet but they had to put him down." Muriel explained.

"Yeah what does that have to do with anything?" Juliana asked.

"Remember how at the end of the summer Mr. Higgins' dog had puppies? How Donald took to that round little yellow puppy?" Muriel asked.

"I remember asking mom and dad to let me have Buttercream's sister but they said no." Juliana recalled.

"But we adopted Buttercream." Muriel recalled.

"What does Buttercream have to do with Jason?" Juliana asked.

"We never forgot Dusty. Donald still squeals when he sees an old sheepdog. He still points to the picture and sleeps with his old collar. That being said he loves Buttercream. If she weren't so old we would consider letting her move to the farm with Donald. Jason is the same as Buttercream. He is new and he is healing your mom's broken heart but he will never replace John. You will still reminisce about John and get a twinge when you see a little angel in a wheelchair. Jason will be your earthly brother. He will be the brother you can play with and the brother who will drive you up the wall." Muriel explained.

"Why the dog analogy?" Juliana asked.

"The big link between Dusty and Buttercream, and John and Jason. Love cannot be replaced. Love can only grow and evolve. Love never truly dies but it is born. John will never die because he is part of you. Jason however will grow and add to the family in his own way." Muriel explained.

* * *

 **A/N: Juliana returns home in the next chapter and meets her new brother for the first time. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	33. Woman

Ziva was relieved to know her daughter was safe. All the times she waited for John to get out of surgery were nothing compared to waiting for Juliana. Even when John was on the operating table. He was right down the hall. If something went wrong he would be either placed in a private room for goodbyes or so the family could hold him one last time. With Juliana missing she did not know if she would even see a body. For twenty one hours she had no idea where her only daughter was. For most of those hours she sat in a police station. Just waiting for the news. She jolted any time the phone rang. When the phone call finally came in the officer kept a straight face. He maintained it until he had told every detail. Ziva felt pretty awful when she got the explanation. She had thought Juliana was just mourning and not thrilled about the baby. She had no idea that Juliana was so traumatized. She had explained about John and Donald years ago. She was sure that Juliana understood but maybe she didn't. Maybe it didn't matter because the loss of her brother rocked her world. Juliana had always advocated for brother and with him gone she needed someone or something to fight for.

* * *

The previous two days had been spent in the police station. This day was spent mostly in the airport. Ziva arrived hours early, anxious to greet her daughter. She had wanted to get Juliana home yesterday but knew that Muriel and Ben could handle this better than she could. Juliana's plane touched down at one fourteen in the afternoon. Ziva did not make signs or bring anybody along. She did not know how Juliana would be when she returned. Muriel had said Juliana was in good spirits when they dropped her off but who knew what had happened on the plane. Ziva had to stand on her tip toes to see her at first but she soon spotted Juliana making her way through the crowd.

"Ima!" Juliana cried.

"Juliana!" Ziva cried.

"Look I am sorry." Juliana apologized.

"I am not angry and unless this happens again I am not going to punish you. Under the current circumstances it really would not be fair. That being said this is not over. We will discuss it in the privacy of our home." Ziva explained.

"OK" Juliana replied.

* * *

Tony rushed through the airport hoping to go unseen. Juliana was in a fragile state and Ziva had insisted on going to the airport alone. Tony had respected her requests. He had no intention of going to the airport. Then he got word of a series of murders eerily close to a case he had during his short stint in Rota. Now he was heading back to Spain for hopefully a short trip. Ziva was staying with him and Gibbs had agreed to look in. The children were safe but still Tony worried.

* * *

Carson waited in the middle school parking lot. Carpooling a group of loud eleven year olds was the las thing he wanted to do but it was Tony's day and it was too late to change. Three girls came out, laughing, and practically screaming. Trailing behind them was Gavriella. The first three piled into the backseat. Gavriella stormed into the front seat and slammed the door behind her.

"Good day?" Carson asked.

"Oh it was great!" Molly shouted.

"Awesome" Cat added.

"It was the best day. I got two pudding cups at lunch." Ruth explained.

"Excellent, how about you Gavriella?" Carson asked.

"Can we just go home? Drop them off and the go?" Gavriella begged.

"I needed to stop by David's and grab the book I left last night." Carson explained.

"You can read?!" Gavriella gasped.

"Yeah you know I can." Carson replied.

"Just drop me off and get the damn thing after!" Gavriella snapped.

"Language" Carson warned.

"Shut up!" Gavriella screamed.

"Did something happen today?" Carson asked.

"Beats me" Cat replied.

"Not that I saw." Ruth added.

"She's been pretty moody and quiet all day, and she's awful pale. Maybe she's coming down with something." Molly explained.

* * *

Gavriella's whole body shook as she sat on the toilet. She thought she had to go to the bathroom but when she went she couldn't go. She was about to give up when she looked down and saw the blood. She knew she had kidney issues a newborn. She had seen the doctor every year until she was seven and she was cleared. Upon being cleared she had been given a list of things to watch for and bleeding was the big one.

"Carson!" Gavriella screamed.

"Ruth left her meter in his car. He went to drop it off. What do you need?" Ziva explained.

"I need to go to the hospital." Gavriella replied.

"What? Why?" Ziva asked, all the color draining from her face.

"I bled in my underwear." Gavriella explained.

"You are eleven, correct?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah, why?" Gavriella questioned.

"Didn't your fifth grade class watch a video about the wonders of womanhood?" Ziva asked.

"My class did but I was home sick." Gavriella replied.

"Gavriella you have become a woman." Ziva replied.

"What? How?" Gavriella asked.

"I am going to go get you some fresh underwear and show you what to do. Then we will have a little talk." Ziva explained.

"OK" Gavriella sniffed.

* * *

Gaviella starting her period threw Ziva through a loop. She had the talk with Juliana and it was easy. For one thing Julina had attended the talk and knew what to expect. For another thing Juliana was her daughter. She had just quietly mentioned it to Daniel but he never mentioned it. Gavriella was not Ziva's child. She was Tony's and that meant that Ziva had to go into detail with Tony. How did you tell a single father his daughter had started her period? He had left a little girl at home and was returning to a young woman.

* * *

 **A/N: How will Tony take the news? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	34. Emotions

Ziva managed to get Gavriella dealt with. She borrowed supplies from Juliana and then drove Gavriella to the store to pick out her own. Ziva was running low herself and she was due to start within the next week or two. The sale lady helped Gavriella select pads and tampons that were supposedly very easy to install. She then headed to the junk food aisle and instructed Gavriella to pick out her favorite sweets. The final stop was a package of cheap underwear that Gavriella would not mind being stained.

"How much does my dad owe you?" Gavriella asked reaching for the reciept.

"Nothing" Ziva replied.

"Are you sure I mean we have two bags of stuff." Gavriella commented.

"This first time is a woman's journey. Your dad can foot the bill from now on. Now that you know what to buy." Ziva explained.

"Are you sure? I mean with John's funeral and the hospital bills." Gavriella questioned.

"Yes I do have to watch my budget but this is necesarry.

* * *

Juliana bit her lip as she turned onto her former street. The "FOR SALE" sign was gone from the lot and had been replaced with a building permit. She knew the sign would be gone. Her mom had received a check for the lot. A foundation had already been poured. Had it really been that long? A mini van pulled into the drive. A man and a woman got out of the car. The middle seat. A small boy who appeared to be around John's age climbed out and began running around the yard shouting lines from the latest kids movie. A girl around her age climbed out of the way back. Juliana noticed the white cane and knew that meant the girl was blind. The bumper sticker read "AUTISM MOM" in bold letters and another read "Light In The Darkness Academy". Juliana watched as the mom guided the blind girl to the front left corner of the house. That was where her room would be. The older boy asked where his room would be and the dad led him to the back corner. A family with two or possibly three special needs children and two loving parents. Juliana was not special needs and Jason did not appear to be but John had been. The house would be filled with love, just as it had been before. The family walked around for a while, then got into the car and drove off into the sunset. They never even noticed Juliana had watched. She then turned and headed for home.

"How was your walk?" Ziva asked.

"It was nice." Juliana replied.

"Anything interesting to report?" Ziva asked.

"They poured a foundation where our house was." Juliana replied.

"I know. I am sorry we could not keep the lot. I looked into charities that may have built a house for us due to John's conditions. Unfortunately there was a wait list to even be a candidate. I got a call two days before John died. I knew he was never coming home and they only build for families where the person is living." Ziva explained.

"It's OK. I am not sure I could live there again." Juliana replied.

"Now that we do not have to accommodate for John. I am looking at places but it is hard to find within our price range." Ziva explained.

"Is Tony giving us the boot?" Juliana asked.

"No but he let us live here for John. Now that he is gone it just does not feel right." Ziva explained.

"Nothing feels right since John died." Juliana sniffed.

"I know" Ziva agreed.

* * *

Carson flung himself onto his bed. His sister had officially become a woman, his dad was dating, and he had a son. Who was no longer his son. His life had always been a rollarcoaster but the past few months had been especially intense. He picked up his guitar, an intrument he had not played in months. He set it back down and walked over to his desk. He grabbed his notebook and began scribbling down a letter for his son.

 _Dear, Jason,_

 _By the time you read this, you will know the truth. You will know that you are_

 _my son. I am sorry that I could not raise you but I was young and stupid, and I_

 _Made a dumb mistake. You may be wondering about your mom. She was beautiful_

 _and she was my first love. She died the day you were born. She took a bad fall the_

 _day before, and went into a coma. She developed and infection. They did a C-Section_

 _and you were born healthy. You were supposed to be adopted by a Hollywood power_

 _couple. Mendy Phleps and Conway Powers. They were on a TV show when I was a kid_

 _and they did a few movies since. They turned their backs on you for a more "interesting"_

 _adoption. So I hope they aren't famous anymore by the time you read this one._

 _That being said you were adopted by an amazing woman. Your mom Ziva._

 _She may even be my step-mom one day. If not you have an amazing big_

 _sister, Juliana. She has been through so much and is so strong. You also_

 _have an older brother John. He sadly has left the planet as well. He was_

 _very sick and died as a child. I am sure you will hear about him. As far_

 _as my family. Well your grandpa or stepdad (Pretty redneck but adoption_

 _can be messy.) Tony he is amazing. Your aunt, sister Gavriella. She is the_

 _most amazing girl. I tease her a lot or I used to, but she is the most amazing_

 _girl. I really love her and I love you._

 _Love your father, Carson."_

* * *

Ziva curled up on the now bare patch of floor. Just weeks ago John's bed had sat there. Now it was donated to a deserving family. John was dead and that was destroying her. She knew that he was at peace but that did not ease the pain. She was strong for Juliana but when she was alone her heart broke.

* * *

 **A/N: A lot of feelings coming out. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	35. Homecoming

September was a month that nobody was going to miss. October was better but had it's ups and downs. Jason had been doing well but got sick. He recovered but it made for a scary week. The illness took it's toll but he was slowly recovering. He was totally vent dependent for a week and a half but was now on room drawn oxygen. He for two weeks he ate exclusively by the NG tube but by week three he was eagerly eating more and more by mouth. Four weeks had now passed and he had eaten exclusively by mouth for six days. He had been in the step down unit for four days.

"Jason is doing well. He has not required oxygen in forty eight hours and has eaten exclusively by mouth for most of a week. He now weighs five pounds, two ounces, and his color is great. He is finally ready to go home." Dr. Miller explained.

"Are you sure?" Ziva asked.

"He was actually well enough yesterday but we wanted that extra night to be sure. Now he is still fragile and will require extra attention but I am sure that he will never return to the NICU." Dr. Miller explained.

"This is wonderful." Ziva gasped.

* * *

Ziva returned home and made sure that Jason's room was ready. He would be sharing her room at Tony's house. His area had once been John's area. The hospital bed had been replaced by a crib and a bassinet was placed by her bed. She had planned on having a home and a nursery by the time Jason came but Tony insisted they stay, and put the house money towards John's bills. Rochelle's parents had covered Jason's NICU stay.

"I'm home!" Juliana announced entering the room.

"Where's Carson?" Ziva asked.

"He took a shift at work." Juliana replied.

"Oh Jason is coming home." Ziva announced.

"He is?" Juliana asked.

"Yes, I was just going to pick him up, want to come along?" Ziva asked.

"Sure" Juliana replied.

"How was school?" Ziva asked.

"It was good. Carson and I were invited to a party. Well Carson was invited but sine Mandy and him split up he needed a buddy." Juliana explained.

"Will parents be there?" Ziva asked.

"No" Juliana admitted.

"You are seventeen and I trust you but if you do anything stupid. I will take that trust." Ziva explained.

"I understand" Juliana agreed.

* * *

The day he came home was the first time Juliana saw her new brother, since the day John died. She could not bear being in the room where her brother had taken his final breaths. Actually that whole hospital was hell for her. She did however want to be present for his big homecoming. She packed her camera and agreed to drive so Ziva could ride with Jason. Ziva took the elevator but Juliana chose the stairs. She arrived to the nursery and found her mother rocking Jason. She snapped a picture and then walked over to the chair.

"Do you want to hold him?" Ziva offered.

"Sure" Juliana agreed.

* * *

Ziva gently placed Jason, into Juliana's waiting arms. Her heart swelled with pride as she saw her daughter cradle her new brother. Juliana's relationship with Jason had been an uphill battle. Juliana was never keen on the idea, and it got worse after John died. Even after Juliana had accepted the changes in her life. She still was weary of Jason. Today however all of that had seemingly disappeared. Ziva took a series of pictures and then approached the rocking chair.

"He likes you." Ziva commented.

"Are you sure?" Juliana asked.

"Just look at him." Ziva replied.

"He is really cute. I mean John will always be my favorite but I like him too." Juliana explained.

"I understand and Jason will too one day." Ziva explained.

* * *

Ziva rode in the backseat beside her son. You would never be able to tell that Jason had spent his first months in the NICU. He was chunky, happy, and healthy looking. He was kicking his legs and waving his arms in delight, before they got him buckled in. He was so full of life and joy. It warmed Ziva's heart after eight years of watching her first son suffer.

"You are going home!" Ziva cried.

* * *

Ziva lifted John's carrier out of the base and carried him into the house. Juliana was recording the entire scene Ziva stopped at the threshold and took a look around. She remembered bringing Juliana home at four days old. She then thought of bringing John home after a long year. She looked down and panicked when she did not see any equipment. Until she remembered that Jason did not need anything. He was healthy and perfect. Not that John wasn't. After wiping away a tear, she continued walking to the den. She opened the door and carried the carrier over to the bassinet. She carefully lifted Jason out of his carrier and started to lower him into the bassinet. She stopped and took a seat on the bed. She looked deep into her son's eyes and that's when the tears started. Everything was just so perfect. She was happy but she also ached knowing that she had never had this moment with John. Just a perfect baby. No wires or tubes to worry about, no specialized holding technique. She could just hold John and it was almost too good to be true.

"Are you okay, mom?" Juliana asked.

"I am just loving the moment." Ziva replied.

"I still remember when John came home. He was so small for fourteen months old. I wish he had, had more time." Juliana explained

"I do too but he is forever in our hearts. He is a part of us." Ziva explained.

"I wish Jason could know him." Juliana commented.

"He will" Ziva promised.

* * *

That night Juliana quietly made her way downstairs and into her mother's room. She picked up Jason and held him close. He was the most precious baby she had seen since John. She looked into his eyes and understood why her mom had cried.

"Hello Jason, I am your big sister and I love you very much. You also had a big brother. His name was John and I loved him. He was sick since the day he was born and the day we adopted you. Was the day that he died. He is forever watching over you."

* * *

 **A/N: Jason's recovery was probably unrealistic but I wanted him home. Tony and Ziva have their first date in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	36. First Date

Ziva was amazed by how easy it was to care for baby Jason. Of course it was challenging to have a baby. That went without saying but compared to John. Compared to all the care that John had needed as an infant and through his entire life. Jason crying and needing constant care. Was a breeze compared to eight years of feeding tubes and alarms. Still she had her worries. Every cry had the chance of being from serious pain. He was developing slow but he had been born months premature. According to the doctors he was doing great but the fear was there. The fear would never go away.

* * *

Tony loved having a baby in the house. He missed having babies around. After losing his third child. He just didn't picture babies being around. Carson and Gavriella were so small back then that grandchildren were the farthest thing from his mind. Now he had a grandchild who may one day be his step-son. Ziva and him were still too new to really think that far in advance. Tonight they were having their first real date.

"So where are you guys going?" Gavriella asked.

"Just to a local cafe and a movie. Simple but we can easily leave if Juliana needs us." Tony replied.

"So Juliana is in charge of both of us?" Gavriella asked.

"Yes but feel free to help her with Jason. A newborn is a lot of work." Tony replied.

"Can I? He's so little." Gavriella observed.

"I don't want you handling him alone unless it is an emergency but you are more than welcome to help out." Tony explained.

"Do you think I could start babysitting?" Gavriella asked.

"Lets see how tonight goes first. Then we will talk after your next birthday." Tony replied.

* * *

Even though they had been together for months now and had been on several informal dates. Ziva was still nervous. This was not only her first serious date with Tony. It was her first serious date since Daniel. Over two decades had passed since she went on a real first date. Two decades had passed since she had been considering marriage. She never dreamed she would be wondering about marrying another man. She had always figured she would have Daniel forever or until they were old. After he died so young. She figured that she would just be alone. She figured that she just needed John and Juliana by her side.

"Are you nervous?" Juliana asked.

"Extremely" Ziva replied.

"You can cancel if you want." Juliana offered.

"I don't want to cancel. I want to go." Ziva insisted.

"You don't need a man." Juliana reminded.

"I know but I like Tony. I want to date him." Ziva insisted.

* * *

Tony and Ziva left around six. They were planning on arriving back around ten in the evening. That way Juliana would not have to be up all night. It was a Friday evening but Juliana had to work the next morning. Carson was working that evening and would not be back until eleven. It was just the girls and Jason. The couple was nervous about the entire situation but was more than ready to officially begin their relationship.

"I can't believe this is finally happening." Ziva said.

"I never thought we would get here. It seemed like every time we tried to have a date something would come up." Tony replied.

"Well here we finally are." Ziva replied.

* * *

Tony pulled into the cafe. He climbed out of the car and opened the door for Ziva. She exited and they walked inside together. Tony started to pull the chair out for Ziva but she had already seated by the time he got around. He took the seat across from her. A waitress came and took their drink orders. Tony ordered a coffee with cream and sugar and Ziva ordered a lemonade. The drinks were brought a few minutes later and then took their food orders. Tony ordered chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes. Ziva ordered a Cobb Salad.

"You like everything?" Tony asked.

"It's delicious" Ziva replied.

"Sorry it isn't fancier." Tony apologized.

"Tony this is fine. I am just glad that we are together." Ziva assured.

"I wish I could do better. I considered going to the Adams House but there is somebody I do not want to see there. Actually most nicer restaurants." Tony explained.

"Who can you be that afraid of?" Ziva questioned.

"My father" Tony replied.

"That scumbag is still alive?" Ziva questioned.

"Unfortunately" Tony sighed.

* * *

The movie Tony and Ziva ended up seeing was Wonder Woman. It was at a small theater downtown. That tended to show indie films and old black and whites, but every once in a while they would show a major movie. Wonder Woman just happened to be one of those movies. Even though it had just premiered at that theater. Tony and Ziva felt awkwardly out of place. The other occupants were teenagers and college age students. The only other older than twenty-five. Were a group of five woman who had to be over eighty. None of that mattered. Tony and Ziva were just enjoying each other. Despite having just eaten they split a bucket of popcorn. Tony had a coke and Ziva had a root beer. Despite falling closer to the elderly ladies in the back. The movie made them feel young again. The story was good but it was not the plot. It was just being together. They laughed and held each other close. They even made out a little bit. All too soon the movie ended and they were back to reality. As they were walking out of the theater. Ziva saw a woman and a man pushing a boy in a wheelchair. The boy looked almost identical to John. Ziva fell to the ground sobbing. Tony took a seat beside her and placed his arm around her.

"It's OK" Tony whispered.

"I miss him. I pretend to be strong but I miss him." Ziva sobbed.

"I know. Now come on let's get you to a cleaner place to cry." Tony replied, picking Ziva up and carrying her to the car. This was not the ideal way to end the first date but none of that mattered. He was just glad to have her.

* * *

 **A/N: What happens now? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	37. Positive Changes

Ziva's grief aside, the first date was a total success. They had already made plans to go out again the next week. Tony was saving up to take her on a nice date and he was planning a get away when Jason was a little older. Tony was happy the relationship was finally moving forward. Between John's decline and eventual death, work, and general drama. It had not been easy to get passed admitting feelings. Now things had finally settled down and Ziva had moved forward. They were well on their way to what Tony prayed was a successful and long relationship.

* * *

The movie and dinner were nice, as was the desert afterwords; but Ziva's fondest memory was Tony caring for her. She had broken down after the movie. Overall she was doing great with her grief but certain things were triggers. That wheelchair boy was one of them. There were times where she questioned her choice. Wondering if John did have life left in him. Even though she knew he did not. Her therapist said that she would always have these doubts. It was natural and it was common. They were working on coping techniques but Ziva would never be cured.

Tony knew all of this and he was amazing through everything. He had carried her to the car and held her until she stopped crying. Then they went to Dairy Queen for desert. He asked if she was OK several times but did not bring up the incident.

"I just wanted to thank you. For the other night. I know how much easier it would have been to just walk away or simply drive me home." Ziva told Tony.

"Losing John was hard on me too. Nowhere near as painful as it must be for you but it still hurts pretty bad. Honestly this is the least I can do." Tony explained.

"I know but I still just want to thank you." Ziva replied.

* * *

Carson slammed his locker shut. He tightly gripped the white envelope that held his future. He had started taking his grades more seriously since moving to DC. His old high school was known for it's basketball team. They'd had a professional grade court put in a few years back but even before then, they had several players go into the NBA. If you were a good enough player they just let you slide or were at least more understanding. The new school you had to maintain a C average. The coach signed your report card to keep you on the team. Carson had maintained his average and made the team. Until he slacked off in English. He was facing being cut, unless he improved his grade. He got the report today and he could not read it. Instead he headed for the gym and tossed the note into Coach Hooks' hand. Coach Hooks carefully opened the envelope and studied the slip of paper.

"Congratulations Carson you are back on." Coach Hooks declared.

"Really?" Carson gasped.

"You barely squeaked by and I have requested weekly reports from Mrs. Duncan but you are back on. Now go dress out, warm-ups begin at ten." Coach Hooks explained.

* * *

Juliana shifted in the counselor's chair. She used to love these meetings. Before John died that is. Now that her brother and inspiration was gone. She had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. She had wanted to be a nurse or a doctor. Watching John die had changed that. She no longer wanted to live in a hospital and tend to the sick. She had considered special education forever but that would bring it's own heart breaks. Seeing Donald in his group home had been very tough on her. She wondered if she could handle the students who did not get a happy ending.

"Good afternoon Miss. David." Mr. Jones greeted.

"Good afternoon" Juliana replied.

"Any ideas about the future? You are already accepted to several colleges and while you do not have to declare a major for a couple years. Certain colleges are better for certain majors. It would be great if we could make the choice based on your dreams." Mr. Jones explained.

"I am leaning towards special education but after John and then my uncle Donald. I don't know if I have it in me." Juliana explained.

"Understandable but since you mentioned special education. I have an opening for a volunteer position at Sunshine Academy's summer school program." Mr. Jones explained.

"How long do I have to decide?" Juliana asked.

"Applications are due the day before winter break." Mr. Jones replied.

"I will consider it." Juliana replied.

"Very good and this will give you a taste of the profession. Of course you will not be able to teach or handle care. It is more of a shadowing experience. My granddaughter did the program last year and adored it." Mr. Jones explained, handing Juliana an application.

* * *

It was just Ziva, Tony, and Jason. They sat together in the living room. Jason was asleep in his cot, Tony and Ziva sat on the bed. Jason had the DiNozzo eyes but he looked just like his mother. Ziva had seen Carson cry a few times at the sight of his son. The adoption would be final in a few weeks. Carson had long since terminated rights and they had a court date set. Ziva could not wait until the day that she could officially declare Jason her son, and finally post pictures of him. She had taken a million pictures of Jason but could not post his face until the process was complete. She was going to do a mass upload the first day that she could.

"He is a beautiful child." Tony commented.

"He is" Ziva replied.

"Do you think we will have one of our own?" Tony asked.

"I hope so." Ziva whispered.

"I guess I jumped the gun but I have been thinking about the future. We do not have as much time as we did in our twenties." Tony explained.

"I have thought about harvesting eggs and then if I wanted another child. We could either do IVF with me or use a surrogate." Ziva explained.

"If it comes to that. I love that idea." Tony explained.

* * *

 **A/N: Moving a little fast but this is going to be a fairly fast relationship. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	38. Holidays

Before anybody knew it, it was the holiday season. The DiNozzo household was decorated for both Christmas and Hanukkah. It was nothing short of a miracle that the Christmas decorations had been moved to storage while repairs were made on the garage. They were spared from the fire the previous year. Along with a few other mementos. The David's had not been so lucky but Tony went out and bought a menorah and a few other decorations. He would do anything to make them feel at home. In what was now their home. While he was at the mall, Tony stopped by the jewelry store. Juliana had been wanting this locket for months now and Tony was planning on slipping Ziva the money. While he was there he took a look at the engagement rings. He spotted the perfect ring. It was simple but elegant. The diamond was small but bold. It was perfect for Ziva. After checking his bank account. He purchased the ring to tuck away. It was still early but he knew that the big question was coming. He could not wait for the day he finally had the courage to ask.

* * *

On the first night of Hanukkah, Ziva and Juliana stood together and lit the menorah. Ziva watched with tears in her eyes as Juliana lit the first candle. Juliana loved lighting the candles. In the previous years Juliana would help John light the candles. This year he was not around. This was the first year he was not around. Juliana lit the candle and set the lighter down on the table. She then turned and headed towards her room.

"Do you want to open your present? It's the big gift night." Ziva offered.

"I don't feel like it." Juliana sniffed before rushing out of the room.

* * *

Juliana pretty much knew that holidays were going to suck from now on. John got over whelmed on Halloween and they rarely trick or treated beyond their street. Then everybody had been sick with the stomach flu on Thanksgiving. By the time everybody was well enough to actually eat. It was just a big meal on Saturday night. Both those holidays had been easy but Hanukkah was different. John had always liked Hanukkah. He was always so much more aware during those days. This was so much harder than she could have ever imagined.

"Juliana?" Ziva called.

"I'm fine" Juliana lied.

"Are you sure? Because I could make an extra appointment with Dr. Knight this week. Remember that he is going out of town for two weeks after today." Ziva offered.

"I don't need a doctor." Juliana insisted.

* * *

Gavriella had been saving her allowance for the past few months. She wanted to get something special for everybody on Christmas. Unfortunately she could only afford to shop at Family Dollar but she had ideas on what to buy everybody. She had even selected a gift for baby Jason. Juliana was going to take her the next afternoon but for now she stretched out on her bed making a list of possible gifts for the rest of her family. She could not wait for Christmas.

* * *

Carson stepped through the front door and took a seat at the kitchen table. He had no idea why he had agreed to work a double shift on a school night. He had already done his holiday shopping and his phone bill was not due until after the next paycheck. His dad had said there was food in the fridge for him and all he had to do was heat it in the microwave. He tossed the leftovers in the microwave and then walked into the living room. His dad had left the Christmas gifts out on the table. He knew that he was way too old for it but he could not help himself. He opened the bags to see if there was anything for him. Everything he found appeared to be in the Gavriella, Juliana, and Jason category. He hoped that meant his gift was a new car or something else epic. There was nothing for Ziva either. He wondered what that meant. Under the coffee table was a small bag. Carson knew it came from the mall's jewelry store. Curious he peeked inside. Inside was a tiny velvet box, again filled with curiosity he opened the box. His heart stopped for a minute and he felt as if he was going to be sick. He must have been screaming because the next thing he knew Juliana had turned her attention from the TV.

"Dude? What's wrong?" Juliana asked.

"This" Carson replied.

"Yeah so it's a ring. What's the big deal?" Juliana questioned.

"It's an engagement ring. My dad bought it. For your mom." Carson explained.

"Do you really think your dad and my mom are going to get engaged?" Juliana asked.

"That's what it looks like." Carson replied.

"Would that really be so bad? I mean they love each other and we all get along." Juliana offered.

"I don't want her to replace my mom!" Carson snapped.

* * *

The next morning Tony woke and found the ring on the floor. His heart began to race. What if Ziva had found it and this was her way of saying no. Maybe he had jumped the gun a bit. They had only been dating for few months. Was that too soon? Was he trying to build a family that was not meant to be. He put the ring back into the box and then back into the bag. He carried the bag to the attic and shoved it in with some random junk. For a long time he sat alone in the attic. He wanted to marry Ziva but he did not want to intimidate her and set the relationship back. He liked just having her as a roommate/friend. He should not have moved so quickly. He remained in the attic until he heard movement down below. He then came downstairs and prepared breakfast as if nothing had ever happened.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Carson confront Tony? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	39. Two Days Til Christmas

It was now two days until Christmas and the DiNozzo's were eagerly awaiting the holiday. The children had outgrown most of the traditions but they still adored the holiday. This would be the first year that Gavriella would accompany her dad and brother to midnight mass. Tony had taken the kids shopping for Christmas clothes and Gavriella had bought a red dress to wear to the service. It was a little more grown up than Tony liked. It was the first dress Gavriella had bought from the junior's department and it wasn't even inappropriate. In fact a mother had commented on how impressive it was that Gavriella had selected such a proper dress. It was just grown up. Tony was not ready for his baby girl to start shopping in the junior's section or becoming a woman. He just wanted her to stay his baby girl forever.

* * *

Christmas was in two days but Hanukkah had been over for three. Ziva had finally gotten around to taking down the decorations. She loaded everything into a box and carried it up to the attic. Taking everything down but it was especially rough this year. Juliana had cried and escaped to her room. Ziva had faked a smile as she loaded the box. She set the box on the ground and was starting towards the door. When she heard Tony's voice.

"Hey Ziva! While your up there can you grab my box of sweaters! The kids aren't home until tomorrow! I can finally wear one!" Tony called.

"Yeah just a minute!" Ziva called back.

* * *

Ziva returned to the boxes and sorted through until she found one labeled "Holiday Sweaters". She lifted the box and backed up. As she did she knocked down a second stack of boxes. With a groan she set the sweater box on the floor and began returning items to the proper boxes. Her hand landed on a small velvet box. "Must have been something Tony bought for his first wife." Ziva thought to herself. Burning with curiosity, she opened the box and her heart fell to the floor. It was an engagement ring and it was a newer one. Ziva had seen the collection at the jewelry store, just a few months before. To her knowledge Carson was not seeing anyone, let alone planning an engagement. She knew that Juliana had never had a serious relationship. That meant that it had to be for her. Tony had bought it for her. Suddenly it made sense. That is why Tony had sent her up for the sweater. He wanted her to find the ring. It was his surprise engagement. Her heart raced and she was bursting with joy.

* * *

It was not until after Tony had requested the sweaters, that he realized what he had done. Not only had he allowed Ziva to carry her own box up to the attic. Not very gentleman like of him. He had also sent her to look through boxes. He had hidden the ring in a box. The last thing he needed was for her to find the ring again. Even if he did go through with popping the question. He was going to wait until after the children had gone to bed on Christmas Eve. Maybe he was just worrying for nothing. The sweater box was nowhere near the box where he had hidden the ring.

"Oh Tony! You sly dog!" Ziva cried racing into the room.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked.

"The ring! I mean hiding the ring in the attic and then sending me for your ridiculous sweaters! That is so perfect!" Ziva cried.

"First of all my sweaters are not ridiculous. Secondly you didn't find the ring already?" Tony asked.

"No I had no idea. I thought I saw a jewelry store bag but I assumed you had just bought that locket for Juliana." Ziva explained.

"But I found the ring on the floor the other night. It was still hidden when I went to bed and I went to bed after both girls." Tony explained.

"The day you went holiday shopping?" Ziva questioned.

"Yeah why?" Tony asked.

"Didn't Carson work that night?" Ziva questioned.

"He did. You don't think that he found the ring? Do you?" Tony asked.

"He's the only one who could have." Ziva reminded.

"Shit that would mean he did not want me to marry you." Tony sighed.

"If you want to wait. I don't mind." Ziva offered.

"No I want to marry you. I will talk to Carson." Tony insisted.

* * *

Carson was away from home but his mind was still on the ring. His mind was always on the ring. He could not believe that his dad wanted to get married again. Dating was one thing but marrying. Marrying meant replacing mom. What was worse. He was the only one who saw issue with this arrangement. Gavriella loved the David's, and had already asked if dad would marry Ziva. Juliana had lost her dad but she had no trouble accepting Tony. Clearly neither of them cared. Obviously his dad was ready to marry Ziva. He doubted Ziva would have issue. After his dad had set up the gravy train for her. Surely she would say yes and then Carson would have a new family he did not want.

* * *

Juliana was coming home from getting her Christmas shopping done. She had been meaning to take Gavriella a few days but something always came up. She turned on to the street just before hers. When she heard her phone buzz. She knew better but she had been waiting for a text. She picked up her phone and opened the message. It was not the text she expected. So she tossed the phone back onto the seat. It was that one second that made all the difference. She did not see the other car until it was too late. She slammed on the brakes but it did nothing and the next thing she knew. She had gone into the ditch.

* * *

 **A/N: Will the girls be OK? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	40. Fallout

Ziva was curled up under Tony's arm, her head resting on his chest. She raised her hand and studied her ring. She could not believe that she was engaged. She never thought that would happen again. She just never saw a second marriage. Even when things got serious with Tony. He had done marriage before. Surely he was done. She was done or so she thought. Life was pretty perfect right now. Unfortunately life rarely stayed perfect.

* * *

Tony watched with pride as Ziva admired her ring. He was proud that he could give her such a gift. He knew that he would never replace Daniel. She would never replace Sofia. Nobody could and neither wanted that. They just wanted to be happy. Everybody wanted to be happy and now they had found their happiness. Things were perfect but Tony was smart enough to know that would not last long. It seemed that good rarely lasted for him.

* * *

The girls were taken to a nearby hospital. Juliana was awake and talking. Gavriella was not so lucky. She was unconscious by the time help arrived. Immediately Juliana's phone was found and taken as evidence. Even with the texting charge. The other drive was at fault. He had crossed the yellow line trying to cut off another driver. This was not the first incident for the driver. It was just the first time somebody had actually been injured. Still Juliana's phone was taken and Tony would be given the opportunity to press charges.

* * *

Juliana felt terrible. The physical pain was bearable, it was the mental pain that was breaking her. She hated herself for checking that text. She knew better than that and she had participated in her school's anti texting and driving campaign. Ironically she had worn the "Stay Alive, Love, and Thrive, DON'T Text and Drive" t-shirt just the day before. How could she have been so careless? She just wanted to be with Gavriella but she could not get out of bed. She had asked but the nurses would barely even look at her. Let alone tell her a word about her victim.

* * *

Tony and Ziva were almost asleep. When they heard their phones buzz almost in unison. They had not made an announcement yet. So confusion had soon set in. Tony managed to sit up and grab his phone first. He answered his cell and listened for the message. The words hit his ears and his face paled. He was going to be sick.

* * *

Ziva was still fumbling for her phone when she saw Tony's reaction. Instantly worry set in. She had just found her phone. When Tony excused himself from the room and stepped into the hallway. Ziva answered her phone and soon knew exactly how Tony felt. She remained in the living room and listened to every word. Tony was already racing out the door, as she hung up. Carson bounded down the stairs. Ziva had to wait for Jason's sitter to arrive but she knew she would be heading to the same place as Tony and Carson.

* * *

Tony and Carson shook with fear, as they stood by Gavriella's bed-side. Her head was bandaged and her face bruised. She had swelling on her brain and they were not sure what the future would hold. It was hard to believe. That this was the same girl who had been dancing around the house just that morning. The same girl who wanted to be a teenager. Now she may never leave this bed of forever have the mind of small child. Nothing would be known until she came to. If she came to that is. It was a lot for Tony and Carson to take in. Neither wanted to face a future without Gavriella or with Gavriella forever changed. They just wanted their girl back. They took turns sitting by her side. While the other went to the chapel and prayed.

* * *

Ziva burned with fear, rage, shame, and guilt. Never in a million years. Did she imagine that her daughter would be in such an accident. Juliana was always so careful. She had made her mistakes but never anything like this. Never anything that may forever alter a life, a family. She was sure that it was a mistake, but it was not a mistake. Her daughter had been texting and driving, and now her fiancee's daughter. Her soon to be step-daughter, was fighting for her very life. It made Ziva sick all over again.

* * *

The hospital's chapel was decorated for Christmas, another blow to Tony. Gavriella had been so excited about Christmas and midnight mass. Now she may never get the chance to celebrate or maybe she would be celebrating in the heavens above. Neither was a scenario Tony wanted. He closed his eyes, bowed his head, and prayed that his daughter would come through, and be as she was before.

* * *

Carson hated that this was happening. His little sister drove him crazy and sometimes he hated how smart she was, but he loved her. He loved her and her having permanent brain damage was the last thing that he wanted. He hated how they had been fighting that morning. He could not even remember what they were fighting about. He just knew that they had been fighting and whatever it was, it was stupid. He wished that he could take it back. He wished that he could have her back.

* * *

Tony stormed down the hospital's hallway. The shock had subsided and the rage had set in. He was furious at Juliana. He hated her for being so irresponsible. He hated Ziva for raising such a self involved and careless child. How could he marry a woman like that?

"How could you raise such an idiot?!" Tony demanded.

"Tony it was a mistake." Ziva sobbed.

"She knows better! Everybody knows better! Texting and driving is the dumbest thing you can do! How can you defend her?! She is a monster! And if Gavriella dies, then she is a murderer!" Tony ranted.

"The other driver was at fault." Ziva reminded.

"Juliana was at fault!" Tony countered.

"Tony..." Ziva begged.

"Give me the ring back." Tony insisted.

"Tony please" Ziva pleaded.

"I SAID GIVE ME THE GOD DAMMED RING BACK!" Tony demanded.

"Here!" Ziva cried, lobbing the ring in his direction.

"Thank you! You have twenty-four hours to get out of my house! We are over and I never want to see you again!" Tony screamed.

"I will be out by tonight." Ziva replied, her heart was breaking, and she doubted that she would ever stop crying.

* * *

 **Will Gavriella wake up and will Tony and Ziva be able to make amends? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	41. Breaking Apart

December 23rd came and went, and then came Christmas Eve. Carson went out early in the day with friends but Tony spent the day by his daughter's side. She was doing better than the day before. The swelling had reduced and she was more responsive. Still the doctors could not give any definite answers. It was breaking his heart. Seeing her so weak and powerless. It also brought back memories of Sofia in the final days. He wondered if he would end up burying a second child. Now he was glad he had moved the grave. He hated feeling this way but the future was so uncertain.

* * *

Ziva surveyed her new home. If you could call it that. It was a roadside motel that offered extended stays. It would be crowded but it was better than anything else in her price range. The next best choice was a house that was literally falling in on itself. She told herself that it was temporary. She was going to save up and move to Ohio to live with Daniel's parents. Living with the elderly parents of her dead husband was not ideal but it was better than this.

"Sorry I got you kicked out of Tony's life." Juliana apologized.

"It's not your fault. I guess it was just not meant to be." Ziva assured.

"I knew he was too good to be true." Juliana scoffed.

* * *

Carson hated himself for being away from his sister. He did not know if she going to be OK. Nobody did. His dad had insisted that he get out for a little while. So he had gone to join his friends on a day trip. He hated how they were laughing and carrying on. He hated how his life had changed recently. Between the loss of Rochelle and seeing his son born months early, and now Gavriella being injured. Things just didn't seem to matter anymore.

"You OK, man?" Frank asked.

"Fine" Carson lied.

"Dude, Coop got us fake ID's. Want to see some naked girls? Maybe toss back a few?" Frank asked.

"Yeah afternoon strippers. Not the best crowd. Think I'll pass." Carson replied.

"So what you gonna do?" Frank asked.

"Just drop me off and I will take the bus home." Carson replied.

"If you're sure." Carson replied.

* * *

Juliana couldn't say that she was surprised. She felt guilty for the accident, yes. It was tearing her apart inside, yes. Still she felt that Tony had overreacted. He didn't have to continue his relationship with her but throwing her out when he knew that she was struggling. Blaming Ziva who was an innocent. That was just unfair. He could have kicked just her, Juliana out. That would have been justifiable, but screwing the entire family over? That was wrong. She thought about running away again but that would not solve anything. Besides the only place she could run was where her mom would end up eventually. So she stayed. She stayed in the tiny cramped hotel room and listened to her mother cry. By now her guilt was unimaginable. She had nearly killed the girl who should have been her step-sister, and she had destroyed her mother's relationship. She had destroyed two lives in just as many days, and it was destroying her inside.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am sorry, mom. I am sorry, Tony. I am sorry, Gavriella. I am sorry. So, so sorry. If I could do it over I would." Juliana sobbed.

* * *

Ziva ached seeing her daughter in so much pain. She was blind sided by everything and still in shock. She was still struggling to piece her life together. She had a daughter who had been distracted driving and nearly took a life. Juliana was not at fault but Tony could still go after her. She could still be locked up. Ziva could still lose a second child. Not in the same way that Tony could lose a second child, but still devastating. She hated how much her heart was broken and how fragile everything was. She just wanted her life back.

* * *

It was night now. Carson had spent the afternoon with his sister but Tony sent him home, after dinner. He had received a text that Carson had gone to church. That amazed Tony. Carson had not stepped in a church in months. Tony himself had attended the Christmas Eve service in the hospital's chapel. He had sat with other parents from the PICU and prayed for their children. Having the surreal experience of hearing the story of Christ's birth. While wondering if his own child would survive the night or what the future would hold. Now it was almost time for midnight mass. The service he was supposed to attend with Gavriella. Instead he was here. Sitting by her hospital bed. His mind went to her dress. He spoke to the nurse and then sent Carson a quit text. Half an hour later the dress arrived. With the help of Gavriella's nurse. He got Gavriella changed into her dress. They took pictures and did their best to make the room Christmasy.

"I wish you could see how beautiful you looked." Tony whispered.

* * *

Just like that it was Christmas morning. Carson was at the hospital but had not even asked about his presents. He had been shaking boxes for a week. Instead he just kept watch with Tony. The past three days now had been rough and they made no promise of getting easier. Again Gavriella had improved but still had a ways to go. They still did not know much. A nurse in elf print scrubs came to bring people down for a special Christmas breakfast. Carson had gone but Tony remained. Outside the window a snow was starting to fall. Gavriella adored snow. Even though it made her life harder. She was always so positive. Tony was so lost in memories of his girl. That he swore he felt her grab his hand. No he did feel her grab his hand. He looked down. Just in time to see Gavriella's eyes fling open and look into his own.

"Daddy? Where am I?" Gavriella asked.

* * *

 **A/N: Gavriella is awake. Could she talk sense into Tony? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	42. Truths

Gavriella was awake and she was talking. That was a good sign but so much was still unknown. She didn't know where she was but she had only just woken up. Still they did not know just how much she had forgotten and talking was only a small thing.

"Where am I?" Gavriella asked again.

"You are in the hospital. You were in an accident." Tony explained.

"Is everybody else OK? Where are Carson and the Davids?" Gavriella questioned.

"Carson is in the cafeteria getting some food. The Davids are not around anymore." Tony explained.

"What do you mean?" Gavriella asked nervously.

"I kicked them out. Because Juliana is the one who hurt you." Tony explained.

"What do you mean?" Gavriella asked.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Tony asked.

"Going Christmas shopping." Gavriella replied.

"Well Juliana was texting and driving. She hurt you." Tony explained.

"Oh" Gavriella replied.

* * *

The David's had settled into their new home. If you could call it that. The hotel was crowded and loud. You could hear everything that happened in the surrounding rooms. One couple was having a fight bordering on domestic abuse. The second couple had been having sex pretty much since arrival. Juliana had plugged her headphones in and put them over her ears. Even though she had no reception. Ziva was just begging for Jason to cry. She would take his angry cries over arguments and sex any day.

"Maybe if I go somewhere else. Tony will let you move back in." Juliana offered.

"No I will not move back in without you." Ziva insisted.

"Why did he react like that? Tony isn't the type to just fly off the handle." Juliana asked.

"He may have just been scared and reacting out of fear. I can't say that my reaction would have been different if it were you or Jason. Who had been injured in an accident caused by one of Tony's children." Ziva explained.

"Why?" Juliana asked.

"Seeing your child injured and fighting for there life. It's terrifying. You always want to blame somebody. I spent years placing blame for John. Every doctor we saw; before and after his birth, the anti nausea drugs I used before I realized I was pregnant. I even blamed your father." Ziva explained.

"You blamed dad?" Juliana gasped.

"Yes" Ziva replied.

"Why?" Juliana asked.

"I assumed that it had to do with Donald's autism. I was completely ignorant but I was scared and hurt. I regret it every day. Things got so bad that your dad and I split up for a time." Ziva explained.

"You did?" Juliana gasped.

"It was only for a month or two and it was after John's stroke. I was always at the hospital and your dad was home with you. That is why you did not notice. We did not want to tell you until John was doing better. You just assumed that I was at the hospital and your dad was home because of work. What you did not know. Was that I was looking at apartments while your dad was with John. I had already begun to move in with Gibbs." Ziva explained.

"What made you forgive him? Was it when John get pneumonia?" Juliana asked.

"No it was you actually. When you accidentally got on the wrong bus and ended up on the other side of town." Ziva explained.

"What's it going to take for Tony to forgive me and get back together with you?" Juliana questioned.

"Time" Ziva replied.

* * *

Gavriella was given a clean bill of health by all her doctors. She would have to remain in the hospital for another day or two but she would be coming home whole. Tony and Carson had agreed to wait and celebrate Christmas when Gavriella was home. By that afternoon she had been allowed to go to the hospital's Christmas Day service and allowed to attend the Christmas Party in the playroom. Gavriella along with Tony and Carson had been given gifts. They had sang Christmas Carols, ate cookies, and drank cider and cocoa. They had celebrated with families who may not have the luxury of knowing when they would be coming home. With families who may not come home. Now they were back in Gavriella's room.

"How are you feeling nerd? You lose any IQ points? Could I Carson Anthony be the smartest DiNozzo from now on?" Carson questioned.

"Do I look brain dead?" Gavriella teased.

"Ouch" Carson whimpered.

"You're still the athletic DiNozzo." Gavriella offered.

"Athletic is better anyway." Carson smirked.

"That's debatable" Gavriella rebutted.

"Against you no way." Carson laughed.

* * *

That evening Carson had gone home. Leaving Tony alone with Gavriella for the remainder of visiting hours. They had just finished a special desert and were now sitting up watching a bad movie on the TV in her room.

"The way you are acting. Is the exact way that McGee and Abby treat you." Gavriella said out of the blue.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"It's obvious. You are treating Juliana the way that McGee and Abby treat you." Gavriella explained.

"That is completely different!" Tony argued.

"No it's not. You are refusing to forgive somebody for fluke. You have nothing to back you up except for what you assume." Gavriella explained.

"She was texting and driving." Tony reminded.

"The other car hit us. She put the phone down before. Even if she had not been distracted beforehand. She would not have been able to do much." Gavriella explained.

"Are you sure?" Tony questioned.

"I was in the car. You were at home." Gavriella insisted.

"Still things should have been different. The accident should not have happened." Tony explained.

"But it did and they happened the way they did. There is no point to anger. Please forgive Juliana and Ziva. Even if we cannot be a family anymore. I want us to be friends and I want to get to know my nephew." Gavriella explained.

* * *

 **A/N: Both Ziva and Gavriella made valid points. Ziva explaining the mind of a stressed and frightened parent. Gavriella the logic of the situation. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading.**


	43. Forgivness

Gavriella was right and Tony was praying that he could fix things with Ziva. Even if he could not repair their romantic relationship. He wanted to repair their friendship and he really wanted her to move back in. She deserved a safe place to live and he liked that Gavriella had two strong women in the house. Now that he had calmed down a bit. He saw just how irrational and cruel he had been. In truth he wasn't even that angry with Ziva or even Juliana. He was angry at the world. Gavriella had already been through so much. Having been born so premature and then losing her mom at only five years old. All that and the fire. She did not need a coma, she had been through enough. She was going to be just fine. Now Tony just had to hope that his friendship with Ziva would be the same.

"Did you talk to Ziva yet?" Gavriella asked.

"She hasn't returned my call. I don't know I may have lost her." Tony sighed.

* * *

Ziva studied her phone with great apprehension. Tony had called her and she was not sure what that meant. There was a chance that he was going to forgive her. There was an equally good chance that he wanted to attack her further. She understood his anger and his fear. She had been there more times than she could count. Never the exact situation. John's condition could never truly be blamed on anybody but she had sure placed the blame a few times.

"Call him back." Juliana insisted.

"What if he is angry?" Ziva questioned.

"Then hang up and forget about him but it won't hurt to call him back." Juliana explained.

* * *

Just when Tony was about to give up. When he was going to let Ziva go and forever hate himself for his behavior. Convinced that he had lost Ziva forever. Not only her romantic love but also her friendship. Having no idea how he would cope with the loss or how he would break the news to the children. Carson was not overly thrilled about the union but Gavriella was desperate to have her surrogate mother back. Just when he was about to admit defeat and crumble. His phone rang and it was her calling.

"Hello?"

"I am glad I reached you Tony."

"No I am glad that I reached you. Listen Ziva I am sorry."

"You do not have to apologize. I would have reacted the same way in your situation. In fact I have."

"I was horrible to you and I was just plain cruel to Juliana. If she will listen. I would love to apologize to her too."

"I will put her on in a minute."

"Great and look I know that our romantic relationship is damaged. I know that the engagement is not going to come back anytime soon. We are going to have to start back at square one. If we can even start over. That will have to depend on what Juliana wants. If she cannot forgive me. We are going to have to just let it go. That being said. I want to be friends. Again if Juliana will have me. I also want you to move back in. You deserve the safety and security."

"You are one hundred percent right about Juliana. Everything will depend on her willingness to forgive but if she is willing to forgive. Then I am more than willing to try our relationship again and maybe become engaged again one day."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

* * *

Juliana held her mom's cellphone close to her ear. Tony had been forgiving her for the better part of an hour. She appreciated that he cared to forgive and she knew that he cared for her mom. She wanted to accept his apology but it was not easy to be forgiven by a friend. When she could not forgive herself. She knew that the accident was her fault. She knew that long before Tony spoke to her or the hospital treated her the way that they did. She knew that the accident was her fault from the moment that it took place. There was no going back and they way she saw it. There was no forgiveness.

"Listen Tony I know that you are sorry and I want you to try and work things out with my mom but I cannot accept your apology."

"I know I was horrible and cruel. I do not deserve your forgiveness and I certainly do not deserve your mother."

"No it is not you. It is me. I know that this was entirely my fault. I cannot forgive myself and I cannot expect the world to forgive me."

"That is not true, Juliana. It was an accident and everybody knows that. Even though I had the opposite reaction."

"It was not you. In fact you were kind compared to the others. The hospital treated me like a monster and my friends haven't been much better. What I did was inexcusable and I am sorry to you."

"It was not your fault and of course I forgive you."

"Thank you but I will never deserve it."

* * *

Tony had Ziva's forgiveness and Juliana had apologized up and down. Ziva would be taking Juliana and Jason to Ohio. One to sort things out and two so that Jason could meet Daniel's parents. Tony did not mind Ziva's relationship with her former in-laws. Kids should have grandparents and that was Jason's only real option. Ziva's father was dead and he was no prize in life. Senior was nothing but a grade A bastard. Whose idea of being a grandparent was showing up to his daughter in laws funeral shit-faced drunk, and taking a six month old infant to the dog track on a freezing day.

"Did you talk to Ziva?" Gavriella asked.

"Yes I did." Tony replied.

"And what happened?" Juliana questioned.

"She and I are going to work things out. We are not engaged anymore but we would like to be again soon." Tony explained.

"Are they going to move back in?" Gavriella asked.

"They are going to go to Ohio to get things sorted out. Juliana is having issues from the accident and needs to get away. When they get back, they will move back in." Tony explained.

"Good because I love our family." Gavriella explained.

"I do too and I am glad I did not destroy it." Tony agreed.

* * *

 **A/N: I know Ziva forgave Tony awfully quick but this is fiction. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	44. Home Again

The next day Tony and Carson brought Gavriella home. After such a major scare. The only visible evidence of the accident were a few cuts and bruises. She would have to see the neurologist every week for a couple months but she would soon be good as new. Tony was beyond grateful to have his daughter home. Just three days before he was not sure if he would ever see her awake again. Now she was just fine and carrying on as if nothing had ever happened.

* * *

Ziva, Jason, and Juliana boarded the flight for Ohio. Ziva and Jason would be staying for a week but Juliana would be staying a while longer. She did not want to come back until the rage over the accident had died down and she could go back to her old life. Gavriella was doing well and Ziva prayed that would ease some of the anger. Juliana had already been through enough during the past year. She did not need to take abuse for an accident. An accident that was not even her fault. If Tony could realize that and beg for forgiveness. Then surely Juliana's friends and teachers could come around as well.

* * *

Tony had tears in his eyes as he turned into the driveway. He was so grateful to have his daughter home. Once parked he grabbed Gavriella's suitcase out of the car. While Carson helped his sister out of the car. The DiNozzo family slowly entered their house as a family of four. Extremely grateful that they had that opportunity. Once inside Tony helped Gavriella up to her room.

"How are you feeling?" Tony asked.

"I am OK. My head hurts but I am OK." Gavriella replied.

"Are you going to feel up to visitors? Not today but maybe tomorrow." Tony questioned.

"I guess" Gavriella replied.

"Do you need anything right now? Anything you want to do? We have to take it easy for a couple days but we could watch a few movies." Tony offered.

"Actually I just want to lie down and get a little sleep." Gavriella replied.

"Why? Are you OK? Do we need to go back to the hospital?" Tony questioned.

"No I am just exhausted. Once I woke up it was nearly impossible to sleep in the hospital. It was crazy loud and they kept coming into my room to check on me." Gavriella explained.

"Well in that case sleep well." Tony replied.

"Will do" Gavriella yawned.

* * *

Juliana's second flight to Ohio was far different than her first. For starters this time she had her mom and baby brother by her side. This time she was excited to have her baby brother. She now knew that Jason would never replace John. The main difference however. When she flew out the first time. She was just a scared and grieving sister. She was the victim then. Now she was the girl who had been texting behind the wheel and nearly killed the girl who should have been her soon to be step-sister. She was a pariah. One thing was the same and that of course was how glad she was to get away. Once in Ohio she would enroll at the high school near her grandparents house. She would start over and she would pray that nobody found out the truth about her. The reason why she had moved out to live with the parents of her dead father.

"Are you sure that you want to stay? There should still be space on me and Jason's flight." Ziva offered.

"I need to get away." Juliana insisted.

"Well if you change your mind let me know any time before we fly out and I will make arrangements for you." Ziva explained.

"I am not going to change my mind." Juliana insisted.

* * *

Carson was beyond grateful to have his sister home. For all the crap he gave her. He really did love her and the past few days had been among the scariest of his life. He hated seeing Gavriella weak. Even with her weak muscles. She was still the strongest person he had ever met. What was worse than seeing Gavriella hurt. Was seeing his father helpless. It brought back horrible memories of when his mom was sick and when Faith was born. He pretended to be tough but Carson would have lost his mind if he had lost another sister and had to see his father breakdown again.

"How is she?" Carson asked.

"Still lying down but she did not get much sleep in the hospital." Tony explained.

"Should one of use be with her? Should she have a monitor or something? I mean she still has the head injury." Carson questioned.

"She is fine. The doctors cleared her to sleep on her own. She just needs somebody around to make sure she doesn't fall and somebody who knows what to do if she suffers side effects. The neurologist assured me that she should be fine though." Tony explained.

"I am glad. I could not handle it if I lost her." Carson replied.

"I know." Tony replied.

"I love her. I don't show it but I love her." Carson explained.

"I know and she knows." Tony assured.

* * *

That night Tony slept on the floor of his daughter's room. Not because he was worried for her but because he did not want to leave her. He was trying to be strong for the children but the fear remained. He was terrified that if he left her too long something would go wrong. He knew that she would be furious if she woke up and found him on the floor, but he was too scared to take chances. That girl and her brother were his world. He would be beyond lost without them.

"Hey dad? Can I join you?" Carson asked.

"Yeah but remember that your sister will be pissed if she finds us." Tony explained.

"I know but I don't care." Carson replied.

"Same here" Tony agreed.

* * *

 **A/N: Still a lot of drama with both families. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	45. New Day

Gavriella was ready to return to school immediately after winter break. Tony had his hesitations and had contacted her neurologist to make sure everything was OK. Gavi was granted permission to return to school but was told to skip gym class and take it easy. Tony drove her to school that first morning and left pain killers with the nurse. Even though Gavriella had not had any headaches in several days.

* * *

With both kids back in school, Tony was able to return to work. He had given the phone number for Gavi's school, to Vance's secretary. Just in case something were to happen while he were in the field. Due to having to drop Gavriella off and give special directions. He was the last to arrive to the bullpen. He smiled when he saw who was sitting at the fourth desk. Ziva had returned to work about a month after John's death but had been deemed unfit to return to the field, and had been working in another department. Today she was officially back.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were coming back." Tony commented.

"I had to redo the evaluation after the accident. I was just cleared this morning." Ziva explained.

"Well I am glad to have you back." Tony replied.

"Don't get used to having her at your side. If this relationship continues. I am going to have to put one of you on a different team." Gibbs announced.

* * *

Ziva was relieved to be back in the field and back to some sense of normalcy. Jason and her had been living with Tony for several days now. While Juliana remained in Ohio. It was hard for her to return without her daughter. This was really the best for her. Ziva pushed those thoughts from her head and chose to focus on her work. She loved being back at her old desk. She loved having some sense of normalcy in her life. She loved having Tony right there. Even though she now knew that would not last much longer.

* * *

Juliana had her first day in her new high school and her emotions were mixed. She was relieved to be away from the accident and it was nice not to be the girl with the dead brother. She was not the only kid in her school to have lost a sibling. She was not even the only of her friends to have a dead sibling. John's death was simply the most fresh. Juliana needed to escape the pain but being away from the pain meant being away from the understanding. Nobody in this new school knew why she was crying in the hallway. They just knew that she was crying. She was the new girl halfway through Senior year and she was crying.

* * *

Carson avoided his former friends. They were OK guys but Carson just didn't want to hang out with them anymore. He actually didn't know what he wanted anymore. His entire life had changed during the past few months. He went from being a carry free kid who just wanted to party and have fun. To a teenage father who was selling his kid to a Hollywood power couple. To being a single father, with a premature son, and dead ex. Having to search for a new family in a panic. To a slightly more serious kid, whose dad happened to be dating the adoptive mother of his son. To somebody who didn't know who the hell he was.

"Hey you're Juliana's friend, right?" A voice called from behind him.

"I wouldn't say we are friends. Her mom is dating my dad." Carson replied.

"Oh well I saw you guys around and she spoke highly of you." The girl replied.

"She seemed to think I was a jackass." Carson commented.

"She thinks all guys are jackasses. I know her dad died a few years back and my shrink said that may have created issues. Not claiming to be a professional or anything. Now would you mind stepping to the side a touch. You are blocking my way." The girl explained.

"Oh sorry" Carson apologized.

* * *

Confused Carson stepped aside, wondering why the girl didn't just go around. Instantly he took back the wonder. The girl maneuvered her wheelchair around where he had stood and rolled herself up the ramp that led out of the cafeteria and into the outdoor eating area. Carson recognized her as Juliana's friend Opal. He noticed for the first time how curly her dirty blonde hair was and how perfect her hazel eyes were.

"What's wrong? Never see a girl in a wheelchair before?" Opal questioned.

"No I have just never one who. I mean not that they could but you are the first..." Carson rambled.

"I am the first one to turn you on but it's not because wheelchair girls couldn't turn you on. You were just the sexist pig Juliana thought you were until now. Every girl had to be a Barbie and most people our age have never heard of Share A Smile Becky." Opal expanded.

"Well yeah. How did you?" Carson questioned.

"The weaker the legs the bigger the brain. Actually Juliana didn't like you at first but you grew on her and she did want to be friends." Opal explained.

* * *

Gavriella was relieved to be back at school. The day after Christmas David Sabor's car had hydroplaned on dry ice. Everybody was OK though his sister Molly did have to spend the night in the hospital, and David had broken his arm. He had a yellow cast and got to use his iPad in class. He was the hero and Gavi's accident was forgotten. Under the circumstances that was exactly how she liked it.

"Gavi! I heard what happened! Sorry I didn't call but I was at my grandparents and they have a no devices rule. So I was out of the loop until today!" Molly cried.

"It's OK, I am fine." Gavriella assured.

"Well I am glad you are OK! Oh and I am going to be a big sister tomorrow! To a sister!" Molly cried.

"Awesome" Gavriella replied.

"It is the best!" Molly squealed.

"Hey do you still need tutoring in math?" Gavriella asked.

"Afraid so" Molly sighed.

"Meet me in the library during free period." Gavriella replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Does Carson have a new girlfriend? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	46. What Is It Like

Ziva had taken to sleeping in Tony's room. It was not every night and she had not planned on taking that step so soon. They had not even taken that step when they became engaged. So far nothing had happened. Nothing that would qualify as sex anyway. They had made out a few times and spooned but they were still waiting for the big step. Sex was a major step forward and there was no going back. They just wanted to make sure they were ready.

* * *

It was late on a Friday night and both parties had the weekend off. Tony and Team Gibbs after a month and a half of weekend duty. Ziva on the other hand had transferred back to the armory. Returning to the field was not what she had expected and she decided to let Tony remain with Gibbs. She was happier and Tony was thriving under Gibbs.

"I spoke to Juliana today. She is doing great at her new school. She has made a few new friends and has started going to church with one of them." Ziva explained.

"Church? Isn't that awkward for you? Being Jewish and all?" Tony asked.

"While Juliana had her Bat-Mitzvah at thirteen. Daniel and I agreed to allow our children explore any faith they desired. Besides it's just a weekly youth mass and then group fellowship." Ziva explained.

"I'm glad that she is doing well. Try to put me on next time." Tony replied.

"Of course I tried tonight but you were still out with the kids." Ziva explained.

* * *

For the first time in months Tony felt at peace. He was in a great relationship, with a wonderful woman and his children were doing great. Things were finally starting to look up with McGee and Abby. The tension was still there, but McGee had legitimately invited him out for drinks the other day. Things were finally starting to look up and for the first time in almost a year. Tony had no regrets about leaving Los Angeles.

* * *

Carson thought that his first date was awkward but it was nothing compared to the first post Rochelle date. The first post baby date. Poor Opal was as anxious as he was and kept asking if it was because of her wheelchair. Truth be told Carson did not even notice the chair. It was weird being picked up by a girl. Tony had been old fashioned and insisted that Carson pick up all of his dates. Save for a few times where he met Rochelle somewhere after one of his games or her recitals. Things were different with Opal. With her wheelchair it was easier for her to drive her accessible van, than it was for him to have to get her in and out of his small car. After dinner and a movie they had headed to Dairy Queen. Opal's cousin was a manager there and had treated them to free ice-cream. Along with allowing them to stay past close.

"Well I have to say dating you has it's advantages." Carson commented.

"You should see me at the Amusement Park and Carnivals. I was fast pass before fast pass became a thing." Opal laughed.

"That sounds cool but having a cousin who manages a Dairy Queen and hooks you up. That is like the best." Carson explained.

"I didn't hook you up! I just used my discount!" Lisa called.

"Still great!" Carson called back.

 _*BZZZZZZZZZ!*_

"I hate to break up the party but that's my alarm. I am heading to the restroom and then we need to head home." Opal announced.

* * *

Juliana was having her first sleepover in years. Technically it was only her second sleepover. Her first was two weeks before John was born. Her group of friends were planning on starting a sleepover club but that changed when John was born. Ziva and Daniel traded off nights at the hospital and whoever stayed home needed rest. When John was home they always had to be prepared to rush to the hospital and he needed so much extra care. A sleepover was simply not feasible. Juliana went to plenty of sleepovers but eventually it was just too weird. To be the only kid who never hosted a party and she stopped going.

"Hey Juli?" Lacy asked.

"Yeah? Juliana replied.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Lacy questioned.

"Shoot" Juliana replied.

"What's it like to have a disabled sibling?" Lacy asked.

"It had it's challenges and if we are being honest. There were times that I hated him. There were plenty of times he were normal and I had a normal life. That being said I loved John with all my heart and I would not trade the years with him for the world." Juliana explained.

* * *

Tony still had the ring. He wondered if Ziva would want the same ring back or if he should sell this one and get another ring. How did you sell an engagement ring? A sold engagement ring meant the relationship had ended. Most people assumed there was negative karma or energy attached to the ring. He knew that sounded stupid but it was what he had always heard. All that aside he loved this ring. This ring was Ziva. It was the most perfect thing in the world. He just did not see feeling that way about another ring. No matter the cut or the clarity. No matter how many weeks or months salary he spent on the new ring. He just did not see any other ring being so perfect. So he did the only thing that he could. He put the ring back into it's attic hiding spot and waited for the moment where he could pop the question once again.

For the longest time he just sat on the hardwood floor with the box in his hands. Ready to hide it away but not at the same time. His mind flashed to the time where he could ask. To the day they married and the two families became one.

* * *

 **A/N: When will Tony ask again? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review**


	47. Therapy

Tony and Ziva ended up agreeing to see a couple's therapist. Even though they weren't even engaged yet. They realized that both had a lot of issues to work out and that merging two families was never an easy feat. Even though the children were getting along now. There would still be bumps in the road.

Tony and Ziva sat side by side in the waiting room. They were minutes away from their first session with Dr. Mason. McGee and Delilah had used him when Delilah's injury threw their relationship off course. He came highly recommended by both the McGee's and a few other friends who had used the same doctor. Tony and Ziva were excited and nervous to begin their new journey. They were excited because beginning therapy meant that they were serious about their relationship. That moving forward would most definitely happen. They were nervous because they feared that Dr. Mason would not see hope in their relationship and that it would fail before their eyes.

"We will make it work even if Dr. Mason doesn't see hope, right?" Tony questioned.

"It depends what he says. It depends what we feel." Ziva replied.

"We have come through so much. Why wouldn't he see any hope?" Tony asked.

"I don't know but I am not going to get too excited." Ziva replied.

Carson and Opal made their way to the auditorium. Neither could believe that it was already time for the big Junior speech. The speech where they heard about all their opportunities for Senior year and where they would get advice on registering for college. In a little less than two weeks it would be college night and they would go around checking out different colleges.

"So what do you want to do with your life?" Opal asked.

"I don't know college night in coming up and career night it a week after that." Carson replied.

"Still no ideas?" Opal laughed.

"Social work seems pretty interesting but I will have to see what my options are. I kind of half assed the SATs. The low end of average. That's really going to screw me." Carson explained.

"Well you could do Community College for a year and then look to a bigger school. That would give you time to try again." Opal suggested.

"Maybe. So what is your plan?" Carson asked.

"Law school and then become a lawyer for the handicapped." Opal explained.

"Is that legal? To only serve one group of people?" Carson asked.

"Fighting for people who were discriminated against for being disabled." Opal laughed.

"I guess that you would be able to relate better than most." Carson commented.

"Exactly. So what kind of social work do you want to do?" Opal asked.

"Kids or the handicapped but probably kids. Jason really opened my eyes." Carson explained.

Juliana was enjoying a rare moment alone. She didn't have any afternoon activities and her grandparents had taken Donald to a doctors appointment. She wished that she could be there. He was having a fairly major dental procedure. Any surgery was risky but Donald had a heart condition and a seizure disorder that made everything twice as risky. She hoped that things worked out and that Donald would handle himself well after the surgery. He would be spending the night at the hospital and then spend a day or two at home to recover. Juliana was almost asleep when her phone began to ring.

"Hello?"

"Juli it's grandpa."

"Is everything OK?"

"There were complications and Donald had a mild seizure on the operating table. Thank God it was just when they were about to bring him around. However they do want him to stay an extra day and to be in the ICU at least overnight."

"Can I see him?"

"Not tonight they really want him to rest. Your grandma is going to stay with him for the night and my friend James is going to drive me home."

"When will you be home?"

"I have to get an update from the doctor. So probably within an hour or two."

"Dinner will be waiting."

"You don't have to..."

"I insist."

Gavriella gave herself a nervous glance in the mirror. Jimmy was watching her for the evening but he had run out real quick to grab more diapers for Jason. After a lot of begging and a call to Tony. He had finally agreed to leave her alone. Gavi was twelve now and could stay alone but her dad did not like the idea. At least not for more than an hour.

Being special needs and having a forever overprotective father was. bad enough but having the body of a little kid was the worst. She had started her period but she still didn't have much hair and her boobs were mosquito bites at best. What was somehow worse. She was growing faster than her friends. Gavi had always been on the short side but she had hit a sudden growth spurt. Now she was suddenly tall. She was not Molly tall but she was tall enough. Nothing on her body matched. It was almost like she was Frankenstein's Monster and made from a grab bag of parts. She just wished that her Frankenstein had looked a little harder for breasts. Breasts and leg muscles. Those were her two main weaknesses. Those were the reasons she would have a hard time finding love. Gavi heard the door slam shut. She quickly tossed her close back on and headed out of the bathroom.

"Everything go OK?" Jimmy asked.

"It was fine" Gavi replied.

"You seem nervous did something happen?" Jimmy asked.

"I am just. I wish I had a mom or sister to talk to." Gavi admitted.

"Well Ziva will be home soon and you could always call Juliana." Jimmy reminded.

"I could" Gavi gasped.

 **A/N: Will Tony and Ziva be helped by therapy? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	48. The Road

The road was not an easy one for Tony and Ziva. Their relationship had it's bumps but they made it work. They married just before Jason's second birthday. It was a small and interment ceremony with only their closest friends and family.

Both Tony and Ziva had the desire for more children but knew that it may not come easy for them. They were proved right when Ziva was found to be in the early stages of menopause. With the aide of IVF they became pregnant after seven months of marriage. Eight months later they welcomed a perfect baby girl into their lives.

"Oh Tony she is perfect." Ziva cried.

"She is." Tony agreed.

"What should we call her?" Ziva asked.

"Liza Gayle DiNozzo" Tony replied.

"Oh I love it!" Ziva cried.

Carson and Opal ended up splitting up after Senior year. Opal was going to Harvard and Carson had decided to return to Spain. Funny enough both ended up married to other people and those other people led them back to each other.

Opal married a blind man she met in a support group for handicapped students at Harvard. They dated off and on through out college and ended up getting married a year after graduation. Within months the marriage soured when it turned out that Opal's husband was abusive and spiteful. After three years Opal had enough. She left her law firm and moved back to Seattle where her brother lived.

Carson spent a year in Spain before moving back to America to study social work. After a string of failed relationships and no real luck in the job market. He returned to Spain and began to teach English at a local school. He met and fell in love with the woman who taught in the room next to his. They married and soon after became pregnant. They welcomed a beautiful baby girl. Who was diagnosed with a severe heart defect before birth. Carson's wife ended up not being able to handle the diagnosis and walked out when Elaine was only four months old. Shortly after Elaine's first birthday Tony heard of a promising trial in Seattle. He sold most of his things and moved back to the states.

He got a job as a social worker with the hospital. It was not great pay but it paid the bills and the hospital gave him special perks. One day he ran into a lawyer who was speaking with parents of a special needs child denied her feeding tube by a daycare instructor. That lawyer was Opal.

One thing led to another and the couple was married within six months. Tragically Elaine succumbed to her disease two days before her third birthday. Carson and Elaine were lost for a long time but with the help of Tony and Ziva they fought through the tragedy. Two years later they were surprised with natural twins. Nothing short of a miracle for Opal who was told she would likely never carry a child. They delivered a boy and a girl on their fourth anniversary. They named their son Matthew Clarke and their daughter Maria Elaine.

Juliana went to school and studied special education. She was well on track to graduate early but three weeks before she received her degree. One of the children in the class she was shadowing died from a massive seizure. In the classroom, right in front of Juliana. The death reminded her of John and it did not help that Donald had died from cancer three months prior. Juliana ended up dropping out of school. She joined Carson in Spain but after a bad break up she returned to the states. Where penniless she moved back in with Tony and Ziva. She took a job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. One night while in the middle of the shift the store was robbed and Juliana took a bullet to the chest. She lost a lot of blood and it was touch and go for a while but she survived. While in the coma she saw images of John, Donald, and little Eli the boy she lost in class. They all told her to get her life back on track. She returned to school and to her dream. It took two years due to Juliana's recovery process but she earned her degree and soon got a job at John's former school. She ended up adopting a young man with Down Syndrome who had been removed from his home. She hasn't found a man yet but she lives happily with her son Garrett.

Gavriella finished school and like her brother took a gap year. During Gavriella's gap year she worked with Juliana at the store. She was supposed to be off the night that Juliana was shot but switched shifts with a co-worker so she could attend a concert with her boyfriend. She was the one who found Juliana and saved her life. Saving her sister gave her the desire to save lives. Due to her physical conditions she was limited in what she could do, or so she thought. She ended up studying to be a nurse. Inspired by her niece she took a job in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Within a year she was back at school and ended up becoming a doctor. Seven years later she returned to the NICU as a doctor. She was surprised to be reunited with Mollie due to her work. Mollie was a paramedic and came to the NICU to check on a baby she had helped deliver. The pair of friends caught up over coffee. They met again the next week and again the next. Soon the graduated to dinner and within three months they were dating. They married a year later and soon Mollie became pregnant with their first child. A son who they named Christopher Zachariah. Two years later it was Gavriella's turn to carry a child and she gave them a girl named Sheila Francine.

For thirty two years Tony and Ziva watched their family. They watched every triumph and every tragedy. They held each other when their first grandchild died. They prayed together when Juliana was shot and fighting in the ICU. They celebrated Carson's wedding to Opal and Gavriella's to Mollie. They were present for the births of the twins and for Gavriella's children. They were in the courtroom when Juliana adopted Garrett.

They watched Jason and Liza walk, talk, and start school. They were there for both high school and college graduations. They were there when Jason became a police officer and Liza a paramedic. They were there to see Jason get engaged to his girlfriend of five years. They were there when they welcomed their first two of five children. They were there when Liza got engaged and for her wedding. They were there to welcome Liza's first and only son.

It was Tony who went first. He broke his hip in a bad fall and ended up catching pneumonia. He fought as hard as he could but died after five weeks in the hospital.

After Tony died something changed inside of Ziva. She no longer cared about her life or anything really. She started to forget things and soon fell into dementia. She died in her sleep on the one year anniversary of Tony's death.

 **A/N: Sorry for the abrupt end but I was out of ideas for this story. Thanks to all who read, followed, favorited, and reviewed. Please leave one last review.**


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